This blog is built on real experiences—yours. Every journey into anal only is unique, and every story helps someone else feel less alone, more inspired, or more determined to follow their own path.

Whether you’ve just started your AO journey or you’ve been living it for years, we want to hear from you.

What You Can Share

• Milestones – Your first plug, your first AO attempt or anniversary, your first DAP experience.
• Training Journeys – How you’ve built up your stretch, endurance, or discipline.
• Lifestyle Moments – How you navigate AO in a relationship, at work, while traveling, or in daily life.
• Challenges & Setbacks – Times you struggled to stay committed and how you got back on track.
• Unique Perspectives – Sharing AO with others, choosing DAP from the start, or redefining intimacy without pussy or clit play.

Just visit our Ask page and send us a message!

E: I used to think double anal was just a porn fantasy—something that looked hot but wasn’t realistic for me. Then a friend shared one of your DAP training posts, and I decided to give it a try.

It’s taken me 8 months of consistent work, but last week, I took my boyfriend and our housemate up my ass together for the first time. I cried afterwards, in a good way. It felt so good and so rewarding and we all want to keep doing it and I’m starting to think DAO might be my end goal, not just an occasional treat.

That’s so awesome to hear, truly. I hope you continue to enjoy it regularly—within a month or two it’s likely that you could be doing DAP every time you have sex. Listen to your body and stay in communication with the guys, but you’re all going to be loving this!

Davie: I’m 19 and I love anal! I’ve had sex a few times and anal is by far the best. Wish I could have more sex without pussy, but most people aren’t into it. Whenever I bring it up with my bros, they say it’s gay. Is loving anal really gay? What’s wrong with being a guy that loves anal only?

Thank you for reaching out, and I’m glad you’re discovering what you truly enjoy early on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a guy who loves anal only. You’ve even tried both and you know anal feels better.

Unfortunately, while we’ve made a lot of progress away from it, a lot of guys still cling to this idea that anal is “gay,” as if any kind of sex involving the ass is somehow gay because gay men often do it. Never mind that both women and men have buttholes! That’s insecurity talking, not logic. Do they think blowjobs are gay too?

If you’re a man who enjoys anal sex with women and prefers it over vaginal sex, that’s not gay. That’s just your taste. Just like some people love giving head or using toys or only doing it in certain positions, many—most—guys prefer the way it feels to fuck a woman’s ass.

Keep owning what you prefer, and find women who share that preference and will go anal only with you. It’s well worth it to stop fucking pussy altogether.

Rafael: Hello, thank you for your blog. It has a lot of useful information and interesting user messages. I’m a gay male, mid-30s, bottom exclusive. After reading your double anal article, I wanted to try it out. My first attempt with dildos wasn’t successful, it felt awkward and difficult to achieve penetration, so I decided to change tactics.

I presented your blog to my boyfriend, let’s call him John, and he liked reading it as much as I did.
Then, I suggested John to use one of my dildos along with his penis. He accepted and we tried the next day. I was pushed to my limits and it was a bit painful, a similar pain that I felt when I was new to anal.
John was very helpful and patient, he gave me all the time I wanted, even if it meant only oral for the night. After many tries, I managed to take both John and the dildo at the same time.

And I have to say you are right. The feeling was incredibly intense! I was stretched to my limits but in a good way. I’m used to having prostate orgasms and didn’t have one that time but the effects were as powerful in different ways. I’ve heard about a type of anal orgasm that is focused on the sphincter and rectum, maybe it was that.

After that night, I wanted to go for the true double anal experience but there were problems. John and I are monogamous, we’ve been together for more than 5 years and we’ve never cheated on each other.
When I suggested having another man for double anal, John was uncomfortable. We talked a lot about it and I think he’s feeling insecure about his size since I enjoyed DAP a little bit too much. He even commented about the size of one of my dildos, something he never did before.

Here’s the thing, I love John. He’s a great partner and amazing in bed. I often have prostate orgasms with him. I’m now feeling guilty. Our life outside the bedroom is going strong but the sex now is less intense. There wasn’t another double anal night ever since my suggestion. I kinda don’t know what to do and want to hear your opinion about this.

It’s great that you were able to experience DAP together—even using a dildo, that’s a huge milestone, especially as a first time. The fact that it triggered something new in you doesn’t mean you’ve outgrown what you have, or that you don’t enjoy sex with your partner. Double anal is a type of stimulation that can’t be replicated with just one penis or dildo, it’s a unique sensation and experience that requires multiple dildos, partners, or a combination thereof.

It also makes perfect sense that John might feel insecure or hesitant. When a partner sees you crave something that they alone can’t physically give, it can stir up feelings of inadequacy—even if they’re totally unfounded. That doesn’t mean he isn’t enough. It means he’s human. The best thing you can do now is help him feel chosen again. Let him know how much that DAP night meant because it was with him, not in spite of it. Remind him how you trust him to take you to your edge safely, and how no toy or fantasy can replace the connection you have.

As for involving another man—it’s okay that the idea was hard for him. But it doesn’t have to be off the table forever. You’ve already laid the foundation by being honest. What matters now is showing him that this isn’t about replacing or comparing—it’s about exploring something you want to share. You can keep the door open gently. Maybe frame it less as “bringing someone in” and more as “experiencing something together that we couldn’t otherwise do.” Let him feel like it’s an adventure you’re inviting him on—not a compromise he has to make.

In the meantime, you don’t have to give up DAP entirely. Keep training. Try dual toys again now that you’ve done it with him. Keep your body open and engaged. And most of all, keep celebrating what you and John already have. This doesn’t have to be a roadblock—it can be the beginning of something even deeper between you.

L: I’m 23, and I’ve never had sex. For a long time I felt like I was behind and really missing out, but more recently as I’ve learned more about anal only I’m actually glad that I didn’t have vaginal sex and lose my virginity with my pussy. I’ve been reading a lot, watching a lot of anal porn, and masturbating anally and I want to make my first time really special and train myself to be able to have double anal sex to lose my virginity and hopefully if it goes well, stay double anal only. I think it would be really fitting, not to mention exciting, to have saved myself for something special like this.

I’ve been wearing a butt plug most days, going bigger every month or so, and I’ve been masturbating with dildos a lot. I found I really like the feeling of a big stretch which is a good sign I suppose, and I’ve started using two dildos within a few minutes most sessions. Is there any advice you can give me to be ready to go straight to DAP the very first time without needing to warm up? And of course, how I can meet guys who are interested in DAP and who would be good to have sex with the first time?

I love your take on that, not missing out by not having sex, but saving yourself for the right thing. And I fully support and encourage your desire to go straight to double anal. You’re doing exactly the right things with your training and practice for it. Keep it up, work up to larger dildos until you’re at or exceeding average penis thickness every time you train, and start practicing trying to penetrate with both dildos together at the same time. You’ll get there, and once you can do that every day, you’re ready.

Finding two guys to lose your virginity to might be the harder thing, but it’s very doable. If you have two close male friends you could bring it up to them, or you could seek out people in a group sex lifestyle and see if anyone is interested. Men experienced with double anal would be best, but even just those who are open to or experienced with group sex could be quickly adapted to DAP. Just be clear you want it to be double anal only, no single anal, no vaginal, and set those ground rules immediately from the start.

Riley: I’ve been doing anal only for almost two years and recently started experimenting with double anal with my husband and his close friend. When it works, it’s absolutely incredible—stretching, overwhelming, intimate, and deeply fulfilling in a way I didn’t expect. But I’ve also had sessions where my body just wouldn’t take it, or I ended up too sore to keep up my plug routine afterward.

We really want DAP to be a regular part of our life. Not just an occasional treat, but a foundation. But I also don’t want to risk setbacks or burnout. Do you have any advice on how to build up the stamina and flexibility to make double anal sustainable, not just possible? I’m all in—I just want to do it smartly.

It’s amazing to hear how much DAP is already positively affecting you both emotionally and physically. It really is an amazing thing when it goes well. If you want to start doing it more regularly or even go double anal only, you’ve got to get to where it works easily all the time, not just sometimes.

Double anal demands more from your body than single anal, and it takes time to adapt to that, especially when you’re doing it regularly. You need to build up to where you can take two cocks at a moment’s notice with ease.

I suggest more regular plug wear in between sessions, especially focusing on larger plugs with thicker necks to keep your stretch active. Masturbate/train regularly with two dildos, or a large single dildo, so that you continue getting used to the more active penetration of two cocks in your ass together. When it’s just your boyfriend, you can use a dildo alongside his cock to stay warmed up for double anal.

After sessions, use aloe vera gel (make sure it’s pure aloe vera and not mixed with alcohol or other additives that may be harmful for anal use) on your anus and rectum to sooth it and help it recover.

Gradually increase the frequency and over the course of a month or two you should be where you can do double anal every time you have sex!

Anonymous: I’ve been anal only for a little over five years now. I stopped all vaginal contact gradually at first, and then fully. No penetration, no touching, no clit play. I barely even think about it anymore except to clean and groom it, and when I’m on my period… which is just a negative association, anyway. I stay plugged most days, and anal sex is the only kind of sex I have or want. At this point, my body responds entirely through my butthole. When I’m horny, I feel it there. When I climax, it’s anal only. I don’t miss my pussy. I don’t even consider it.

But recently I caught myself wondering something strange: if I never use my pussy, if I don’t touch it, don’t want it, don’t let others near it, is it still part of my sexual identity as a woman at all? I know it’s technically still there, obviously, but it’s not involved. It feels more like a closed door I never walk through anymore, or a room I’ve boarded up entirely.

I don’t feel broken or ashamed, I feel better than I ever did and more rooted in my identity and preferences. But it still sometimes catches me off guard how irrelevant that whole part of my body feels now. Like it’s disconnected from the rest of my experience. Like it’s no longer mine.

Has anyone else felt this? Does your pussy just stop counting after a while?

Congratulations on five years anal only! At that point, I think most women end up feeling similar. They have a pussy, it’s part of their body, they may like the aesthetics of it and still try to keep it pretty and decorative, but that’s about all the function it serves at this point. They don’t consider it a sexual part of their body at all, beyond aesthetics and perhaps a sign of arousal if it still gets wet (though it often doesn’t always show arousal in that way anymore either). This is a good, natural, healthy part of the long-term transition to anal only and should be celebrated!

Eva: I’m single and want to stay anal only and not use my pussy at all. But it feels awkward to bring up to new partners — some think I’m joking or fetishizing. How do you bring up anal only while dating without scaring people off?

This is such a great question, and one a lot of single anal only women deal with, even if they don’t talk about it openly. First off, you’re not wrong to want what you want. Wanting to be anal only—even as a single woman—is completely valid, and it doesn’t mean you’re joking, performing, or fetishizing anything. It just means you know your body and your boundaries. That should be respected, not questioned.

When it comes to bringing it up while dating, the key is confidence. You don’t have to dump it on someone in the first five minutes, but you also shouldn’t feel like you need to apologize or tiptoe around it. Once things start moving toward physical or emotional intimacy, be direct: “I just want to be clear early on—I’m anal only. I don’t use my pussy at all, and it’s not something I’m open to. If that’s not for you, I totally understand, but it’s important to me.”

Saying it plainly—not defensively—usually does more to disarm than over-explaining. You’re not being extreme. You’re being honest. Some people will be confused or surprised, and that’s okay. It’s not your job to make them instantly understand—it’s your job to hold your line.

The ones who get it (and they are out there) will respect you more for being clear and committed. And the ones who don’t? They were never right for you anyway.

Anal only isn’t just a preference—it’s a part of who you are. You’re not asking too much. You’re offering something beautiful. Anyone lucky enough to be with you should understand that.

And if they don’t, move along—plugged and proud.

Ronald: We’ve been anal only for almost two years and love it, but when my wife’s sister found out, she made it a whole thing and said we were depraved. How do you deal with judgment from family?

Good for you and your wife. Two years of anal only is something to be proud of, and I’m glad to hear you’re both loving it. Keep it up, and don’t look back!

Unfortunately, judgment from family—especially when they don’t understand what anal only really means—isn’t uncommon. People tend to react harshly to things that challenge their assumptions, especially around sex. And when it comes from someone close like a sister, it can feel even more personal.

The truth is, choosing anal only isn’t depraved. It’s healthy, natural, intentional and intimate. You know that, because you’ve been living it for the last two years. It’s about connection, trust, and a shared sense of purpose between two people who know what they want. There’s nothing shameful about that. If anything, it’s something most couples could learn from—setting boundaries, committing to each other’s pleasure, and not just doing what’s expected by default.

When it comes to dealing with judgment, the best approach is calm confidence. You don’t need to argue or justify your choices. You can simply say, “This is what works for us, and we’re happy.” That’s often more disarming than trying to convince someone who’s reacting from a place of discomfort or ignorance.

You don’t owe her any further explanation if you don’t want to discuss it more, but if you’d like her to see your side, try to talk about all the positives and why it’s such a good experience for the both of you. Maybe she’ll back off, or maybe she’ll even become curious and want to learn more or try it herself. Those who are most outspoken against anal often are those who are secretly interested in it.

Anonymous: My boyfriend and I have been together three years, and we’re monogamous. We always do anal but never really thought about calling it ‘anal only.’ Is AO something that applies to gay men too?

Yes—anal only absolutely applies to gay men. In many ways, gay couples like yourselves have been quietly embodying the lifestyle long before it had a name.

Anal only isn’t about gender. It’s about commitment to anal sex as the primary form of penetration, intimacy, and release. With no pussy, there’s no distraction. Just the butthole, always and only.

For straight couples it can often take on an aspect of vaginal denial and rejection since there is that choice, while for gay men it can be more about a celebration of the inevitability of anal. Some bottoms choose to reject touching or using their penis and exclusively receiving anal and giving oral, but that can vary from person to person.