The Process of Going Anal Only
This is just one part of our Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle section. Be sure to read the rest as well to get answers to our most frequently asked questions! New! This guide is also now available as a Kindle ebook!
The concept of anal only is fairly easy to understand in theory, but in practice some people can find it a challenge to implement, even as much as they would like to do it. On this page, we’ll outline some of the common ways that people transition into the anal only lifestyle, as well as some of the issues people encounter when doing so.
Going anal only in your solo masturbation routine
In some ways this can be the easiest, as you only have yourself to contend with, and if going anal only is something that you want, all you need to do is establish the habit and routine for yourself in order to commit to the anal only lifestyle. At the same time, some people find that they do better with a partner going through the same process along with them and helping each other to reinforce their new commitment as they do so.
The first step is to ensure that your anal training to this point is suitable to allow you to masturbate anally as often as you need without causing excessive soreness or pain for yourself. If you do still often get sore after anal, start by always combining some level of anal stimulation every time you masturbate, but if you’re sore, it can just be external rubbing or gentle fingering with a single finger.
If you’re past the point of getting particularly sore after anal masturbation (aside from pushing your limits with something larger than you’re used to), you can start to actively masturbate with dildos and wear butt plugs regularly, always ensuring that you’re masturbating anally any time you play with yourself. If you want or need to use your clit along with anal penetration, you can do so, but you should keep the primary focus on anal and always combine clit play with anal.
If you want to take it a step further and explore your ability to orgasm from anal only, or experiment with clitoral denial and its effects, it’s as simple as no longer touching your clit or pussy while you masturbate and only masturbating anally. As your arousal grows and you feel increasingly stronger urges to touch your clit, you can help to “reprogram” that urge by responding to it by rubbing, fingering and otherwise playing with your ass. Over time, you can start to feel that arousal and urge for sex and play in your ass rather than in your pussy or clit.
If at any point you give in and go back to vaginal or clitoral masturbation, don’t despair or feel like you’ve failed. It’s a normal part of the process for most people to go back and forth a little bit at first as they work on shifting their urges from vaginal to anal, so just dive right back into it if you’ve done so and see if you can go longer the next time around!
Going anal only with a trusted partner
Once you’re able to regularly have anal sex with your partner, a very effective technique is to only commit to a trial period of at least a month and no more than three months to begin with. This removes a lot of the fear and uncertainty about an up-front commitment to giving up vaginal sex, and lets you try it firsthand for an extended period of time that lets you work out any kinks in the process. You want to do so for at least a month, because the first few weeks can still have things to figure out, and you want enough time of it working fairly effortlessly in order to really see the benefits start to show themselves.
Communicate and keep adjusting things throughout the entire trial period, and once it’s over, keep communicating and share with each other what you want to do to decide whether you want to keep going with anal only long-term.
Some people will try a more advanced form of anal only, often with no clitoral stimulation at all, during this trial period, and then if they decide they want to commit to anal only going forward but had a hard time with that aspect of it, reintroduce clitoral stimulation again into the mix later. Others start out easy and simply replace vaginal sex with anal, but keep everything else the same, and evolve further in time as they see fit. Neither of these approaches is universally superior, and you should simply do what works best for you.
Going anal only as a single person who has sex with multiple partners
Once you’ve committed to being anal only, it can be hard to explain that to your partners if you aren’t in a committed relationship. For those who have a regular set of partners they have sex with intermittently, it can be the most challenging if any of them particularly prefer vaginal sex or aren’t into anal. Be honest, though, and tell them that you’ve gone anal only and won’t be having vaginal with them anymore but they’re welcome to do anal with you all they like. Some people are willing to do a hybrid approach where they go anal only with new partners and with anyone else interested in doing it, but existing partners who prefer vaginal can keep doing that. That isn’t really true anal only, and doesn’t give you all of its benefits, but it is a compromise that can work for some people.
For new partners or for hooking up/one night stands, there are multiple approaches. Communication is key, and it’s usually best to just tell them that you’re anal only, but other options for anal receivers are the use of chastity devices to make a clear point, as well as tape covering your pussy, backless panties that keep your pussy covered but expose your ass, and/or wearing a jeweled butt plug to show off your ass and make it clear that you do anal. Temporary tattoos that say “anal only” or similar phrases can be custom ordered to be applied over your pussy as well.
For more information on this, see our page on finding new partners in the anal only lifestyle.
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