Message: Anal Only During Pregnancy, Now He Doesn’t Want to Go Back, Part 2

I’m going to split up this message so I can respond more directly inline to its different parts.

Hello once again. Thanks for answering my post from 17th April about my experiences during and after my second pregnancy.

At this point it’s kind of hard to say what it is I really want. I feel more than a little confused. I think my mood is lower than after my first child. Here’s the thing though: When I was pregnant I loved all the anal, it felt very good and it felt like the right thing to do at the time. I’m a big believer in listening to what your body tells you. And I really had a verging on unhealthy craving for it for the duration.

I’m biased in favor of the anal only lifestyle, naturally, so my responses and encouragement are going to share that bias, but I’m also biased in favor of mutual consent and desire to take part in this lifestyle.

Because you’re still adjusting post-pregnancy, and because both you and your husband loved being anal only until recently, I would suggest continuing to maintain your anal only routine together when you feel up to it even if your arousal hasn’t fully recovered yet, and seeing where things go from there. Your arousal will return, and I’m pretty confident your love for anal will as well. It’s a little bit of the “fake it until you make it” approach, but that can actually work quite well. And along the way, you’ll probably figure out whether continuing being anal only is what you really want or if you really do want to go back to vaginal.

Although I was getting gradually larger I also never felt sexier (which my husband commented on) while now the reverse is true. It all feels like a very unfair piece of bad timing that my husband is very affectionate, turned on and making very frequent advances while I’m not feeling the same. I admit to feeling some guilt over this. Is that bad?

It’s not at all uncommon or unusual in this situation. Be sure to keep talking with him about it and explain how you feel, and listen to him as well. Make sure to try not to make him feel bad for being affectionate and aroused while you aren’t. Try to work through it together and come up with compromises that work while you continue to adjust post-pregnancy. Try to identify what does make you feel more aroused and when and take advantage of that when you can. Otherwise, just keep moving forward and be patient.

I’m not sure if it’s just the lack of interest in any sex rather than not wanting anal. My husband is being very gentle and considerate and even more enthusiastic with foreplay etc than ever before.

Any tips for getting my drive back? And if we are making love 3 or 4 times a week is that too much anal to have safely?

For getting your sex drive back, just be patient and keep sticking with it, and you’ll get there eventually. It just takes time in most cases. Your body goes through a lot during a pregnancy, and everything doesn’t just go back to “normal” immediately after. It’s a process.

As for having anal sex 3 to 4 times a week, there’s nothing at all wrong with that so long as that’s a frequency that isn’t uncomfortable or painful for you. Listen to your body, and if it makes you sore or painful after or during to do it that often, try it a little less often, but if it’s working well for you, keep it up. Having frequent anal sex doesn’t have negative long term effects if you’re doing it safely and it doesn’t hurt and isn’t injuring you. Maintaining a frequent routine like that is in fact quite positive both for having anal sex and for your anal health in general.

I’m not sure if much of what I said was very helpful, but I hope it helped at least a little. Good luck!

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