Tag: 20170617

A series of posts from a housewife whose husband stopped having vaginal sex with her after she gave birth and who has to deal with adjusting to the change to anal only.

Message: Anal Only Since Pregnancy, Frustrated But Loving It, Part 3

Hi, it’s again the housewife whose husband went anal only. My husband and I never talked about masturbation, it’s just something that I instinctively avoided before. During sex, I never rubbed my clitoris for example because I felt it would be rude to masturbate when you make love – I’d rather have my partner do it or not have it at all. And masturbating alone was weird to me for a married woman. That attitude probably helped me when my husband started to ignore my clitoris and orgasm needs.

Anyway, I did what I said in my previous message, I started masturbating my ass just before the time I knew my husband would come home from work so he “surprises” me. It was amazing. He just smiled at me and sat on a chair, looking awesome in his work suit, and told me to keep going. After a while, he took his cock out of his suit and started to jack off slowly, it was so hot. Then he joined me, removed the dildo from my ass, put it in my mouth, and fucked me like that, all dressed up.

We’ve never done anything so hot, me naked and him still in his suit, one hand gripping my hips while he fucked my ass and his other hand pushing and pulling the dildo out of my mouth. We did talk a lot after that, like I hoped. He told me that, as you predicted, he always preferred anal sex, to the point he was looking forward to my periods to have an excuse to fuck my ass rather than my pussy.

Then he said after I gave birth to our son, my “cunt got way too loose” (when he said that I felt humiliated and turned on at the same time, I blushed and felt a tingle in my ass, it was weird), and he realized he couldn’t stand vaginal sex any longer and wanted sex to be more about him and his own pleasure – so, he switched our sex little by little to check if I was OK with it, but he said he never thought I’d enjoy it to the point of masturbating anally when he wasn’t around.

He said he’ll buy a butt plug for me to wear so I’m not as frustrated when he can’t fuck me, and he’ll make sure to fuck my ass more frequently and harder. I then said everything you told me to say, that I love that we’ve only been having anal sex and that I want to stay that way, that it confused me at first and I felt some frustration, but the frustration turned into arousal, and I enjoyed our new sex and the denial of things he didn’t care about, and I added I would do anything for him.

After that, we made love again, then he asked if I’d be OK with more new stuff, like tying me up (“of course dear”). It’s funny how when I wrote to you, I wondered how to tell him I still wanted vaginal and clitoral stimulation and orgasms, and the end result is I’ve accepted those are gone for good and I’ll get much more anal. But I feel really great about it, relaxed.

I do have an advice for girls who can’t get into anal, though: try having enemas, it’s really what triggered it for me. I had problems opening up before and feeling free to push my ass muscles because I feared I may not be clean, but using a small anal douche really helped me feel more comfortable, and allowed me to both open wide and contract around my husband’s cock to bring him more pleasure.

Anyway, thanks a LOT for your feedback. I felt completely lost and “abnormal”, and now I feel great, like both me and my husband found our right place! Funny how my son’s birth reignited our sexuality! Kisses!

It sounds like communicating was a positive experience with a positive outcome for you both, and you’re both happier and know where each other stand as a result. Congratulations to the both of you, I’m sure you’ll both have a wonderful time exploring your new anal only life together.

Message: Anal Only Since Pregnancy, Frustrated But Loving It, Part 2

Hi, I’m the wife who wrote the lengthy message. It never occurred to me that I may be submissive, it explains a lot. It’s true that I have traditional views on marriage: when I got pregnant and my husband promoted into a higher paid job, I quit my own job to take care of my son/the house/my husband, and honestly, I’m planning to stay a housewife for a while. I feel at my place. Come to think of it, my husband started to be more assertive in bed and focus more on anal after I quit.

Since now he’s the one bringing the money and handling work, I do think I have to be there for him to relax when he gets home – it was a major reason why I never protested or questioned his shift to anal sex, even when it got to anal only. Honestly, I’ve never seen him happier, and I do sort of feel like it’s my responsibility he stays that way. From what you say, you think I should try to stop fantasizing about my vagina and clitoris? What about my masturbation sessions?

Even though I now strictly masturbate anally with no clit/pussy stimulation, I feel like I’m doing something wrong like I’m cheating on him, but I really like it, especially after an enema. I could never tell him about my clit/pussy frustration though, it’s like I’d question/spoil all the sex we’ve had these past months, but I’d like to confess about masturbating and start a conversation about sex, but without him feeling I disapprove or anything.

I’m thinking about acting like I forgot the time while masturbating and he gets home and catch me like this. It should please him, I could confess (never about masturbating my vag/clit though, I feel ashamed of it now), and it could start a conversation? What do you think? Thank you for helping me. It feels great when you say this is all normal.

I agree, it does sound as though you have some sexually submissive tendencies, which are very normal and natural for many women, and satisfying those tendencies and urges by being submissive to your partner can help to make you feel satisfied and happy as well. Ultimately, you should only do this if it’s also what you want, though. Some women are anal only because they prefer anal and enjoy how it feels more than vaginal or because they get a thrill out of denying themselves vaginal sex and focusing exclusively on anal pleasure. Other women do it because it’s what their partner wants and they get pleasure and satisfaction out of pleasing their partner more than from the specific physical acts of sex. Both situations, or a hybrid of each, are fine, as long as you’re okay and happy with the arrangement too.

If further adopting and embracing the anal only lifestyle is what you want to pursue, then yes, I would encourage you to stop fantasizing about clit and pussy stimulation and work to develop your natural anal urges instead, focusing and fantasizing about it as well during sex and masturbation. I encourage anal only masturbation sessions, myself, and I certainly don’t see them as any sort of cheating on your partner, unless you’ve agreed with each other that you will not masturbate. Has your husband shown any indication in the past of not wanting you to masturbate? More reasons to communicate with each other: you’ll both know where you stand on such topics. If there is concern about it being some sort of cheating, you can frame your masturbation as so loving his cock in your ass that you sometimes need to use a toy as a surrogate until you can get the real thing from him again.

I definitely do encourage starting to talk about things with him if you want to discuss anything or explore further together. You can start simple: just tell him how much you love that you’ve only been having anal sex and that you want to stay that way. With time you might even be able to talk about still having some vaginal and clitoral urges, but being sure to frame the conversation with the reassurance that you enjoy having those urges and denying them and don’t want to go back to using your pussy and clit, but that it’s a turn on to have them denied. I’m putting words into your mouth a bit here, and you should express yourself honestly instead, but am just trying to give a bit of an example of how you can talk about these things with him without framing it negatively or making him feel bad about something you seem to be enjoying a lot.

The anal only community is growing all the time. More and more people are embracing it, or coming out and talking about the fact they’ve been anal only for quite some time already. The reality is that many men and women significantly prefer anal, or enjoy the many benefits of vaginal and clitoral denial and exclusively having anal and oral sex. We aren’t a majority yet by any means, but there are many of us out there, and it continues to be further normalized. If you are happy with and enjoy your anal only arrangement with your husband, there’s no reason to feel bad or doubt yourself over it.

Feel free to continue communicating here if you wish, and you may also want to check out the Anal Only Lifestyle Forums where you can communicate with many other members of the community.

Message: Anal Only Since Pregnancy, Frustrated But Loving It

Hi. I’m confused lately and I thought you may provide some useful feedback. I’m married and my husband and I got our first child six months ago, and ever since that time, my husband paid less and less attention to my pussy and clit, and more and more to my asshole. We’ve always had occasional anal, especially when I was on my period, but it went from something we did from time to time to something that happened systematically, to vaginal penetration being mere foreplay, to him ignoring my pussy and clit altogether and replacing them both with my asshole, both orally and for penetration. Before, he also always made sure I had an orgasm each time, and this stopped, too.

I enjoy anal, but I started to feel very frustrated, and I didn’t dare to talk to him about it. The change happened so gradually I feel I sort of gave my consent to it. So, I started masturbating both my pussy and clit when my husband wasn’t around, until something happened. I had an “accident” during anal penetration and I started doing enemas regularly to prevent that embarrassment from ever happening again. But then, my perception of anal started to change, and one month ago, as I was about to masturbate as usual, I started to feel horribly guilty, like I’ve been cheating on my husband all this time, and instead of masturbating my pussy and clit, I masturbated anally.

The sensation was great, and I stopped touching my pussy or clit. This had some effect in bed, I started to behave more… enthusiastically, and my husband loved it. We did our first ass to mouth two weeks ago, and since then it’s become a routine thing, and my sex life improved. But what’s weird is that I still masturbate when he’s not around (anally), and when I do it, I fantasize about him licking and fucking my pussy and clit, which makes me really hot.

It’s like I’m still frustrated, but my frustration makes me want to do anal sex even more. When I masturbate like this, I can get real rough with my ass, even though I never had an anal orgasm (I don’t have a clue about what it’s supposed to be), and I haven’t had a regular orgasm for at least four months now, which both frustrates and satisfies me. I’m really, really confused, and I feel like I’d break something if I talked to my husband about it. What’s happening to me? Thanks.

It sounds as though your husband very much prefers anal sex, and now that you have had a child, he is no longer interested in vaginal sex. This is a normal reaction for someone who prefers anal sex and views vaginal as more of a procreative act rather than recreative.

As for yourself, it sounds as though you have some submissive tendencies and are turned on and get pleasure from your husband’s pleasure and desires, as well as being turned on by denial and frustration. That’s quite common among women, anal only or otherwise. In your case it is manifesting as anal only because that is what your husband initiated and prefers, it sounds like.

Stick with it, embrace it, and become even more devoted to the anal only lifestyle. Work to change your fantasies to be anal only as well. You’ll love it even more, and so will he.

But also don’t feel afraid to talk to your husband. Communicate with him. Be open and honest, but also make it clear that you love the way you’ve become even if it confuses you.