Message: Anal Only Since Pregnancy, Frustrated But Loving It

Hi. I’m confused lately and I thought you may provide some useful feedback. I’m married and my husband and I got our first child six months ago, and ever since that time, my husband paid less and less attention to my pussy and clit, and more and more to my asshole. We’ve always had occasional anal, especially when I was on my period, but it went from something we did from time to time to something that happened systematically, to vaginal penetration being mere foreplay, to him ignoring my pussy and clit altogether and replacing them both with my asshole, both orally and for penetration. Before, he also always made sure I had an orgasm each time, and this stopped, too.

I enjoy anal, but I started to feel very frustrated, and I didn’t dare to talk to him about it. The change happened so gradually I feel I sort of gave my consent to it. So, I started masturbating both my pussy and clit when my husband wasn’t around, until something happened. I had an “accident” during anal penetration and I started doing enemas regularly to prevent that embarrassment from ever happening again. But then, my perception of anal started to change, and one month ago, as I was about to masturbate as usual, I started to feel horribly guilty, like I’ve been cheating on my husband all this time, and instead of masturbating my pussy and clit, I masturbated anally.

The sensation was great, and I stopped touching my pussy or clit. This had some effect in bed, I started to behave more… enthusiastically, and my husband loved it. We did our first ass to mouth two weeks ago, and since then it’s become a routine thing, and my sex life improved. But what’s weird is that I still masturbate when he’s not around (anally), and when I do it, I fantasize about him licking and fucking my pussy and clit, which makes me really hot.

It’s like I’m still frustrated, but my frustration makes me want to do anal sex even more. When I masturbate like this, I can get real rough with my ass, even though I never had an anal orgasm (I don’t have a clue about what it’s supposed to be), and I haven’t had a regular orgasm for at least four months now, which both frustrates and satisfies me. I’m really, really confused, and I feel like I’d break something if I talked to my husband about it. What’s happening to me? Thanks.

It sounds as though your husband very much prefers anal sex, and now that you have had a child, he is no longer interested in vaginal sex. This is a normal reaction for someone who prefers anal sex and views vaginal as more of a procreative act rather than recreative.

As for yourself, it sounds as though you have some submissive tendencies and are turned on and get pleasure from your husband’s pleasure and desires, as well as being turned on by denial and frustration. That’s quite common among women, anal only or otherwise. In your case it is manifesting as anal only because that is what your husband initiated and prefers, it sounds like.

Stick with it, embrace it, and become even more devoted to the anal only lifestyle. Work to change your fantasies to be anal only as well. You’ll love it even more, and so will he.

But also don’t feel afraid to talk to your husband. Communicate with him. Be open and honest, but also make it clear that you love the way you’ve become even if it confuses you.

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