Anonymous: Hello! Can I ask you about butt plus for bigger girls. If you have any knowledge on that. I have a Jewell plug but it feels like the base is sliding inside me if I let go. I wrapped some cord around the base just in case but I’m really worried it would slid up. Any advice please?

Some jeweled butt plugs have rather small bases similar in width to the widest part of the plug, and if the plug itself fits inside comfortably, the base can slide in fairly easily as well. That’s probably not a really serious concern, as you should be able to get it back out quite easily if it were to happen, but if it bothers you, you might try a different plug with a differently shaped or larger base.

Anonymous: Butt plugs have the tendency to slip right out of me. They don’t stay in place and pop right out especially while walking. It’s not that I have a stretched asshole cause I only do anal occasionally and don’t use dildos in it. Maybe I just need a bigger, rounder plug? Maybe mine is just naturally more stretchable? Any advice?

This is pretty common with smaller plugs and with plugs that don’t have a big enough difference in size between the widest and narrowest parts, or if the neck is too short. Try looking for something a bit bigger or with more of a size difference in that regard.

Also, just in a general sense, assholes don’t really get stretched, despite the common use of that terminology, it’s more that with use and practice you can gain increased elasticity and relax more easily, which might make it seem as if one is “looser”, but that’s not really the case, and having more frequent anal sex/play/butt plug wear often actually helps to strengthen anal muscles.

Anonymous: I got myself a couple of plugs & tried them out, & HOLY SHIT, I never thought I’d like having my ass plugged this much! My boyfriend put the smaller one in my ass while he fucked me a few days ago, he fucked me in the ass for the 1st time last night (had to end it halfway through cuz I wasn’t super used to it & felt like I needed to use the bathroom) & when I drove him to the bus station last night I put in the larger of the two plugs & ? I was a dripping mess. Suggestions for things to try?

Yay! Isn’t it great?

I’d suggest continuing to use the plugs regularly, start putting them any time you masturbate or do anything non-anal to further develop that association between anal stimulation and other known pleasure sources, which will have the double benefit of making anal keep feeling better and better, and training your ass with the plug so anal sex keeps getting easier. Outside of masturbation, keep slowly pushing your limits with them, wearing one for as long as it’s comfortable to do so, then taking it out and trying again another day to go even longer. Keep repeating that process and you’ll keep getting increasingly comfortable with it and want more.

I’d also suggest continuing to try anal sex and other more active forms of anal masturbation more often. If it was only a bit uncomfortable and felt like you needed to go to the bathroom rather than outright being painful, you’re in a great place for your first time having anal, and with more practice you’ll be able to really enjoy it.

Hope that gives you some ideas. Feel free to update or ask any other questions you might have.

Anonymous: I’m looking into getting a butt plug for long term wear. What material would you recommend? I read one of your posts that suggested that it have a wider bulb and a narrow neck to the base, but that ones with jeweled bases (the most popular ones and the only ones I can seem to find online) aren’t particularly comfortable for long term use. What type of base would you recommend? Thanks for in advance, I can’t wait to train my ass for my boyfriend.

In many ways it can come down to a bit of personal preference and anatomical differences that vary from person to person, so it’s hard to give an answer that’s going to be suitable for everyone. Avoid materials other than silicone, steel and glass, though. A lot of lower grade materials can cause irritation or have toxic ingredients.

Silicone is softer and pliable and so some find it comfortable in that regard compared to having something totally rigid, but it can have a bit more friction so you notice it as lube dries out a bit more, depending on the surface finish of the silicone. Silicone toys can sometimes have issues with silicone lube, so are often limited to water-based and oil-based.

Steel and glass are rigid and smooth and often require less lube or can manage to stay comfortable longer as lube dries/gets absorbed. Some prefer the firmness of these materials, too.

Some possible options to consider are the Implicit Creations Core Plug (silicone, shaped for comfortable long term wear, multiple sizes), the Tantus Ryder (silicone, comfortably shaped, 1.5″ max diameter), and the nJoy line of plugs. T-shaped or loop bases are often going to be the most comfortable, and you want to avoid things with sharp edges. If you have a local sex toy store, I’d suggest going in and looking at some in person to get an idea of shape and size.

Finally, jeweled plugs can be very sexy and a lot of people like seeing them and wearing them, and even if they aren’t necessarily the best design for comfortable long term wear, they can be well worth having anyway to use in appropriate situations. And some do wear them fairly long term anyway.

Hope that helps some, and good luck and have fun with your anal training!

bbcsnatcha: i want to be an anal slut. i’m really getting into dp too. so far i’ve had a butt plug in (the hooks used to keep it in place are uncomfortable) i want to give my ass to my big daddy but i don’t know where to start 25/f/tx

Is your goal to become anal only, or just to incorporate anal sex into your life? As an advocate of the anal only lifestyle, I’m obviously going to strongly encourage you to pursue a transition to anal only, but if anal sex is still something you’re working towards at this point, the first stage should generally be learning to enjoy it and make it a regular part of your sex life before working to replace vaginal fully with anal, unless you’re interested in and committed to making a rapid transition.

Keep using your butt plug regularly. Perhaps start with a process of only rubbing your clit or orgasming when masturbating if you have your plug or another toy in your ass at the same time, to further develop an association between anal stimulation and pleasure, arousal, and orgasms.

Start using dildos to masturbate anally. Start on the smaller end, with something you’re easily comfortable with, and work up gradually from there until reaching around the size of your partner. Take as little or as much time as you need to get to where you can comfortably fit it. If something starts to hurt in the process, take things slow, back off if necessary, spend a little more time with something smaller, then try again. With gradual easing up in size, you shouldn’t experience pain. It might feel a little unusual or briefly uncomfortable until you adjust to it, but it shouldn’t be painful. As you start out, combining clit stimulation with anal penetration can help you learn to relax as well as transforming what might feel a little uncomfortable into pleasure instead. Long term, I encourage people to experiment with transitioning to pure anal pleasure without clitoral stimulation, but your clit can be helpful when first training.

Once you feel confident you’re ready to try it with your partner, go through a warmup either yourself beforehand or together, working up in the sizes to relax and prepare your ass, then lube him up and gently ease him in. Take the control for the initial penetration and slowly slide your ass onto his cock, stopping or slowing or backing off as necessary. When he’s fully penetrated, just stay there a moment while you adjust to his size, and then slowly start moving. Once you’re comfortable with a pace, let him take over more. If it gets to be too much, make sure he knows to slow or stop when you say. You likely won’t need to stop altogether, but a brief pause with him still inside you but just resting a moment, or pulling out partway, can give you the adjustment you need before resuming.

It’s a learning process the first few times, and it can take some back and forth and starting and stopping, but if you stick with it you’ll get there, and you’ll love it.

thatsnicestigz: Me and my gf just started the anal only life, got any advice for newbies?

You’ve made an excellent choice, well done.

Have sex regularly. Experiment with butt plugs and other toys between having sex. The more use her ass gets on a regular basis, the easier it is to do anal consistently and the less impediments there are to staying strictly anal only.

Enjoy how much better being anal only together is. Let it bring you closer together. Talk openly about it and discuss any issues or concerns as you may encounter them and figure out how to work through them together. Be sure to express to each other how much you enjoy being anal only, too.

115753: My girl friend says my dick is to big to have anal sex and hurts her. How can I change that?

Focus on anal play and training with her for a while instead, if she’s willing. Rim her, massage and finger her ass while eating/rubbing her pussy, get her a butt plug or two, work up over time to a dildo a little smaller than you, etc. If you ease up in size gradually, any reasonable size can be comfortably fit anally with enough practice and patience.

I’d suggest reading through the Anal Advice category for more detailed specifics.

vampgurl86: So Friday I will be receiving my training plugs. I love anal and some how have not ever had a set. I was curious should I start out just masturbating with them or wearing them at night or all day.

It depends somewhat on what your goal is. Masturbating with them in is a good easy way to get started and get comfortable with them. If you want to use them as training plugs, also try wearing them at times outside of masturbation and see how long you can keep them in. If a smaller size poses no challenge, or stops posing a challenge after wearing it a while, go to the next size for training purposes and repeat until you reach the largest one. I would start doing this during the daytime and in controlled private situations, and ease into doing it overnight or during day to day activities in public once you know you’re comfortable with them long-term at home.

Anonymous: so i’m slowly taking steps to having more anal (might try anal only, but that’s a ways down the road). my issue is while i like plugs while masturbating or having sex, i simply can’t get used to wearing them in everyday life. i try to put one in and get dressed to go to the store, and it gets so uncomfortable (not hurting, but not a good feeling) that i have to take it out before i leave the house. is there anything i can try to help this?

That’s a normal part of the process for some people, and the best way to deal with it is to wear your plug regularly, but in controlled environments like at home, up until the point where it becomes uncomfortable. Then take it out until you’re ready to put it back in again. (If you’re ready to keep doing it right away, try just taking it out for a little while and putting back in again, otherwise wait a bit longer.) Next time, try to go a little bit longer than before. If you’re comfortable doing so, push your limits a little past the point of slight discomfort, but not into pain.

As you keep doing this, you’ll start relaxing more and learning to have something comfortably in your ass without discomfort. It’s not uncommon for people to start out with a plug becoming uncomfortable after 15 to 20 minutes if they already have a little anal experience, and sometimes less. But with practice you can easily get to where it will be comfortable going out in public with it in, wearing it all night, or even 24/7.

Another factor can be the plug material and the type of/how much lube you’re using. Silicone plugs are softer and less rigid, but have a bit more surface friction that can cause an uncomfortable feeling if you don’t have enough lube or it dries out. Glass and steel plugs are harder and smoother and can get by with less lube.

Hope that helps!

Anonymous: Heya! Quick question, what are the best things to use to when masturbating anal only? Dildos? Butt plugs? Beads? Any help would be amazing 🙂

If all you have is your fingers, that can work. A butt plug is great for warmup or as something to wear passively when you aren’t masturbating to keep your thoughts and focus on your asshole (and just because it feels good to have your ass filled and stretched open). Beads are sort of a hybrid, they can be more passive, or they can be used actively as you push them in and pull them out. A dildo is the ultimate anal masturbation tool for a lot of people, and one with a good suction cup can let you really go at it hands-free.

Some manage to repurpose other objects for anal masturbation—vegetables, fruit, bottles, etc. With a bit of care, it can be done safely, but make sure to avoid using something with a risk of slipping inside and getting lost. Anal toys and dildos often have a base of some sort that makes this more difficult.

Enjoy your anal only masturbation!