Message: Best Plugs For Training Ass

Anonymous: What are the best plugs for training your ass for every day use? I’d like to start training my ass but I’m not sure which plugs to purchase. Thank you ❤️ love your blog

There aren’t really any “best” plugs, it all comes down to personal choice and what works best for you. I usually recommend training with fingers first, and once you can fit three fingers fairly easily, upgrading to a plug at that point—otherwise you’ll probably end up getting a plug that’s really small and both won’t stay in place very well and you’ll outgrow pretty quickly. Once you can fit three fingers, consider something in the 1.5″ maximum diameter range.

There are multiple quality options around this size, including but not limited to the Tantus Ryder, Doc Johnson Mood Naughty and the Implicit Creations Core Plug (these are all silicone plugs, but stainless steel and glass options can be very good as well—but they don’t have any give or flexibility to them, obviously, and so can sometimes be harder for beginners to get used to). Jeweled/”Princess” plugs are a popular first plug for a lot of people because they’re visually appealing, but a lot of people find that the round/sharp edged base can get uncomfortable after a while if you’re wearing them long term, and the neck is usually very narrow, so it doesn’t hold open the anal sphincter very much and isn’t as useful as a training plug.

I would avoid the super cheap options outside of silicone, glass or stainless steel. A lot of cheap sex toy materials aren’t very body safe and can smell bad and sometimes even cause a burning skin reaction, so it’s best to go with a good quality material from the start.

Once you have a plug, you may not be able to wear it long term just yet (or you might—everybody’s different). Start by wearing it when you masturbate. Then try keeping it in longer. If it starts to get too uncomfortable to keep in, take it out and try it longer the next time. Try sleeping with it in. The more you practice with it, the longer you’ll be able to comfortably fit it. If you go out with it in, you may want to carry a small bottle of lube with you to reapply if it starts to dry out/get absorbed and you need to add more.

Have fun and enjoy!

Message: Anal Only September, Part 5

Anonymous: Anal Only September girl here again, this time with super happy news! I’m going to get ass”raped” by my Dom on Sunday and I’m sssssooooooo excited for it!!!!! Moral of the story every girl should do an anal only month 🙂

Congratulations, have fun! It’s not clear from what you’ve said if you ended up staying anal only after your trial month, or if you’ve returned to a mix but find yourself craving and enjoying anal more after doing it exclusively for a month.

Either way, I agree, every girl (and couple) should try at least a month of anal only. Many find they love it as a result, often after never even really considering it before that.

Message: Anal Only Marriage Followup

Hi, your post about “The Many Roads Leading to the Anal Only Lifestyle” is very true, I myself belong to two categories. I got into anal to stay a virgin until marriage, but then I fell in love with my sex friend. When we started talking about marriage, I told him about having vaginal sex after we’re husband and wife, but he didn’t want to hear about it – he’s actually not even into clitoral stimulation, even if he loves lengthily licking my asshole.

We argued about it for a few weeks, but then I noticed he was more and more dominant in bed. In fact, he’s always believed I was anal only because I liked it, and the idea anal was “forced” on me while I really wanted vaginal and clitoral sex obviously turned him on, especially since I’m still a virgin… Somehow, this misunderstanding made him much more passionate, sex got really hotter, and he also became more caring and protective with me.

The situation started to please and turn me on a lot, too. That was six months ago (I actually wrote to you about it in June), we got married in August. I’m still a vaginal virgin, obviously we’re still an anal only couple, and we’re also a dominant/submissive couple, mostly in bed but also partly in life. It’s crazy, because I got into anal to save my virginity for my husband so my marriage gets as perfect and romantic as possible, and it’s somehow what happened, but not how I had imagined.

Thanks so much for the followup submission. Congratulations on getting married, and I’m so glad everything worked out so well and in a mutually satisfactory way for the both of you. It sounds like you made the right decision to stay anal only!

Message: I Assumed You Were Pushing Anal Only To Please Men

spoiledlittleslut: When I first started following you I didn’t pay much attention to your captions because I incorrectly assumed that you would be pushing anal only as a way to better please men. I’m so happy that I was wrong! You’ve quickly become one of the blogs I go to to find relief from misogynistic posts ?

analsexonly: Thanks so much for the lovely message. I’ve been a fan of your blogs for some time as well.

I’m very much an advocate of equal opportunity anal, and recognizing the fact that there are many women who greatly enjoy anal as well, while trying to dispel the myth that women only do it to please men. There are certainly some who do, or who like that idea, including some who do anal only because they’re turned on and satisfied more by pleasing their partner than by their own physical pleasure, and I certainly don’t mean to suggest that those people are incorrect either or that there’s anything wrong with such enjoyment of service if that is what they want, enjoy and consent to. But it isn’t the primary focus of my blog—I do try to always try to portray a variety of approaches and appeals about anal and anal only, both for men and women—but around a central theme of mutual enjoyment of anal, especially female enjoyment, which some people still struggle to understand, it seems.

Because there are a lot of women who do enjoy anal. And a lot of others who don’t, which is perfectly fine too. Anal only isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay! But I want to give a positive impression of anal, an encouragement for those who are interested in the idea of anal only to try it on their own terms—because they’re curious about it and want to try it, not because they’re being pressured into it by anybody—and advice to help ensure that people curious about it actually enjoy it and discover something new and fun they can do, even if they don’t want to do anal only. I think it’s really unfortunate that so many people have bad first experiences with anal because of partners pressuring them into trying it, not knowing how to do it properly or how to ensure everyone enjoys it, and swearing off trying it again when they might actually really like it if it was done right. For that reason, I personally have a problem with the blogs who push the idea that women aren’t supposed to enjoy anal or that it’s supposed to hurt and that’s the whole point of anal. I hate that idea, and maybe some people get off on it as a fantasy and I’m not going to be critical of that, but I do think that pushing that message continues to do harm to the goal of more people trying it and enjoying it. Perhaps I’m overreacting there, though.

I personally am anal only because I prefer anal and always have, and I love women who also love anal on their own terms, not just doing it to please a partner. That’s very appealing to me. When I started this blog, I did it just because I really liked the idea of anal only, but then more and more people—men and women both—who also liked the idea started showing up and it kept getting more popular, and it was awesome to sort of be a voice for all these people who shared a similar desire or were actively living an anal only life, and a whole community has grown out of it—a generally very mature and respectful community, at that!—and I think that’s just really cool to see.

Message: I Want to Be A Butt Slut But My Brain Doesn’t Accept It

Anonymous: I’m 18, have a bf and like buttsex (I’m AO while not getting married), but I don’t know how to be sexy or use my anal abilities to make him happy cause I’m not soooo into assfucking. I don’t feel that “fire” in my butt and my brain stills considering my pussy as my primary sex organ. I feel terrible for cannot be like the buttgirls that I watch in your blog. Please, help me! I wanna be a buttslut, but my brain do not accept it! There is any hypno video ou technique that I could use? (I’m BR)

I don’t have any hypno videos or anything of that nature to help you, but I can offer you some advice and suggestions.

Do you masturbate anal only as well? If not, and if you masturbate vaginally, that is likely a contributing factor to why you feel a disconnect between your ass being your primary sex organ like you want, because you would still be using your vagina sexually. I would suggest masturbating anally at least daily, and no longer masturbating without something in your ass at the same time. This not only puts the focus on your ass where it belongs, but combining something like clitoral stimulation with anal stimulation on a regular basis really helps further associate the feeling of anal penetration with pleasure and can make it a lot more enjoyable for you.

Also, I would suggest no longer thinking of yourself as anal only until marriage—the fact that you phrase it that way puts an end point on being AO and still keeps the priority on your pussy as your primary sex organ, just not right now, and that may be contributing as well to why you have a hard time mentally thinking of your ass being the primary focus for you sexually. Even if you might end up being open to vaginal sex with a future husband, there’s no need to be concerned about that now if anal only is what you are now, and you want to get more deeply into it. Just identify as anal only.

Wearing a butt plug regularly is not only good to keep your ass in good shape and warmed up for sex, but it also helps draw your attention to your asshole throughout the time you’re wearing it, so you think about it more instead of your pussy.

This contradicts the above advice to masturbate regularly with your clit and anal penetration, but you might also consider stopping all clitoral stimulation as well as vaginal. This will boost your arousal, make you hornier, and any time the urge gets too great and you feel like you can’t resist, rub and finger and dildo your ass instead of rubbing your clit. Over time, this can further redirect and reassociate your pleasure centers and your urges anally instead of clitorally and vaginally, and it can also unlock much more intense anal pleasure and anal only orgasms. See this recent submission to the Anal Only Lifestyle blog for a reader’s firsthand account on the topic. If you already enjoy anal anal only, I definitely encourage trying a period of time without clit stimulation too. A lot of women become extremely dependent on their clit for all pleasure, and it can hide and prevent a lot of other sorts of pleasure and more intense anal only orgasms that can occur.

Message: After-Effects of Rough Anal Sex

Anonymous: Lately my wife and I have been having much rougher anal sex. It’s amazing, but after I drop my load and pull out, there’s usually a bit of dripping out of her asshole that we’d like to avoid. Suggestions?

I think you left a crucial word out, unfortunately, but I can guess at what you mean. A bit of blood, or a bit of feces?

If it’s blood, try warming up more first, stretching a bit longer and a bit larger with toys before moving on to sex. Make sure you’re using enough lube. Whenever you encounter blood, stop and let it heal for a few days before trying again, just to make sure any minor injuries that may have occurred heal rather than turning into anything larger.

If it’s feces, try an anal douche/fleet enema before having sex. You usually don’t want to go too deep with an enema unless you go for a full deep enema and flush everything out—which you don’t want to do too often anyway. Also try having her wear a plug for half an hour or so before sex—in addition to helping warm her up, it can sort of temporarily “activate” the digestive system and move things along if things are close. If it’s just a bit at the end, though, I presume a minor douche would solve the issue.

Message: How Does Anal Prolapse Happen?

Anonymous: I really like to watch prolapse porn, for me is such a turn on to see a girl like Proxy Page having her asshole hanging out after being fisted. I just would like to know how this happens. It’s because having regular anal too often, or it’s because the regular insertion of big toys. I would like to do this with a girl someday, but also I wouldn’t like to hurt somebody.

There are a few different things which people refer to as anal prolapse, but they’re kind of different. The medical condition of anal prolapse is generally involuntary and problematic, and it also isn’t known to be caused by anal sex—it’s more of a preexisting condition or something one might be already prone to. It’s quite rare.

In porn, what is often referred to as prolapse or rosebudding is something that is done a lot more deliberately, and occurs as the result of the anus being significantly loosened and relaxed in the short term through the use of large toys, fists, double/triple anal, etc., and then pushing out hard as if straining when going to the bathroom in order to force part of the rectum into view in the gape.

The former is generally quite a bad and unwanted thing, but the latter isn’t generally an issue or something that occurs outside of deliberately trying to do it after or during a long anal session.

Message: No Diddle December already a success!

My wife and I have been married for seven and a half years.  We’ve had anal sex almost from the beginning of our sexual relationship and have been anal only for about four years now.  It wasn’t like it was our goal or anything, it just sort of happened that anal sex became more and more the focus of our lovemaking.  We kind of came to the realization together that we both preferred anal and decided vaginal sex held nothing for us.  It was actually my wife that stumbled upon your blog.  Until then we often wondered if there were other couples out there like us.

Since abandoning vaginal sex, my wife continued using a vibrator on her clit, but nothing in her vagina.  It really hadn’t bothered me much.  But, it seemed like it often interfered with our lovemaking.  Either it wouldn’t be positioned right, or it was difficult to perform certain positions with her having to keep the vibrator on her clit.   Some time ago I became intrigued by all the posts regarding no clit stimulation.  When I mentioned it to her several months ago she was resistant to the idea.  She didn’t seem to think she could have an orgasm without clit stimulation.

When someone mentioned the idea of “No Diddle December” at the Anal Only Lifestyle forum I decided to ask her again.  This time I asked if she would do it for the month of December as my Christmas present.  I told her that she only had to do it this month and that I would not ask her again if she still didn’t like it.  As I suspected, my wife said she didn’t think she could have an orgasm without stimulating her clit.  Thankfully she has a good attitude and agreed to try it with an open mind.

The first couple of times we had sex she was unable to get into it and let me finish.  She said it wasn’t unpleasant or anything, just that she couldn’t get turned on.  I was discouraged to say the least, as was she.  The next time we had sex she began to get turned on but was unable to orgasm.  She seemed really frustrated.  I told her she could use her vibe if she really wanted to because I didn’t want to see her frustrated like that.  To her credit she said she had agreed not to stimulate herself this month and was going to stick to it.  We went to bed right after.

A couple of hours later, I awoke to her sucking my cock.  She rarely wakes horny like that. As soon as I was hard, she sat on top of me cowgirl.  Within a minute she was grinding back and forth with my cock buried balls deep in her ass.  When this went on for several minutes I thought she would get frustrated, as she usually cums pretty quickly.  When I asked if she wanted her vibe she didn’t say a word but moved my hand not to her clit, but to her breasts.  When I did I felt her ass begin to contract and sort of pulsate like it does at orgasm.  When I looked up at her, her head was back and her eyes had sort of rolled back like she was in a trance.  She generally orgasms very quickly and is done.  As I had just had an orgasm a couple hours earlier, I wasn’t ready yet.  This was fortunate, as her trance like state continued for several minutes with her grinding back and forth on my cock and her ass pulsating until I couldn’t wait any longer.  As I began to cum, my wife, who is normally quiet during sex, began saying “Oh god, oh god, oh god.”  Then she let out a single load moan and passed out, falling backward on the bed with my cock still in her ass.  I could feel her ass continue to involuntarily pulsate as my cock began to soften.

I would have to guess my wife lay this way for nearly a minute before coming to.  When she did, all she could say was “Oh my god.  That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. I think I passed out.”  When I asked her if she had rubbed her clit she said “No.  And let me tell you, if I can have an orgasm like this I may never touch my clit again.”

She had never experienced an orgasm like this before.  She said she her orgasm had started when I began fondling her breasts and didn’t end until she passed out.  Neither of us ever would have thought that stimulating her clit was actually keeping her from experiencing the best possible orgasm.  She has since described it as being on a whole different level.  She said that she hadn’t realized that her orgasms had been centered on her clit even though we were having anal sex, and described it as a whole body orgasm, like her entire body was part of it, not just her genitals.

Thank you to whoever suggested “No Diddle December”.  If you are an “anal only” couple who is still stimulating her clit or vagina in some way, I can’t recommend enough at least trying to avoid this for a time and see if you don’t find she can not only orgasm from anal only but have an orgasm on an entirely different plane.