Message: Anal Only During Pregnancy, Now He Doesn’t Want to Go Back

It has been a real eye opener finding this blog. I’ve read post after post over several days. It has all been very fascinating to me as in my innocence I never knew anything like this existed.

But I digress. Reading through all the information, I didn’t find anything that exactly matched my story so I thought I would share, ask some questions and get your thoughts.

I’m a 35 mother to 2 boys, married for 11 years. I had few partners before we married but was not so inexperienced that I hadn’t tried most things including anal. I didn’t mind it, neither did I love it, but stopped anyway when I married as my husband never expressed any interest.

During my second pregnancy there was a little spotting which concerned me, although my doctor assured me that it was no cause for alarm. Not wanting to risk the baby we stopped having sex. My husband was disappointed and never as happy with a hand or mouth. Eventually I suggested anal to him, but he was so reluctant even to try. A long story short, he did after some persuasion take me up on the offer. I actually really enjoyed, and I was feeling on high arousal for the remainder of my pregnancy.

My husband admitted that it wasn’t what he expected and so we carried on with it. As I became larger it became more practical too as I could simply lie on my side, he’d lube me up, and snuggle up behind me. Those months were wonderful. I had a craving for it, was feeling very feminine and maternal, and he appeared to be enjoying it too.

However, after the baby was born, my sex drive took a nosedive. My vagina healed up and I wanted to go back to how things were before. My husband in a complete reversal now found excuses not to have vaginal, or “we’ll do it next time”. Now every time we make love, he heads straight to my ass.

I don’t hate it but it’s not the same as it was. I have no idea why. My husband on the other hand has become more and more passionate about anal. I feel bad for trying to get back to vaginal as he obviously enjoys the anal and it was my idea to get started doing this.

So you can see my dilemma. Was this just a phase that I went through. Can I get the desire back. I really want to please my husband, but my body is letting me down. I hadn’t expected this change of heart from him and believed everything would return to normal but it’s apparent it will not. This is not a good place to be since his sex drive is now increasing but mine has hit rock bottom. Any effective ways to fix this? Suggestions from your readers who may have gone though similar also welcome.

Many thanks, Kay

Thanks for sharing your story. A lot of people seem to go anal only or start exploring the idea while pregnant or after a pregnancy, though there are always variations on the precise reasoning or motivation.

It’s also not uncommon for a woman’s sex drive to change after a pregnancy, between the stress, lack of sleep, and other physical, emotional and situational changes.

Where you go from here depends on what you really want. It sounds like you want to move back away from anal and return to vaginal—but is that what you really want or just what your urges are right now? Is it that you only expected this to last a short time and are somewhat resentful now that he’s discovered how much prefers anal and doesn’t want to go back to vaginal anymore?

You certainly can get your anal only urges and desires and pleasure back, but it might take some experimentation, practice and time. If you’d like to go that route, I’d suggest sticking with just anal and viewing it as a fun adventure and challenge to pursue together rather than something you’re struggling with or not enjoying or resent.

I hope you’re able to figure out what it is that you both need and ultimately make it work. I’m happy to discuss things further, too!

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