Message: Anal Was Really Good, But Still Afraid

Anonymous: Hey there! First of all, great job with this blog 🙂 my BF show it to me and we talked and tried anal sex for the first time ! I than decided to share this unexpected experience with you :p That was very weird at first! I thought my BF’s d**** will never get inside. I guess I was resisting :p but afterwards, the feeling was honestly great! I mean new to me but really good. I’m glade we had fun! Now I’m still afraid of anal. Do you have any advice to avoid anal problems? Like incontinence…?

Thank you, and congratulations on an enjoyable first experience with anal!

Incontinence from anal sex is largely a myth. It can occur from severe anal damage, but even regular anal sex will not lead to this if you follow safe practices and avoid doing anything painful. Regular anal training and sex, especially if you incorporate plugs like toys and do kegel exercises, will end up strengthening the muscles rather than weakening them and leading to incontinence. The “looseness” people associate with anal sex is a combination of short term looseness after the fact, and conscious control of some of the muscles involved that can make penetration easier as you develop that control. But it always naturally returns to its tighter state when not being used.

Anal prolapse, another commonly cited issue resulting from anal sex, does not have evidence linking itself to sex, and it’s believed that people who get an anal prolapse already have the preexisting conditions that will eventually develop into that prolapse and that it has nothing to do with anal sex. (Many of the prolapses in porn aren’t true examples of the potentially serious medical condition of anal prolapse and are done deliberately for the camera by people who have developed the ability to do it.)

As long as you use lube and stop if anything is actively painful to take a break or use a smaller toy for a little while before trying again, or if you are bleeding, you should have no problems. With safe anal practices, there are plenty of people who have been having frequent anal sex for decades with zero health issues as a result of the sex.

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