Emma: I love my partner, but our sex just isn’t enough for me. In my past, I had wild orgies, multiple men at once, and intense double anal penetration. That’s when I felt truly alive and satisfied, completely in control and yet so intensely used. Now, with him, the physical connection is deeper emotionally, but it just doesn’t ignite me the same way. I miss this part of my old days.

He doesn’t have the stamina for what I need. I think the only thing that would really satisfy me is a good old gangbang with double anal penetration. I keep thinking about how it feels to be stretched and filled like that; that is what I crave most. I want that kind of intense sex again, but I’m scared to ask for it. I worry that if he knew about my past, he wouldn’t love me anymore.

Sometimes I think about trying something like a gangbang party with him, but I’d probably end up spending the night alone in the orgy, going after my desires because he wouldn’t be able to keep up.

I love him, and I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m struggling with this overwhelming mix of desire and guilt. Am I being selfish? I don’t want to hide who I am, but I also don’t want to lose what we have. I’m caught between my needs and my fears, and it’s tearing me apart.

First of all, your needs are totally valid and you shouldn’t feel guilty or selfish for wanting what you want. That said, it can definitely be a challenge to navigate differing levels of sexual needs and desires in a relationship.

Have you considered incorporating bigger anal toys into your solo play, and seeing about introducing double anal into your routine with your partner with his cock and a dildo? If he’s not open to a gangbang with other men, maybe toys can help you fill your physical needs for a bigger stretch and double anal.

Kasia: I’ve been following this blog for a long time and it’s always been a great motivation for me. I’ve been wondering how to convince more girls to try the AO lifestyle. I’ve come to the conclusion that rimming is what can encourage them to try anal sex.

Many women say that it is the stimulation of the vagina and clitoris with the tongue that gives them the most pleasure and warms them up and prepares them for vaginal sex. Why not try this approach with anal sex? Maybe it’s worth licking the anus of the girl you love, and she’ll be more willing to let you enter her asshole. Take care of her proper hole and in time she will forget about her pussy and clitoris.

I can’t remember the last time I had my vagina and clitoris licked, but I love having my ass licked and kissed like as if it were my second lips. I hope this helps abandon more vaginas and clits in favor of anuses. AO rules!

That’s excellent advice, and rimming as an introduction to anal and regular part of the anal warmup/preparation process is a great way to relax and be ready for penetration. It feels amazing, and more women are admitting to liking it more than cunnilingus, which makes it even easier to consider total vaginal abandonment in favor of anal only.

Melissa: Hi again, thank you for your answer. Double anal with a toy has already become a regular part of our sexual routine, and I really enjoy it. But I find myself struggling emotionally with the idea of having a sex session that includes another person alongside my husband. Why does double anal with a toy feel comfortable and natural, yet the thought of including another man in our sex life feels like a betrayal to my husband or even our marriage? Any advice how I can understand these conflicting feelings and work through them? Last but not least satisfy my husbands needs (and somehow mine too)?

It sounds like you love the stimulation and thrill of the act of double anal but have a strong monogomous nature where you want to stay loyal to your husband only. That’s not inherently a bad thing at all, and it may be a sign that experimenting with including other partners may not fit well for your needs.

For some, it is possible to more easily include other partners without emotional intimacy being a factor, while for others it can be hard to separate intimacy, romance and the emotional connection from the physical sex. If you’re able to have a conversation with your husband about this and discuss both of your perspectives, maybe you can come to an agreement on a scenario where you’re more open to the idea, but if not, maybe you can compromise with making double anal with a toy your new full time normal and go double anal only together in that way, or consider getting a sex machine as the second “partner” for a bit more autonomy in motion for thrusting, etc.

Either way, I hope that you’re able to come up with something that is satisfactory for the both of you and allows you to explore what you want!

Melissa: Hi everyone, I’ve been happily married for almost 10 years. For the past 12 years, I have only done anal sex. In the last couple of years, my husband and I have been sporadically enjoying double anal with a toy, which I really like.

Recently, my husband started expressing his interest a few times in stepping up to real double anal that includes a friend of his or going to a swinger club, like a “sharing your wife” or “gangbang” event. I told him I needed time to think about it. Internally I was shocked! I was raised in a Christian family, though I am not very religious anymore, but some values from that background still influence me in my world views.

I have secretly dreamed though about being in a double anal gangbang, but this is just a fantasy my husband doesn’t know about.

This is a topic I don’t want to discuss with my friends nor with my husband. I hope to find advice here.

My concerns are these: His request makes me feel as if I’m not good enough for him anymore or wonder if he loves me less. Taking this step makes me feel like I might be betraying him and our marriage or even becoming a “whore” because now I had sex with more men.

Also, what if I like this new experience and it changes our relationship because I want to have it on a regular basis? How do I handle the possible changes?

It sounds like you have a wonderful life and marriage, and it’s so fantastic that you’ve been anal only for the past 12 years. That’s definitely something to be proud of!

It sounds like the physicality of double anal is already something that you enjoy, as is the fantasy of a gangbang, but you aren’t sure if you want to take that step with additional partners. I would suggest making double anal a more regular thing with your husband and toys, leaning into the fantasy together but still with just the two of you, and then after a few months, revisit the idea and discuss together how you would like to approach trying it, and talk through potential concerns. You say that you don’t want to discuss it with him, but communication in the relationship is key with anything, especially something like this.

I will say this: your husband wanting to try this you is not likely a sign he loves you less, but likely that he adores you and wants to try something you both enjoy together along with additional partners. It’s not a betrayal of him or becoming a “whore”, it’s a celebration of what you have together and expanding it to trying an experience that you might both love.

Very likely you will both love the experience and want to do it more regularly. Having that baseline of regular DAP with a toy will help with that as you decide how best to introduce other partners into your routine.

Francesca: Hi everyone, so… what does really qualifies someone as living a double anal only lifestyle?

I’m living with my new partner, and we love watching hardcore porn together, always focused on pure anal and double anal, no pussy at all. The latter annoys me more then my partner. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I had anything in my vagina, not even a toy. When we have sex, usually about three times a week, we start directly with anal. But I get impatient pretty fast and make my boyfriend take out my beloved artificial dick and put it in my ass too, even if it’s a bit uncomfortable at first. I’m willing to accept that small discomfort to satisfy my craving for double anal.

Does this count as a double anal only lifestyle, even though we usually start with single anal for a minute or two? Or am I missing something? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Thanks for reaching out! I would classify that as double anal always/mostly, and well on its way to double anal only. A minute or two isn’t much single anal, but it’s still a little bit. Once you get to the point that you don’t consider any single anal fucking as part of sex, and always go straight to sliding one in and then the other to get started, or both together, that’s when I think the pure double anal only mindset kicks in.

That’s not meant to lessen what you’re doing, though, I think it’s wonderful that you’re at this point, and encourage you to keep it up and maybe even consider taking the last little step to pure DAO.

Eva & Michael: Hey folks, just wanted to pop in and share a little slice of our delightfully naughty life from somewhere in Europe. Happily married with kids, we stumbled upon this blog a while back that helped us open some pretty wild doors, so thought it’d be only fair to give a little something back.

It all started innocently enough when our kids were little and we enjoyed loads of couple time at home, often surfing the porn waves together. Slowly but surely, we veered into anal centric territory. We discovered double anal. She liked the look of it and we dived headfirst into DAP (with a toy), and… my wife downright fell in love with it. These days, she’s pretty much “Double Anal Only” and proud of it.

Now that the kids have outgrown the baby stage, we get to ditch them with their grandparents for a couple of days and hit the swinger clubs about once or twice a month to fortify our relationship, to recharge and play a little.

My wife’s a force of nature: bold, brash, sometimes cocky and chose to be on a to disrupt old-school thinking. She targets “couple nights” at the clubs, gets chatting, and susses out which women are stuck in the “pussy only” mindset versus those who might dare to try max anal. We usually end up in a fun little orgy with one or two of those more conservative couples.

Always condoms, naturally.

When things get hot and heavy, my wife either taps me or another guy in the group to get the party started in her ass… and that’s when she hits full ecstatic mode. The men get the real full DAP thrill, and the women? Well, some get envious and want to jump on the bandwagon and try it out, but most blush hard. BUT all of them head home with their partners confronting some new and very intense bedroom expectations. Either way, she’s pumped when her plan works.

So yeah, this blog helped us explore and embrace things many shy away from, and we hope sharing our little happy marriage receipt inspires a few more to open their minds and, well, their horizons.

That’s so great to hear, anal only and double anal evangelism really go a long way in encouraging more people to try. Have you had many AO/DAP converts as a result? It’s also awesome to hear that your wife is basically double anal only at this point herself! Any plans to make that full strict DAO in the future?

Lilly: Hey everyone, I wanted to get some advice on something new I’m thinking about.

I first found out about anal when I was 16 and with my first boyfriend. Since then, anal sex became kind of my go-to because it was easier sometimes than dealing with condoms or the pill. I’m 23 now and currently with my boyfriend, who’s 28. We’ve been together for almost 9 months.

Sometimes we watch porn together, mostly group sex. It really turns me on. I love to watch it with him and don’t like watching it alone either. Usually, I ask him to search for something rougher, and we stumbled upon some scenes with double anal that I find insanely hot. I think he’s noticed that too.

Recently, during one of those scenes, we started talking, we were joking about DAP and we got somehow to a point he asked if I would ever consider trying double anal with one of his friends as a birthday present for him. I asked him if he was serious and I told him I’d need to think about it.

Honestly, I don’t want to chicken out because this is something I really want to try and I also would like to make him this birthday gift. But I’ve never done double anal play with a dildo or anything, and his birthday is coming up soon. I’m worried I might not have enough time to train and prepare.

So, here are my questions:

1) Since I do anal regularly, how hard is it to train for double anal play quickly?

2) If I do try it but I’m not 100% prepared physically (I can see myself so eager to try it, that I go hard on them and not feel any signals my body might be giving), am I at risk of permanent damage?

3) Also, could doing something like this ruin my relationship or affect how people see me?

Anyone who’s been down this path or has tips, please share. I want to do this safely but also don’t want to miss out on something hot just because I’m scared or overly cautious.

Thanks so much for sharing and reaching out, it sounds like you have a wonderful opportunity to explore a shared fantasy. I would suggest not going too fast with this plan, though, and making sure that you’re actually ready for it first!

Doing anal regularly is a great first step, it means your anus is likely well-conditioned and in a good place to stretch open more pretty quickly and easily without injury. You still want to avoid going about it too quickly and listening to your body, though.

I strongly suggest trying it first with two dildos, or with your boyfriend and a dildo to ease into it, and do that half a dozen times or so at least until you’re comfortable doing it without discomfort/injury, and then try introducing another partner into the mix.

There’s always a chance of relationship strain when introducing new partners, so you should discuss this thoroughly before trying it in reality to make sure you both actually want it and are on the same page and how to deal with potential jealousy before it arises. You may find that you really want to stick with his cock and a dildo instead.

For more specifics, check out our Guide to Double Anal Sex.

DAP Anal Slut: Curious what everyone’s views on multiple partners is for those who frequently have DAP with two partners? Do you feel part of existing communities like swinging groups, fetish groups or poly communities? How about thoughts on monogamy as someone who has DAP with two partners?

I’m curious about the shift in attitude on these things as we societally shift towards being anal only and in turn more heavily DAP and TAP focused. I’m in a lesbian relationship and have DAP with toys but would love to have it with two partners however the logistics of this is a barrier versus a store bought friend. Interested if similar DAP fantasies have changed your relationships over time after bringing in other partners, either just for sex or romantically.

I welcome more input from other DAP/DAO people in the comments, but in my experience a lot of DAP-focused and double anal only women have either embraced the lifestyle with a current partner plus a dildo, or by seeking an additional partner and at first just including them intermittently but then over time if things work out, adding them as a full-time part of the relationship. My sense is that MMF relationships will become much more common as DAP becomes the norm.

Plugged Anal Whore: What happened to the old Anal Only October posts? I think we should bring it back with a Double Anal October month.

Obviously anal is the new standard so makes sense we don’t need to make general anal only a challenge but for the people who aren’t already—double anal only is the clear next step.

For those of us already proficient, I think Triple Anal October could be a good one…

We never really had an Anal Only October, but we have promoted Anal Only April, Anal Only August and No Pussy November. We also have done a Double Anal December challenge month in the past. At this point we mostly formally feature No Pussy November each year, while encouraging people to do their own challenge month outside of that for whatever goal they have.

100% agree that Double Anal Only is an important challenge for anyone already anal only and interested in going further!

sdfa: Amazing how many people find excluding pussy from sex attractive. While other way around, nobody. Even if some people don’t like anal, nobody is interested in 0% asshole category.

I’m sure there are some silly prudes out there who want 0% anal, but those people are being left behind as the world moves away from vaginal to anal only. The reality is that anal is better for most people, and the more people experiment with it, the more they go anal mostly, anal only, or double anal only. People who are anal only rarely experiment with vaginal, and if they do, it usually makes them even more devoted to go back to pure anal only.