Anonymous: Hi, this is the girl who hated your blog again. I came back and read your response and have been going through your blog for a while. I thought about it and you’re right that I can enjoy anal on its own, so maybe it isn’t right to think of my pussy and clit as the core of female sexuality, that’s just how I’ve always thought of them and I think most women do. But maybe that’s too limiting? Anyway, I’m going to try only having anal for a week and see what I think when it’s my choice. Thanks.

I’m surprised, most people who attack my blog disappear and don’t come back when I respond. I’m glad that you decided to take a closer look and consider it from a different perspective. I’m also glad that my interpretation seems to have been correct and anal only might actually be something you like trying if you look at it from a different perspective instead of seeing it as something you’ve been forced into doing. Since you say you really enjoy anal, you’ll probably have a good time if you consider it a personal challenge, a fun experiment, a sexy secret about yourself. Good luck. I hope you end up changing your mind on anal only and maybe even embrace it for yourself.

Anonymous: I’m the girl who said I hate your blog. Thank you for the response, I’m sorry if I was too mean, I didn’t think you’d answer and I’m just frustrated because so many guys only want anal from me now and I started searching around and found your blog encouraging that behavior. I actually do anal and I like it, but that doesn’t mean I want to ignore my pussy and clit! They’re the core part of my sexuality, even if I like how anal feels a lot. So why insist on anal ONLY?

There are a lot of reasons for anal only over just including it along with other things. A lot of people just don’t enjoy vaginal or aren’t attracted to it in the same way as anal, and find anal sex far more pleasurable and sexy, more intimate, more satisfying, more raw and passionate, etc. I enjoy anal so much more I don’t want to waste any more time on vaginal when I could be having sex that I enjoy instead. I also find it more exciting to be anally exclusive, like a dirty little secret, and to know that I haven’t had vaginal sex in over seven years and have no interest in changing that.

I disagree with the assertion that a woman’s vagina and clit are the core part of her sexuality in a general sense. Each person is different and it might be for some, but it isn’t inherently. Some women might be more vaginal-centric, some clit-centric, and some anal-centric. Since you do enjoy anal, why not just try being anal only for a while? Don’t think of it as something degrading or something you’re doing for others, just explore the idea for your own curiosity and see what it’s like. You might find you actually enjoy it. Use your clit if you need it to enjoy anal, but only do anal with guys and when you masturbate. Take a few months to try being anal only, and see how you feel about it after that time. I can almost guarantee you’ll see it in a different light.

Instead of resenting guys who want anal, try being the assertive one and tell them up front that you’re anal only and you only want anal. You’ll be in control, they’ll love it, and you’ll both have a good time.

The reason I’m suggesting this is because you say you do love anal, and despite your claim that you don’t want to be anal only, you seem curious enough to engage in conversation about it here. If I’ve misread, and you really have no interest, then be assertive in a different way—tell guys you want more than anal, and if that’s a dealbreaker for them, then fine.

Anonymous: I hate your blog so much! I wish you would take it down. You’re making it so hard for women who won’t do anal to date anymore, all the guys want anal more and more or anal only, and I could never do that. Why do you insist on anal only so much? It’s like we’re all going to have to go anal only now just to get a date.

I highly doubt I have the influence to affect your dating life. Anal only may be growing in popularity over just a few years ago, but it’s still a fairly niche practice. Far more likely is the general cultural acceptance of anal leading to guys being more assertive for their desire or need to have anal. Anal is becoming like oral in the not-to-distant past—no longer a niche, something many people are expecting as a normal part of a relationship.

Just as these guys you’re encountering seem to be standing up for their need for anal, you can stand up for your disinterest in it. I guarantee there are guys out there who only want vaginal as well.

I’m not “insisting” on anal only, I’m advocating for it and encouraging people to try it, but beyond that everyone has the ability to decide whether they do or don’t want to have anything to do with it. As it turns out, a decent number of people like the idea.

That said, why not try anal? Try it on your own time, get familiar with it, masturbate with something in your ass. You’ll probably enjoy it. There’s a reason it’s getting so popular, and it’s not a one-sided thing just because guys want it. It feels really good for women when done correctly, and can make you orgasm better than vaginal/clitoral. It’s definitely worth experimenting with for your own sake, at your own pace.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following responses.

420spacequeen: I am a strong independent woman and fuck my ass on a regular basis. I love it!! So many nerve endings. Use a plug while masturbating your clit. Go bigger and bigger each size plug. You’ll soon be begging to be fucked in the ass non-stop.

wrexless: Masturbate with a butt plug in, or have your partner use a toy on you while you have a finger or plug (or anything really) in your butt. That’s how my wife got into it.