Hi, everyone. My name is Daiane, I’m 25 years old and today marks my Anal Only Lifestyle third anniversary. On October 6th, 2016, I decided to tell my boyfriend at the time I was going to stop having vaginal altogether and switch exclusively to anal sex. Some of the reasons that led me to this decision:

I am one of the unlucky ones who are severely allergic to birth control pills. Doesn’t matter what brand I take or how many doctors I talk to, I will always get severe side effects from taking the pill. They are so bad they would pretty much make me prefer not to have sex.

Men simply do not like using condoms, period. Neither my tinder hookups, neither boyfriends liked the rubber. I would give them extra thin ones I bought myself and they would still not have a good time wearing them.

Before switching to anal sex, I had had two close pregnancy calls and I don’t ever want to go through that again. The first time me and my boyfriend were a bit drunk having sex and only 24 hours after we had sex I noticed the condom had ruptured. The second time I really was irresponsible and didn’t care, but I eventually had my period and everything worked out.

I actually like anal sex. I like the pain that comes with it, I like the taboo, I like the domination aspect of anal sex and I like that my boyfriend likes it.

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So you want to try anal sex. That’s great! Anal play can be lots of fun — if you’re ready for it. Unlike other types of sex, which most people can fumble their way through when they don’t have much experience, anal sex takes some research. (And, to be clear, it’s always better to think and talk through any new sexual experience before you try it with a partner).

But you can’t just slide into anal sex (unless you’re using plenty of lube…but more on that later). If you don’t know what you’re doing and you aren’t careful, you could hurt yourself or your partner because the anus is sensitive. “Contrary to what many believe, anal sex does not have to be painful (unless people engaging in it want it to be),” says Dulcinea Pitagora, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor. So before you give anal a try, read our tips about how to prep, both physically and mentally.

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Sex during pregnancy is highly individual. Some people experience higher libidos when pregnant, some have lower libidos, and some don’t see much of a change. If you do want to have sex during pregnancy, it’s safe, unless your doctor tells you otherwise. And that includes anal sex. So if you usually enjoy backdoor play, there’s no reason to stop having while pregnant.

“Anal sex while pregnant can be completely safe and enjoyable,” says Jennifer Driver, sex educator State Policy Director at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS). “However, as with any sexual activity (pregnant or not), there are things to consider before engaging. For example, it is important to be aware of and clearly communicate comfort levels, express what is enjoyable and what is not, and have an understanding of both your own and your partner’s STI status.” As always with anal sex, you should use lube and be sure to clean the penis or sex toy — or change condoms — between anal sex and vaginal sex to avoid transferring bacteria.

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A discussion on the use of douching and enemas from the Anal Only Lifestyle forum:

I love anal sex, and I never douched. However, I also never did ass to mouth and if my guys ever ended up with shit on their dicks, they never told me.

If you want to do ass to mouth, do you HAVE to douche? I feel like douching is actually more harmful for the bowels, because you’re messing with the natural flora in there, removing the natural protective coating of the intestine, and making the whole place more vulnerable to damage and infection. Plus, it’s a PITA to do an enema every time you have anal, especially daily. I anally masturbate and I still never had shit appear on my toys (but I also don’t masturbate if my stomach is not feeling good).

Isn’t there a way to keep it clean down there otherwise? Maybe a better diet that’s healthier for your body as well (which correlates with your cleanliness down there), and I feel like maybe even more frequent anal sex will help keep you clean down there as well thanks to the stimulation, eventual ability to control and know your body, and because your body gets used to anal.

Is there something I am missing or am I too optimistic about how clean our asses actually are?

throwawaymedfree, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

I think it’d be a good idea to masturbate with a similar cock-sized dildo and experiment. Pull it out without douching and take a good look and sniff at it. If it’s not visibly dirty, then you really don’t have to douche for that length. 

There are some women who’s philosophy for ass to mouth is to never douche simply because they do it so often and actually love the taste of their natural ass juice. Douching daily would definitely mess up your intestinal tract. Sucking cock out of your ass on a daily basis in my opinion wouldn’t be harmful since over time your body would adjust to whatever bacteria you’re body already has. It’s why couples that practice ass to mouth regularly keep doing it. Otherwise they would stop if there was any infection or sickness. I had yet to hear of a single case of it. If anything, her ass wasn’t healthy (not eating enough fiber, for example) and in that case, douching prior to anal would be a good idea.

hasani2222, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

I agree. My wife rarely douches and she never hesitates to go down on my cock after it’s been in her ass. Ass to mouth serves to stimulate her arousal more. Stopping to sniff and inspect it would break the flow of things. She’s never had a single issue from doing it either.

LuvMyWifesAss, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

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Anonymous: I was fingering a woman (in the ass of course) and poop mixed with lube came out and messed up the bed sheets. Whose fault was it?

That was no one’s fault. Accidents happen sometimes, and it’s not a blame game. Instead of trying to decide who’s at fault, laugh it off and if you want to avoid it going forward, take a look at our guide to hygiene for anal sex and play.

Even within the anal only lifestyle, ass to mouth can be an act of some contention. While increasingly popular, there are still those who fear that it will taste bad or see it as something dirty or degrading. And though it can be incorporated into play in that manner if so desired, it’s anything but when done right.

Ass to Mouth is Intimate & Loving

In much the same way as with shifting to primarily or exclusively having anal sex, couples who have incorporated ass to mouth as a regular part of their sexual routine frequently talk about the increase in intimacy that results from it. Because it requires mutual trust between partners, just as anal sex does, and because it shows an openness with one’s body both with oneself and sharing with a partner, it can be a powerful act that brings people closer together.

Ass to Mouth is Sexy

That same openness that leads to an increase in intimacy is sexy and attractive. Both partners can find ass to mouth to be a very sexy act—it’s a delight to switch from anal sex to oral sex without getting out of the moment by “cleaning” first, and just going for it. As before, it’s an acceptance of sex and each other’s bodies and that makes everything sexier and better for everyone. The fact that it’s still somewhat of a taboo can also be exciting for some, and some women find they get off on the idea itself, with a few even orgasming from going ass to mouth.

Ass to Mouth Tastes Good

Despite the misconception that anal sex and ass to mouth always smells or tastes bad, the reality is that a clean anus and rectum will actually taste incredible, if it tastes like anything at all. With proper hygiene, bad tastes or smells just aren’t going to be a factor, with a sort of earthy flavor that’s quite pleasant—and many people find that it can actually be subtly sweet as well. Developing cravings for the taste and wanting it frequently is not at all uncommon. So if you’re wondering what ass to mouth tastes like, stop wondering and give it a try. Chances are you’ll really like it.

Ass to Mouth is Addictive

The more you do it, the more you want it, both for the act and the taste, and women who do it often report developing a compulsion and craving for it, which in turn boosts their arousal and cravings for anal sex as well, leading to good times all around for everyone.

So, start doing ass to mouth if you aren’t already. You won’t know what you’re missing until you try it. And while you’re there, if you haven’t yet done so, try going anal only too!

Myself and my girlfriend do anal sex sometimes, but only sometimes. One of the main reason for this is because although its pleasurable and kinky its a lot of hassle; prepping, lubing, covering the bed and showering immediately after. If i were gay i dont think i would do anal sex much because it often doesnt seem worth the hassle as opposed to oral sex which although less pleasurable (at least in my experience) is far less hassle. Gay men are often perceived as doing anal sex frequently, but is it really as common as society seems to think?

Solomon Rustlake, Quora

There are a variety of answers, of varying quality, but here’s one on the pro-anal side:

Psst. Wanna know a secret?
*looks around furitively* Anal sex is the universal sex.
*looks around again to make sure no one heard me say this*
Wanna know why? Everyone has a butt hole. That means everyone can penetrate or be penetrated in the butt. Not everyone has a vagina, and not everyone has a penis, but everyone has a butt hole. (If they don’t, that’s a medical condition to discuss with one’s physician.)
All manners of people have anal sex!

Kathryn Elle, Quora

To more specifically answer the original question, however, it sounds like the original poster’s real problem is with needing to do it more often and get into a routine of anal sex to avoid the need for what he perceives as the hassle surrounding it. With frequent anal play, butt plugging and sex, the needs for warmup are minimized, you can get started with nothing more than a little dab of lube most of the time. Warmup is certainly important for people starting out or doing it infrequently, and should not be ignored if it’s needed, but as people get more and more into the anal only lifestyle, they tend to be engaging in anal penetration often enough that they stay always warmed up. It’s also not necessary to “cover the bed” or shower immediately after, though putting down a towel isn’t exactly difficult for a bit of extra precaution. Follow up with a little bit of ass to mouth and you’re as clean as you need to be, barring any unfortunate accidents.

He acknowledges that anal is far more pleasurable. He just needs to get more comfortable with it and he can be doing it every time rather than on a rare occasion.

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My partner doesn’t mind anal sex, but she hates the time and prep needed for it. I read on this site that some couples have buttsex constantly and consistently, sometimes multiple times a day. I have to wonder how much is truth and how much is just fantasy. My partner wouldn’t mind doing an anal only thing, but it’s just impossible to do with the preparation needed behind it.

So I have to ask, to those who do it all the time,

How do you do it?

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That’s the question asked by a Quora user, who receives an assortment of replies, including the following.

There’s a chance. Where his penis is isn’t where poop is “stored” but if you’ve gone to the restroom recently or have a little in that area, you may get some on him.

The REAL question is “does it matter?” Going into this, your boyfriend accepts that this may end with some poop on his penis. It’s an acceptable risk. It doesn’t matter.

James R. Butts, Quora

This is the right answer. Chances may be low, and you can mitigate most risk of making a mess, but there’s always somewhat of a chance no matter what you do, and in the end, it doesn’t really matter. The payoff is worth the risk, so long as you’re both mature about it and just laugh it off, clean up, and keep going after.

Continue reading on Quora

Lina: Any tips on fragrances for the anus?

Many aficionados of anal find that they simply prefer the natural scent of a clean anus, but there are certainly those who apply a perfume to the area as well. Depending on the activities involved, you probably won’t want to apply it to the anus itself, but the area around it, so that it doesn’t end up getting tasted during analingus, etc.

As for specific scents, I don’t have any suggestions, but perhaps other readers can share any that they’ve enjoyed.