Pam & Sam: I’ve been wanting to share some of my personal experiences and confirm a few things I’ve read here. I’m a woman, happily married with no kids, and over the last couple of years, my husband and I have discovered a fierce passion for the stag & vixen lifestyle.

Together, we dive into this wild world, exploring swinger clubs and tight-knit circles where we connect with other couples—and sometimes with multiple men. Sometimes my husband jumps right in, other times he prefers to watch me take full control. This dynamic has pulled us closer and added a deliciously raw edge to our relationship.

Not long ago, I took a bold leap from double penetration to double anal. At first, it was challenging, but it quickly became a game-changer. I never imagined we’d enjoy it this much. This new thrill lets me—and us—fully indulge in group sex action, and I won’t lie—I got hooked on double anal. Now, we’re enjoying it to the absolute fullest without me having to step into porn or expose myself publicly. It’s our private, dirty secret—and it feels fucking amazing.

He even wanted me—actually allowed me, call it what you want—to go solo with double anal while he watched a couple of times. He told me it was mind-blowing for him to see how I was completely owning all those men, stretching and filling my ass to the max. The way I mastered every inch had him utterly captivated. You can’t imagine how empowered and damn sexy I felt afterward. That raw, intense feeling of control and pleasure was intoxicating—pure power.

For us, this lifestyle is about personal growth and self-discovery, the thrill of voyeuristic and shared pleasure, and exploring sexual possibilities that keep our relationship vibrant and alive. It’s a journey that requires trust, communication, and openness, but the rewards are beyond worth it.

I hope sharing this encourages others who are curious or considering this path. Living boldly and loving freely has truly transformed us.

I love being a hotwife. There’s something wildly liberating about owning this role with my husband’s full support. Despite the steamy encounters with other men and couples, there are no romantic feelings involved—our love is exclusive, fierce, and rock solid.

Thanks so much for sharing, I’m glad that you’re enjoying this experience and have made the transition from DP to double anal. I hope that you are also embracing anal only as part of this transition and no longer use your vagina anymore. If you really enjoy DAP over time you may find yourself wanting to explore going double anal only!

Joslynn: I’m a trans woman and for about 2 years I’ve been trying to find the limit my ass can be stretched, almost every day. I can see I’ve definitely progressed, but I want it even looser. How do all the porn stars have such blown out assholes and are able to take huge toys, literally, 2 feet deep in their asses? How are they able to be very rapidly fisted? I know part of it is a lot of practice, but there has to be something else, right? What am I missing?

Thanks for your question, Joslynn, and for sharing your goals. What you’re describing is something a lot of people who are deep into anal play wonder at some point: what does it really take to reach those advanced levels of stretch, depth, and responsiveness? You’re right that consistent practice is a big part of it, but there are definitely other elements that go into what you’re seeing in extreme anal performers.

First, body type and anatomy matter. Some porn performers simply have a more naturally relaxed pelvic floor or rectal elasticity, which gives them an easier time going deeper or looser. Hormonal status, body size, and even connective tissue flexibility can all influence this. That doesn’t mean it’s unattainable — just that some people may progress more quickly.

Second, many of the stars who can take massive toys or hands rapidly have put in years of very specific training. Daily or near-daily play helps, but longer-duration stretching sessions (think 30–60 minutes minimum daily with large plugs or toys, often multiple hours a day) are often a key factor. Many performers use incremental toy sizing systems, work up slowly over time, and frequently revisit sizes they’ve already mastered to maintain openness.

You might also be seeing the effects of temporary gaping and preparation — often, stars warm up with trainers or hands well before filming. What you’re seeing on camera isn’t always just what their body can do “cold.” Some also use enemas or douches not just to clean but to soften and relax the lower rectum beforehand.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the mental side. A lot of what allows people to reach those extremes is a deep mental connection to submission, surrender, or accomplishment, and training your mind to associate big stretch with arousal, not fear.

You’re already doing a lot right. Keep listening to your body, celebrate your progress, and don’t rush pain or strain. Some of the deepest, most blown-out girls you see in porn got there over 5–10 years — and with plenty of trial and error. If you stay patient and intentional, you’ll keep making progress.

VanessaK: I had a baby last year and haven’t wanted vaginal since. Is it normal to feel more drawn to anal after giving birth? It just feels more intimate and tighter. Has anyone else made the switch post-pregnancy?

You are definitely not alone, a lot of women find that their interest in vaginal sex and vaginal arousal declines after giving birth. It’s the perfect time to make the switch to anal only, and really cements the idea that your vagina is only for giving birth and not for sex. Enjoy it, and stay anal only!

Anonymous: I’ve been lurking here for a while and finally decided to jump in because this place gave me the courage to speak up and maybe get some real advice.

I’m almost 30, pretty sexually experienced and adventurous. I’m currently in a relationship — stable, grown-up, and organized, just like I wanted. Before this, I was all over the place: multiple boyfriends, threesomes, and somewhere along the way, I discovered my absolute passion for anal sex. It’s become my biggest turn-on.

Now, here’s the thing. My boyfriend is super wealthy and spoils me in every way except in bed. He’s mostly into oral and vaginal, and no matter how much I try, he’s just not into anal. I’ve even tried to get him to experiment with it, but no luck. Meanwhile, I find myself masturbating to anal-heavy porn, recently even mostly double anal scenes — those drive me wild. I even catch myself daydreaming about being in those scenes, completely taken and stretched, and it’s honestly the hottest thing I can imagine. What’s wrong with me?

I’m seriously craving an anal-only sex life, but how do you convince him to open up to that? I’ve tried everything I can think of, but he’s just not there. And forget about double anal or group stuff — I don’t even know how to bring that up without killing the mood or freaking him out. Am I crazy for wanting this so badly? Should I just accept a stable but kind of boring sex life? Or… is it okay to explore this behind his back if he won’t meet me halfway? How do you balance wanting wild, kinky sex with wanting a steady relationship? Has anyone been stuck in this spot and figured out a way to have both? Or should I just end the relationship and look for what truly makes me happy?

I’m really torn and could use some honest advice.

Thank you for being so open. What you’re feeling isn’t “wrong” — it’s deeply human. It’s okay to crave more than what you’re currently getting, especially when you’ve discovered a part of your sexuality that brings you such intense, personal pleasure. Anal, and particularly anal only, can be deeply affirming, and wanting to share that with your partner isn’t selfish — it’s a desire for intimacy, connection, and mutual expression.

At the same time, your partner’s disinterest isn’t a personal failure either. People have limits and preferences, and while those can sometimes shift, they don’t always. The tough part is realizing that compatibility in a relationship isn’t just emotional or practical — it’s sexual too. And when there’s a deep mismatch, especially on something you’re passionate about, it can create a quiet ache over time, even if everything else seems stable.

You’re not crazy for wanting double anal or group sex, or even for fantasizing about it. You’re not broken. You’re a sexual person with vivid and evolving desires — that’s normal. But no matter how strong the craving, going behind your partner’s back isn’t the right move. It might offer a thrill, but at the cost of trust and long-term peace of mind. That doesn’t mean you’re trapped either. It just means the choice you make should come from clarity, not desperation.

If you haven’t already, try having an open, pressure-free conversation with your boyfriend. Not just about anal, but about what arousal means for you now — how it’s become core to your sense of self. He may not be willing to join you fully, but if he loves you, he’ll listen.

If he still can’t or won’t meet you partway — even just with a toy in a low-pressure setting — then you have to ask yourself: Is staying with him more important than living as your full sexual self? That’s not a decision anyone else can make for you.

Joel: Your post congratulating Vicky Sol was a great one! It’s important to thank all the anal focused stars. I’m a male porn star fan and I think a lot of them don’t get that kind of recognition. Of course we have to thank Giorgio Grandi. Without LegalPorno, 0% Pussy might have not existed! Some other ones are Mike Adriano who’s been anal heavy for years and now he has all these anal sites for great content. Markus Dupree has Vogov, not anal only, but it has anal in every video. Skip the pussy content, it’s some great ass fucking!

Absolutely agree — Giorgio Grandi and LegalPorno played a massive role in pioneering the “0% Pussy” concept and pushing the boundaries of what anal scenes could be. Mike Adriano deserves credit too, not just for his signature style but for building whole networks of anal-focused content that have inspired so many fans and performers alike even if they aren’t anal only. Even just having consistent anal in every scene and a strong anal focus is a step in the right direction, though we want to see fully anal only as the end goal!

Anal porn is an art form — and it’s the stars, crews, and fans who’ve helped it evolve into something deeply worthy of celebration. Let’s get more people committing to anal only.

Nthan: Me and my gf are engaging in semi-regular anal sex (she’s new to anal and we are taking it slow). She takes it well, but I really want to train her more, I want to stretch and gape her before we have anal sex. She likes to gape when we fuck, but shes dragging her feet with this and doesn’t engage when i try to talk to her.

I would appreciate some help to get her more in to it and also toys to use to stretch her out (i like hollow plugs, need to get one asap)

FYI – We still use her pussy, about 60/40 pussy to ass, trying to move in the right direction at a good pace

Your help please?

Thanks for sharing your question — it’s clear you’re enthusiastic about anal and excited to deepen the experience with your girlfriend. That’s great, and it sounds like you’re already making progress together. It’s important to remember that anal training, especially stretching and gaping, isn’t just physical — it’s emotional and psychological too. For many people, especially those newer to anal, it can take time to fully embrace the idea of training or making anal the primary focus.

You mentioned that she enjoys gaping when you’re having sex, which is a great sign — she’s already finding pleasure in the sensations and reactions of her body. What might be happening now is that she’s unsure how to approach more structured stretching, or she may be hesitant about what it means long term. Rather than pushing for training directly, try talking with her about what turns you on about seeing her open up, and invite her to share what she likes about anal so far. Keep it light and sexy — not pressure-filled — and center it around shared pleasure and intimacy, not just goals.

As far as toys, starting with medium-sized silicone plugs with longer necks can help her get used to deeper and more sustained stretch. Hollow plugs can be exciting visually and for warmup, but for comfort and daily training, a solid plug with a smooth taper may be better. You can also explore mutual play — try using toys together during foreplay or while watching porn, and make it feel fun and bonding rather than like a routine or a task.

Finally, since you’re still having a mix of vaginal and anal, it might help to agree on small, positive shifts rather than jumping to anal only immediately. Maybe you set aside one night a week that’s just for anal, or try taking a break from vaginal for a week as a sexy challenge. Focus on deepening your shared love for anal rather than eliminating other kinds of sex too fast. The more she associates anal with fun, connection, and affirmation, the more she’ll want to explore what her ass is capable of — for herself, not just for you.

Tim: My girlfriend is turned on by anal only in sexting. This was so HOT! Problem is that when we are physically together, we tend to have vaginal sex. And she is very aroused by this, and we have a great time. But I enjoy anal only. She is aroused like hell, and she make me aroused. Question is, how do I stop enjoying this? Because I want to. I just want to forget her pussy exist and want her to never think about vaginal ever again. I want her to be horny in her ass, and refuse her vagina. Where do I begin?

I’d like to add that we broke up recently, due to more factors leading us to separate. That she refused anal was one of them, but like all good relationships; sex isn’t all. But sex is one of the important parts of the chain. We broke up! But a week later, she came to a party I had, and I told her that she could be here with us and have a good time; she and I ended up leaving all the folks out and she and I had anal sex! I told her that’s exactly what I wanted. She was so aroused by the idea of being anal only. And I was so in love because I finally thought I’d meet my queen wife.

So we started dating again, and gradually we started having vaginal sex again.

I want this to end… I WANT and NEED our lives to be in truly vaginal rejection and living anal only. But she likes vaginal so much. And to be honest, I like the sex as well, since she is so sexy and attractive to me, but in the depth of my heart I want us both to commit to abandon vaginal play forever. This is the last straw for me, to kiss her pussy goodbye—to welcome her anus to be the real stuff.

What should I do?

Should I refuse to give her vaginal from now on? Ought I to be harder on her? She does not like masturbating without me being involved. Shall I be more strict, and enforce her to stop this “naughty vaginal play”?

Thanks for the message, it sounds like you both really enjoy anal and love the idea of being anal only but have had a hard time putting it into practice. That’s not unusual, quite a few people really want to embrace anal only and love the concept of it but find their old ways are easy to return to and end up going back to vaginal over and over again.

If you both share the desire for anal to be your main or only form of sex, the key is creating consistency, clarity, and arousal around that goal. Start with a clear agreement together, even if it’s temporary: a week, a month, or even just a single weekend of strictly anal only. Frame it not as a restriction but as an exciting experiment to deepen the pleasure, intimacy, and intensity you already feel when you’re focused only on her ass.

Help make anal more accessible and satisfying for her outside of sex, too. Daily or regular plug wear—even small at first—can help her body and mind stay in the anal zone. Try mutual masturbation where she only uses her ass while you talk about how hot it is that she’s keeping her pussy off-limits. If she’s open to it, you could even do playful denial or ceremony around not touching her pussy—create rituals or routines that build anticipation and make anal feel like the centerpiece it truly is.

Above all, keep your focus on arousal, not enforcement. The more she feels desired and empowered for her anal pleasure, the less she’ll crave anything else. If you can consistently make her feel like her ass is the most important, most loved, most hers part of her body—and reinforce that with practice, praise, and intimacy—it’ll become her new default. Over time, anal only won’t feel like a rule you’re both trying to follow; it’ll just feel like who you are together.

Obviously, if she enjoys control around keeping her pussy off limits, you could incorporate that as well, but embracing her arousal from anal and anal only is likely the most effective strategy.

Anonymous: Hi, I’ve been transitioning into the anal only lifestyle for a few months now. I’ve stopped having vaginal sex and only penetrate my ass for sex or masturbation, which has been an amazing change. I feel more connected to my body and much more focused when I orgasm.

But I still find myself drawn to clit stimulation when I masturbate, even though I know it doesn’t really fit with the anal only mindset. I don’t want to depend on it anymore, and I want to fully commit to anal orgasms only. How do I break the habit of going back to the clit, and retrain my body to respond only through my ass?

Thanks for everything you do — this blog has helped me more than I can say.

If you haven’t already, I recommend checking out our Benefits to Avoiding Clit Stimulation During Anal Sex page in our Guide, it details a lot of what you’ve already mentioned but also goes into detail about how to stop using your clit.

It makes total sense that you want to move past clitoral dependence and focus on pure anal stimulation and pleasure instead, and I commend you for wanting to take that step. It will only deepen your enjoyment and your commitment to the anal only lifestyle.

It sounds like this is mostly an issue for you when you masturbate, not when you have sex. If you’re able to focus on the anal pleasure during sex, I encourage working on shifting your thoughts to your ass when masturbating as well. If you’re just casually playing with yourself and fingering your ass and feel tempted to rub, take the opportunity to focus more on your ass and switch to something more active like a dildo. The increased penetration and sensation will help you away from your clit. Whenever you feel the urge to touch your pussy, increase your anal intensity instead. Use that urge to redirect attention to your ass.

If you still find it hard to ignore, try covering it with tape when masturbating, or using a topical anesthetic like orajel to temporarily numb your clit. A physical barrier or numbing can work very well to train you away from it because even if you’re tempted to touch, it won’t deliver any sensation — and your attention will return to where it belongs. Over time, your body will adapt. The clit will fade from your awareness, and your ass will take over fully.

Anonymous: My girlfriend is incredibly skilled and passionate about anal fisting and double anal — I’m so proud of her and love bragging about her talents to trusted circles. I fantasize about her showing off those skills in some good, hard gangbangs or intense group sessions, really owning her sexuality.

She was raised Christian and, while she’s not deeply religious anymore, the idea of actually engaging in group sex still feels like a heavy conflict for her. This creates tension between my desire to see her fully express herself and her lingering reservations.

Am I okay wanting her to move on to real-life double anal experiences with others, even if it challenges her comfort zone?

It’s completely okay for you to want that. Fantasizing about your partner being fully used, admired, and celebrated for her abilities—especially when she’s as talented and passionate about anal fisting and DAP as you describe—is a natural extension of your pride, arousal, and deep admiration for her. There’s nothing wrong with craving that next level of intensity, or even feeling like it would unlock something deeper in both of you. That’s part of the anal only mindset: wanting to go further, stretch wider, and be even more fully shared.

At the same time, her background and concerns matter too. Even if she no longer holds strict religious beliefs, years of internalized messages don’t just disappear. Group sex, especially in the context of showcasing her body and talents, can feel like a direct challenge to everything she was taught to suppress or avoid. That doesn’t mean she’ll never move in that direction, but it does mean she may need time, space, and the right framing to get there.

Instead of pushing her toward a decision, consider framing it as a shared evolution. Not “I want you to do this,” but “I love how you’ve embraced anal and DAP, and I can’t stop imagining how powerful it would be to see you fully celebrated in that way. Not because I need it to happen, but because it excites me to think of you being admired and filled and stretched for others the way I already admire and desire you.” Let her feel how much this comes from love and erotic awe, not pressure.

So yes, wanting it is okay. Even if it never happens exactly the way you imagine, the fact that you’re proud of her, aroused by her skills, and eager to see her reach her full potential in this lifestyle is beautiful. I hope that you’re able to enjoy DAP together with other partners, and maybe even go double anal only if you aren’t already!

ZB: I’m in a marriage that’s vaginal only and I crave anal. I’m incredibly aroused by reading all these posts. I don’t want to destroy my marriage, but I need to pursue my desires. Could I get some recommendations for online communities?

Thanks for sharing this, it’s a powerful and vulnerable place to be, and you’re not alone. Many people in long-term, traditional relationships find themselves discovering a deep craving for anal—especially anal only—later on. It can feel like a secret obsession, especially when your partner doesn’t share or understand that desire.

Craving anal doesn’t mean you’re betraying your partner. It means you’re uncovering an important part of your sexual identity that has long been overlooked or suppressed. The intensity of your arousal when reading posts or imagining anal scenarios is a sign that this isn’t just a passing kink. It’s something deeper. Something central. Whether you ultimately transition your marriage toward anal, you deserve space to understand what this means for you first.

As far as communities, check out our forums, Discord, and the Anal Only Lifestyle subreddit.