For women living anal only, it’s not uncommon to occasionally feel a tug of curiosity about what you left behind. The vagina, once seen as central, is now dormant—untouched and unneeded. And yet, sometimes, a stray thought forms, a subtle feeling, a question: What would it feel like to use my pussy again?

The Legacy of Vaginal Conditioning

From childhood, we’re taught that the vagina is the center of female sexuality. Penetration, pleasure, periods, reproduction, loss of virginity—all routed through one place. It becomes the expectation, the symbol of sex, the assumed default.

So when you go anal only, you’re not just making a physical shift, you’re rejecting a cultural norm. You’re overriding decades of conditioning. And every now and then, that conditioning might try to whisper back.

That whisper isn’t proof that you’re not anal only. It’s proof that you’re undoing something deeper.

What “Curiosity” Usually Means

For many women, vaginal curiosity is less about real desire and more about:

• A reaction to external triggers (a memory, an old fantasy, a scene in a show)
• Hormonal cycles that create momentary sensitivity
• Psychological rebellion against the boundaries you’ve chosen
• A desire for something easier, especially if anal orgasms are still difficult for you

Ask yourself: Do I really want to use my pussy again? Or do I just want to feel something forbidden, different, or nostalgic? Often, the answer is clear: you don’t want to go back.

When Women Give In—and Regret It

Some anal only women do give in to vaginal curiosity at some point. And almost without exception, the result is the same: disappointment, disconnection, and deep regret.

They often say that it wasn’t anywhere as pleasurable as they had remembered, that it may have even been uncomfortable or painful, and that they can’t believe they broke their streak for something so disappointing.

The act itself is rarely pleasurable compared to anal. It doesn’t satisfy. And while it may resolve the question of “what if,” it almost always leads to renewed and even stronger commitment to anal only going forward.

But here’s the truth: you don’t have to learn the hard way.

That regret can be avoided. You don’t have to break your streak to know that your ass is where your real pleasure lives. Curiosity doesn’t need to be acted on. It just needs to be understood, acknowledged, and then redirected.

How to Handle the Feeling

1. Don’t panic. You haven’t failed anything by having a thought. Anal only is not about being numb. It’s about staying aware and aligned.
2. Redirect arousal through the ass. The fastest way to silence the whisper is to amplify what already satisfies you. Use a larger plug. Masturbate with a larger dildo. Have a long anal session with your partner. Watch your favorite anal only scene. Let your body remember where it belongs.
3. Recommit symbolically. Put a big butt plug in and journal. Remind yourself, not with guilt, but with intention, why you’ve chosen this path.
4. Talk to your partner or mentor if needed. Sometimes curiosity fades faster when shared and seen for what it is: a moment. Not a need. Not a desire. Just a passing wave.

You gave up your vagina for a reason. You know what your body craves. You know where your real orgasm lives. So when that old curiosity flares up, smile at it. Recognize it. And then let it go. Curiosity doesn’t mean turning around. It means you’re standing on solid ground.

And the only way forward is through your ass.

Nthan: Me and my gf are engaging in semi-regular anal sex (she’s new to anal and we are taking it slow). She takes it well, but I really want to train her more, I want to stretch and gape her before we have anal sex. She likes to gape when we fuck, but shes dragging her feet with this and doesn’t engage when i try to talk to her.

I would appreciate some help to get her more in to it and also toys to use to stretch her out (i like hollow plugs, need to get one asap)

FYI – We still use her pussy, about 60/40 pussy to ass, trying to move in the right direction at a good pace

Your help please?

Thanks for sharing your question — it’s clear you’re enthusiastic about anal and excited to deepen the experience with your girlfriend. That’s great, and it sounds like you’re already making progress together. It’s important to remember that anal training, especially stretching and gaping, isn’t just physical — it’s emotional and psychological too. For many people, especially those newer to anal, it can take time to fully embrace the idea of training or making anal the primary focus.

You mentioned that she enjoys gaping when you’re having sex, which is a great sign — she’s already finding pleasure in the sensations and reactions of her body. What might be happening now is that she’s unsure how to approach more structured stretching, or she may be hesitant about what it means long term. Rather than pushing for training directly, try talking with her about what turns you on about seeing her open up, and invite her to share what she likes about anal so far. Keep it light and sexy — not pressure-filled — and center it around shared pleasure and intimacy, not just goals.

As far as toys, starting with medium-sized silicone plugs with longer necks can help her get used to deeper and more sustained stretch. Hollow plugs can be exciting visually and for warmup, but for comfort and daily training, a solid plug with a smooth taper may be better. You can also explore mutual play — try using toys together during foreplay or while watching porn, and make it feel fun and bonding rather than like a routine or a task.

Finally, since you’re still having a mix of vaginal and anal, it might help to agree on small, positive shifts rather than jumping to anal only immediately. Maybe you set aside one night a week that’s just for anal, or try taking a break from vaginal for a week as a sexy challenge. Focus on deepening your shared love for anal rather than eliminating other kinds of sex too fast. The more she associates anal with fun, connection, and affirmation, the more she’ll want to explore what her ass is capable of — for herself, not just for you.

Tim: My girlfriend is turned on by anal only in sexting. This was so HOT! Problem is that when we are physically together, we tend to have vaginal sex. And she is very aroused by this, and we have a great time. But I enjoy anal only. She is aroused like hell, and she make me aroused. Question is, how do I stop enjoying this? Because I want to. I just want to forget her pussy exist and want her to never think about vaginal ever again. I want her to be horny in her ass, and refuse her vagina. Where do I begin?

I’d like to add that we broke up recently, due to more factors leading us to separate. That she refused anal was one of them, but like all good relationships; sex isn’t all. But sex is one of the important parts of the chain. We broke up! But a week later, she came to a party I had, and I told her that she could be here with us and have a good time; she and I ended up leaving all the folks out and she and I had anal sex! I told her that’s exactly what I wanted. She was so aroused by the idea of being anal only. And I was so in love because I finally thought I’d meet my queen wife.

So we started dating again, and gradually we started having vaginal sex again.

I want this to end… I WANT and NEED our lives to be in truly vaginal rejection and living anal only. But she likes vaginal so much. And to be honest, I like the sex as well, since she is so sexy and attractive to me, but in the depth of my heart I want us both to commit to abandon vaginal play forever. This is the last straw for me, to kiss her pussy goodbye—to welcome her anus to be the real stuff.

What should I do?

Should I refuse to give her vaginal from now on? Ought I to be harder on her? She does not like masturbating without me being involved. Shall I be more strict, and enforce her to stop this “naughty vaginal play”?

Thanks for the message, it sounds like you both really enjoy anal and love the idea of being anal only but have had a hard time putting it into practice. That’s not unusual, quite a few people really want to embrace anal only and love the concept of it but find their old ways are easy to return to and end up going back to vaginal over and over again.

If you both share the desire for anal to be your main or only form of sex, the key is creating consistency, clarity, and arousal around that goal. Start with a clear agreement together, even if it’s temporary: a week, a month, or even just a single weekend of strictly anal only. Frame it not as a restriction but as an exciting experiment to deepen the pleasure, intimacy, and intensity you already feel when you’re focused only on her ass.

Help make anal more accessible and satisfying for her outside of sex, too. Daily or regular plug wear—even small at first—can help her body and mind stay in the anal zone. Try mutual masturbation where she only uses her ass while you talk about how hot it is that she’s keeping her pussy off-limits. If she’s open to it, you could even do playful denial or ceremony around not touching her pussy—create rituals or routines that build anticipation and make anal feel like the centerpiece it truly is.

Above all, keep your focus on arousal, not enforcement. The more she feels desired and empowered for her anal pleasure, the less she’ll crave anything else. If you can consistently make her feel like her ass is the most important, most loved, most hers part of her body—and reinforce that with practice, praise, and intimacy—it’ll become her new default. Over time, anal only won’t feel like a rule you’re both trying to follow; it’ll just feel like who you are together.

Obviously, if she enjoys control around keeping her pussy off limits, you could incorporate that as well, but embracing her arousal from anal and anal only is likely the most effective strategy.

Anonymous: Hi, I’ve been transitioning into the anal only lifestyle for a few months now. I’ve stopped having vaginal sex and only penetrate my ass for sex or masturbation, which has been an amazing change. I feel more connected to my body and much more focused when I orgasm.

But I still find myself drawn to clit stimulation when I masturbate, even though I know it doesn’t really fit with the anal only mindset. I don’t want to depend on it anymore, and I want to fully commit to anal orgasms only. How do I break the habit of going back to the clit, and retrain my body to respond only through my ass?

Thanks for everything you do — this blog has helped me more than I can say.

If you haven’t already, I recommend checking out our Benefits to Avoiding Clit Stimulation During Anal Sex page in our Guide, it details a lot of what you’ve already mentioned but also goes into detail about how to stop using your clit.

It makes total sense that you want to move past clitoral dependence and focus on pure anal stimulation and pleasure instead, and I commend you for wanting to take that step. It will only deepen your enjoyment and your commitment to the anal only lifestyle.

It sounds like this is mostly an issue for you when you masturbate, not when you have sex. If you’re able to focus on the anal pleasure during sex, I encourage working on shifting your thoughts to your ass when masturbating as well. If you’re just casually playing with yourself and fingering your ass and feel tempted to rub, take the opportunity to focus more on your ass and switch to something more active like a dildo. The increased penetration and sensation will help you away from your clit. Whenever you feel the urge to touch your pussy, increase your anal intensity instead. Use that urge to redirect attention to your ass.

If you still find it hard to ignore, try covering it with tape when masturbating, or using a topical anesthetic like orajel to temporarily numb your clit. A physical barrier or numbing can work very well to train you away from it because even if you’re tempted to touch, it won’t deliver any sensation — and your attention will return to where it belongs. Over time, your body will adapt. The clit will fade from your awareness, and your ass will take over fully.

Anonymous: My girlfriend is incredibly skilled and passionate about anal fisting and double anal — I’m so proud of her and love bragging about her talents to trusted circles. I fantasize about her showing off those skills in some good, hard gangbangs or intense group sessions, really owning her sexuality.

She was raised Christian and, while she’s not deeply religious anymore, the idea of actually engaging in group sex still feels like a heavy conflict for her. This creates tension between my desire to see her fully express herself and her lingering reservations.

Am I okay wanting her to move on to real-life double anal experiences with others, even if it challenges her comfort zone?

It’s completely okay for you to want that. Fantasizing about your partner being fully used, admired, and celebrated for her abilities—especially when she’s as talented and passionate about anal fisting and DAP as you describe—is a natural extension of your pride, arousal, and deep admiration for her. There’s nothing wrong with craving that next level of intensity, or even feeling like it would unlock something deeper in both of you. That’s part of the anal only mindset: wanting to go further, stretch wider, and be even more fully shared.

At the same time, her background and concerns matter too. Even if she no longer holds strict religious beliefs, years of internalized messages don’t just disappear. Group sex, especially in the context of showcasing her body and talents, can feel like a direct challenge to everything she was taught to suppress or avoid. That doesn’t mean she’ll never move in that direction, but it does mean she may need time, space, and the right framing to get there.

Instead of pushing her toward a decision, consider framing it as a shared evolution. Not “I want you to do this,” but “I love how you’ve embraced anal and DAP, and I can’t stop imagining how powerful it would be to see you fully celebrated in that way. Not because I need it to happen, but because it excites me to think of you being admired and filled and stretched for others the way I already admire and desire you.” Let her feel how much this comes from love and erotic awe, not pressure.

So yes, wanting it is okay. Even if it never happens exactly the way you imagine, the fact that you’re proud of her, aroused by her skills, and eager to see her reach her full potential in this lifestyle is beautiful. I hope that you’re able to enjoy DAP together with other partners, and maybe even go double anal only if you aren’t already!

ZB: I’m in a marriage that’s vaginal only and I crave anal. I’m incredibly aroused by reading all these posts. I don’t want to destroy my marriage, but I need to pursue my desires. Could I get some recommendations for online communities?

Thanks for sharing this, it’s a powerful and vulnerable place to be, and you’re not alone. Many people in long-term, traditional relationships find themselves discovering a deep craving for anal—especially anal only—later on. It can feel like a secret obsession, especially when your partner doesn’t share or understand that desire.

Craving anal doesn’t mean you’re betraying your partner. It means you’re uncovering an important part of your sexual identity that has long been overlooked or suppressed. The intensity of your arousal when reading posts or imagining anal scenarios is a sign that this isn’t just a passing kink. It’s something deeper. Something central. Whether you ultimately transition your marriage toward anal, you deserve space to understand what this means for you first.

As far as communities, check out our forums, Discord, and the Anal Only Lifestyle subreddit.

Tim: Hey, love the blog. I’ve been anal only for about a year now — I don’t masturbate any other way, I only play with my ass, and I’ve completely lost interest in using my cock for anything other than sex with my girlfriend. The problem is, she’s not anal only. She loves to play with my ass, and she enjoys getting anal herself and does it with me when I ask, but she still mostly wants vaginal sex and doesn’t seem interested in giving it up.

I don’t want to pressure her, but I also can’t stop thinking about how much better things would be if we were both anal only. The sex, the mindset, the clarity — it all feels lopsided right now. I love her, but I would love us both to be totally anal only and stop using her pussy.

Is it selfish to want her to go anal only too? Should I just accept this difference, or is it okay to expect more?

It’s not selfish to want your partner to share your values — especially when those values are shaping your identity, your arousal, and your sexuality. Anal only isn’t just a preference, it’s a lifestyle. A discipline. A mindset. A commitment. So it makes perfect sense that you’d want your girlfriend to embrace that with you.

Unfortunately, for many women vaginal is still the default — not because it’s better, but because it’s familiar, expected, and what society says is normal. Even though she embraces anal only for you, she may not fully understand what anal only could mean for herself yet.

The best thing you can do is stay grounded in your choice and be honest with her. Let her know this isn’t about control — it’s about alignment. That you’ve found something that brings you pleasure and satisfaction, and that you want to share that with her fully, not just occasionally. Frame it as a higher standard for the relationship, not a rejection of her.

If she’s interested, encourage her to try a week or month of anal only together and see what it’s really like to move past her pussy and focus just on anal pleasure for the both of you. If you make it through a month, chances are she’ll want to stay anal only going forward!

VickyAO: Hi, this might be a strange one, but I’ve been anal only for over many years now. I stopped using my vagina for anything, no penetration, no touching, not even during masturbation. I’ve noticed something interesting: I literally don’t feel anything anymore when I try to think about vaginal stimulation. Like, it’s just… nothing. No arousal, no mental association, no sensation. It feels like that part of me shut down.

I don’t miss it. I love how focused I am on my ass now. I can have intense, long-lasting anal orgasms without any clitoral or vaginal stimulation at all. It’s better than anything I ever had before.

But can a woman actually lose the ability to get arousal and orgasm from her vagina if she’s anal only long enough? Like, can the body unlearn that kind of arousal permanently? And if so, is that a bad thing? Or is it just the natural outcome of going fully anal only and never going back?

Thanks, just curious how far this can go.

Obviously this varies from woman to woman, but it’s absolutely something a lot of anal only women start to notice after a while. Vaginal arousal just starts to go away, and the vagina starts to become dry and inactive, no longer responding to being turned on or getting stimulated anally. You feel desire in your asshole instead, and it starts to relax and open up or even in some cases start to lubricate itself when you’re turned on.

It’s not a bad thing, it’s a natural progression and your body’s embrace of being anal only. You don’t need your vagina anymore, and it’s deactivating. Enjoy it!

Kayla: Hi, I’m 19 and just got into my first real relationship with a guy who really wants to have sex. I’ve never been on birth control, and my sisters have had bad luck with hormonal interactions, but I don’t want to get pregnant. My boyfriend suggested we have anal sex instead, and I found this blog about only having anal sex. Can I just go anal only as a way to not get pregnant? Is that actually safe? Is there anything else I need to know?

Yes, going anal only is absolutely a valid and effective way to avoid pregnancy. There’s no risk of pregnancy from anal sex itself, as long as semen doesn’t come into contact with your vagina — including indirectly from hands, toys, or accidental slipping. Many women choose anal only as their exclusive form of sex for exactly this reason, especially when they want to avoid hormonal birth control. It’s an ideal natural form of birth control!

It’s important to be clear with your partner about boundaries, and to use condoms or get tested to avoid risk of STIs, especially in a new relationship. If you stay anal only and keep your limits firm, it can be a safe and empowering way to have sex without risking pregnancy. You’re not alone in this choice — a lot of women find that it’s not just a workaround, but going anal only is something that they genuinely prefer.

In my teens and early twenties, I strictly denied any and all access to my ass. Today, I’m in my early thirties and live an anal only lifestyle. Rather than dwelling on the time I wasted in my youth, I’d like to offer up some advice I learned along the way. Perhaps it will help some young readers begin their anal only journey before I did. Better late than never though, in my case!

1. Anal Only Does Not Happen Overnight

This isn’t a flip-the-switch transition. Your body needs time to adjust, and so does your mindset. Anal only isn’t just avoiding vaginal sex — it’s creating a new default. You’ll need time to stretch, to relax, and to retrain your response to arousal. At first, it may feel like you’re trying something new. Eventually, it feels like you’ve come home.

Don’t rush. Don’t force yourself. You don’t need to take large toys, or jump to double anal right away. The most important thing is consistency — giving your ass regular attention, and always using it as your only outlet for penetration. Your body will adapt if you give it a reason to.

2. Set Clear Boundaries with Yourself First

Before you talk to a partner, you need to make the decision for yourself. That means closing the door to vaginal sex completely, even when you’re alone. No fingers, no toys, no what-if fantasies. If you’re serious about going anal only, you need to build that boundary into your own habits and desires first.

That clarity makes it much easier to communicate with others, because you’re not negotiating — you’re sharing a truth you’ve already accepted.

3. Don’t Wait for a Partner to Make It Happen

Too many women wait for the “right guy” before they commit to anal only. But the best time to start is before you’re with someone — or even if you’re single. When you go anal only on your own terms, you stop shaping yourself around what others expect, and start building a foundation that someone else can join you on.

You’ll feel more confident, more in control, and more attracted to partners who actually match what you want.

4. Use Tools and Training with a Purpose

Butt plugs, dilators, toys — they’re all helpful, but only if you use them intentionally. Start small and go slow, but stay regular. Daily or near-daily plug wear (even just 30 minutes at first) can do wonders for building flexibility and comfort.

Choose toys based on what your body can handle comfortably with a little stretch — not what looks impressive. And always listen to your body. Discomfort is a sign to pause, not push.

5. Emotional Shifts Take Time Too

I didn’t expect the emotional rewiring that came with this shift. It’s not just about sensation — it’s about changing how you relate to your body, your boundaries, and your idea of sex itself. Letting go of vaginal sex was surprisingly freeing, and it brought me a kind of calm I never expected. Sex is no longer tied to fear of pregnancy or unwanted expectation. It’s something I fully choose. Don’t be surprised if this shift brings up feelings you didn’t anticipate. That’s part of what makes it real.