For more information about meeting new partners and dating in the anal only lifestyle, as well as everything else relating to anal sex and going anal only, check out our Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle.

A woman suffering from vaginismus, a medical condition which makes vaginal sex painful for her, wonders about what guys think about this and whether it would prevent them from being interested in dating her if they could only do anal and not vaginal.

I have a condition called vaginismus that basically means having sex in my p-ssy is very painful for me. Penises, fingers, even tampons – putting anything in there hurts too much. My vagina spasms involuntarily and it gets too painful for me to enjoy it. I’ve seen my doctor about it but so far none of the treatments have helped much.

With my ex, I would instead do BJs and let him do me anal while playing with my clit. He liked it, but I’m worried that other guys won’t be the same. What do you think? Could you date a girl who wouldn’t let you in the front door?

She gets plenty of reassurance that this wouldn’t be a problem for most men, that relationships are about far more than purely sex, that they would do whatever she needed to best enjoy herself sexually, and that in fact many men greatly prefer anal sex themselves and consider an anal only partner to be a dream girl and they wish more girls would go anal only like her. This response fairly well sums things up:

Most guys would do anything to have an anal only girlfriend. I can’t imagine it being a problem for very many men at all.

In recent years it has become more acceptable to admit a love of or preference for anal sex, and the truth is that the anus gives much more pleasure to a guy than a vagina. The vagina is, therefore, very much over-rated.

So, to be in an anal-only relationship is a wonderful and fulfilling experience – very intimate, very satisfying. Such relationships are usually strong and trusting, forming a close bond. So it is a win-win.

Continue Reading on the Topix Forums [archive link].

Anonymous: I’ve never heard of this lifestyle before. All the same I’m very curious. Is it common? How do you meet others who want this same lifestyle? What made people choose this? Never tried anal so I’m just trying to understand the appeal. Is it really that much better people will give up vaginal forever???

It’s not extremely common, but it is growing as the stigmas around anal sex are fading. While many people love vaginal sex, there are many others of both genders who find anal to be more enjoyable.

Everyone is built differently, and some women have their pleasure center in their clitoris, while others have it in their vagina, and still others in their rectum. Many women cannot orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone and require clitoral stimulation—in this case, replacing vaginal penetration with anal penetration can sometimes make the clitoral orgasm even stronger. Other women can orgasm from anal penetration alone, without clitoral stimulation, while vaginal penetration did not do much for them. These women are more likely to prefer anal and be willing to have purely anal sex if they can find a partner who will do the same.

It can be difficult to express such a desire, not knowing the preferences of others, and fearing ostracization, and so people of both genders who are interested in such a lifestyle do not always tell their partner. Being open to new experiences and possibilities and not negatively judging people for their desires has and will continue to allow more people to enjoy this lifestyle.

Anonymous: Hi I just recently started dating this lovely guy and I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of freak as I’m really into anal sex, whereas I don’t think he’s at all experienced in that way. It’s the truth when I say I’d be very happy with mostly anal sex (and plenty of oral too). I know most guy’s are supposed to love it but I worry he’ll think I’m obsessed in a weird way and blow the whole thing. On the other hand it’ll be tough if I can’t meet my own needs. How should I handle this?

If you’re unsure what his opinion is on it, but don’t want to give yours away up front, try broaching the subject slowly.

You can initially express your interest in anal passively by wearing a butt plug during oral and vaginal sex—this, in addition to providing you with a form of anal pleasure, demonstrates your like for it without him having to be directly involved. Similarly, if you ever masturbate in front of each other, you could use a dildo up your ass instead of your pussy.

If that doesn’t turn him off, or better yet if it interests and excites him, talk with him. Tell him you really enjoy anal play and anal sex and would like to share it with him. Don’t necessarily say you prefer it up front, just ease into it. A lot of men do love it, or if they haven’t had it yet would jump at the opportunity to experience anal, but not everyone does and so it’s best to take things slowly.

If he’s receptive to anal, guide him through the process of pleasuring you anally and begin to incorporate it into your sex life, occasionally at first and more if he enjoys it. One way many couples who enjoy frequent anal end up is starting each session vaginally and finishing anally. This is an approach you could try once you’ve had anal successfully a few times, if he’s receptive—midway through vaginal sex, ask him to switch to your ass. Just make sure he knows not to go ass-to-pussy.

From there, if he enjoys having frequent (or at least semi-frequent) anal with you, you can try some of the other approaches mentioned here. Plan a special sexy weekend and reiterate how much you love anal and how good it makes you feel and tell him you want him to only fuck you in the ass all weekend. If it’s a hit, do it again sometime, and then try it for longer. Ultimately, if he stays enthusiastic about the idea, tell him you prefer anal and would be happy just having anal all or most of the time because it just feels better to you, and asking if he’d be okay with that.

I understand not wanting to jeopardize a relationship that otherwise you enjoy very much, and I think that’s why it’s good to remain cautious about it. But ultimately you have to decide whether your need for anal sex is important enough that you need it to be a part of any relationship (and there’s nothing wrong if it is).

There is one other possibility—the two of you can use Mojo Upgrade to discover each other’s interests without revealing incompatible ones. Each of you lists your sexual fantasies, fetishes and interests, and if you both list the same ones, it reveals that the other is interested in them as well, but if only one of you does, the other doesn’t see. It covers all sorts of fantasies, but has an entire section on anal sex and play.

On the level of the “feel” of anal, a woman is tighter and has more muscular control, and she often experiences being penetrated in her anus the way guys wished that they did when he sexes her VJ. Most girls will act so much more submissive in anal than they will in vaginal. A guy is free to cum and not worry about getting his girl pregnant, which has always been one of the big reasons for this. Girls often find that anal sex helps them with their regularity….which guys rarely know much about…..but that’s a big plus for the girls.

Source: Do men like anal sex over vaginal sex?

This is the question asked by a young woman who wants to get an idea how different men feel about anal sex.

One man answers honestly:

Anal all the way! Sure it’s dirty, but when you are in a long term relationship and you’ve done the routine things for many years, anal will be better than a good blowjob. With anal, I can stay hard for 3+ hours. Why is it better? Its tighter, it’s warmer, has more texture and if your wife is relaxed, you can go much deeper.

Anal sex is often the best way to go in a long term relationship, where both partners know and understand each other. In time, as they get used to it many couples find themselves drifting more towards anal only.

Of course not everyone is the same but most men have very positive feelings about anal sex. Women should not be alarmed by this, and indeed many feel proud that they are the source of such pleasure and desire and embrace this side of their sexuality.

Anonymous: I wrote in yesterday about my gf not wanting an “anal only” lifestyle. I have to say thanks for your suggestions. I approached her with the idea of anal only during the month of August, as you suggested, and to my surprise, she agreed. That is a big step for her.

I’m glad to hear it!

I try vaginal once in a while, but anal is still much better. The sphincter is tighter and the sensation inside the anus is much more intense for me. I am totally okay with anal farting because that’s caused by me pumping away. Same goes for any residual poop or slight mess :>)…I don’t do vag sex after I’ve started anal sex. I am an average 6″, and when we are in the spooning position, I can tell you I am in heaven when I am fully inside her. Since I’ve been doing anal with my wife, I can manipulate my penis all the way inside, gently into her colon and she doesn’t feel pain.

Source: Do men like anal sex over vaginal sex?

Anonymous: What do you think about butt-plugs? I’ve been thinking about getting one for my wife, but what size is recommended? And should they be left in just for a while before anal sex or left in most of the day for best results? Will it make much difference if thinking about getting her to make anal sex what we do most of the time? Thanks in advance for your help.

Butt plugs are amazing. She should probably be at least slightly familiar with anal play before using one—a finger or two up the butt during oral sex, and the like. If she can already take two or three fingers (or a penis) fairly comfortably, you should get about a 1.5″ diameter plug like the Tantus Ryder. There are smaller ones as well, but they don’t stay in very well, so I like 1.5″ as a minimum size. Always go for silicone, glass or steel—the other materials aren’t body safe and smell awful, even though they’re usually a bit cheaper.

You can do all sorts of fun things with butt plugs. She can wear it during oral and vaginal sex, or in preparation for anal sex. Wearing it around the house or out in public is a lot of fun as well if you enjoy the sensation of being filled anally and feel like being naughty wearing one in public.

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. Anal has always been an important part of our relationship. However, when I recently told her I want anal only, she was very upset and insists we keep doing vaginal as well. I suggested we use toys for her vaginal needs, but she still wont consider it. I love my gf but her close-mindedness is jeopardizing our relationship. Any suggestions for overcoming her fear and ignorance about anal only?

All involved parties need to desire an anal only relationship in order for it to work. All I can suggest is to focus on making sure it’s especially pleasurable for her when you have anal. Rub her clit during anal, and use fingers or a toy up her ass while you (frequently) eat her out.

Try asking if she’ll do shorter stretches of anal only, over a weekend, or for a week. Or, this next month (August), which is National Anal Sex Month, ask if she’ll try having nothing but anal with you for the duration in celebration of that month.

Once you and your partner have become comfortable with regular anal sex there are some different techniques you may want to try.

Some of these may even be beneficial if you are considering going anal only and wish to enhance your lovemaking.

The article includes this useful tip:

Don’t always use the bedroom. With practice and repetition, you may find you don’t need to go through as much preparation for anal sex. Some women, with a fair amount of experience, find they only need to apply some lubrication to their partner’s penis and they are ready. Keep small packets of lubricant on you at all times since you never know when your partner may want to “bend you over.”

For it really is a myth that anal sex requires that much more preparation time or is in any way more difficult to perform. The rectum is generally clear and clean, and even without ‘proper’ lube even saliva is sufficient for a woman to admit her lovers penis should the situation demand it. You really can have anal sex any time, anywhere, just as you would have done vaginally.