An article which is picking up on how, because of the greater pleasure and intimacy of anal it is now slowly becoming the principle sexual act.

Backdoor entry is now so mainstream, some guys request it on the first date. So, what’s your take on the once-taboo act?

The article starts out by discussing one couple:

The very first time they slept together, they had anal sex. Miss Ladylike had never tried it before. For the next five months, anal was the only kind of sex they had.

It then goes on to talk about other men and women, and the importance of anal sex in their lives.

Read more here.

dr-yueh: There’s another thing that’s often missed – in addition to anal feeling great to the participants. Well too often, couples get bored sexually and even cease having an active love life, but with anal which is more involved, exciting and intimate I just don’t see that happening. For the long term that’s a real advantage – maybe why subconsciously many actively crave anal only in the first place.

It’s a huge advantage, and I’ve talked with multiple couples who have said anal and going anal only saved their relationship from a dead sex life. It gives them needed intimacy, doesn’t get boring in the way anal does, builds trust, and reignites the spark they had lost.

Thanks to an anonymous follower for requesting this. It was a great idea, and I’m glad to be able to post this. If anyone has any other myths that should be added, either submit or reply and I can write a Part 2 later.

Myth #1: Anal Sex is Painful

The anus exists in a tight, compressed state when at rest, and you have to “flex” the muscle in order to loosen it, such as when you go to the bathroom. People just starting with anal sex have less control over their anal sphincter than those with experience, and may find it difficult to sufficiently relax it enough on their own to be able to fit a penis comfortably. This is why it’s so important for most people not to jump straight into anal sex and instead to slowly build up with smaller objects like fingers and toys. If anal penetration ever hurts, you’re going too fast and need to take things more slowly and use smaller objects initially. With enough lube and the right sized object for your present ability, it should not hurt. It might feel weird, because it’s a new sensation, but pain should not be involved. If it does hurt, stop doing it and try again later, more slowly. As you become more experienced with anal, you will gain greater muscle control and can relax at will, making it easier to accommodate larger objects without a lot of foreplay and warmup. One great way of relaxing the area before anal play is to have one or more orgasms just before trying to put anything up your butt.

Myth #2: Anal Sex is Dirty

A common argument by people who are unwilling to consider attempting anal is “but I poop from there!” The reality is, if you have a good diet with enough dietary fiber and do not need to imminently use the restroom, your rectum should be free of solid fecal matter. It only exits the sigmoid colon into the rectum when it’s time to use the restroom. As long as you go to the bathroom within an hour before, you are very likely to have an empty rectum. Taking a shower and scrubbing the anal area clean with soap can be a good idea right before sex, especially if you want to receive analingus. If you are very concerned, you can use an anal douche to flush out your rectum with warm water, but it is considered unhealthy to do this regularly as it may also flush out good bacteria that aid digestion. After anal sex, the participating penises and anuses should just be washed clean with soap and water and the penetrating males should urinate soon after to avoid bacteria causing an infection in their urethra, rare though it may be for that to occur.

Myth #3: Women Do Not Enjoy Anal Sex

It is a commonly repeated myth that only men get any pleasure from anal sex and women only do it, putting up with the pain and discomfort, to please their men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most women who have experienced anal sex more than a few times enjoy it as much or more than vaginal sex. Clitoral stimulation is needed for most women to be able to orgasm during vaginal sex, with the actual vaginal penetration itself unable to cause orgasm. Anal penetration, however, can often cause orgasms directly, without any external clitoral stimulation at all, due to the internal structure of the clitoris sometimes extending to areas within the rectum, and even when women are unable to orgasm directly from anal, the orgasm from clitoral stimulation while receiving anal penetration is often greatly amplified and reported to be among the best kind of orgasms the women have ever had.

Myth #4: Anal Sex is Wrong or Unnatural

Because the vagina is the female reproductive organ, many people assume that it has to be used for sex, even when that sex is purely for pleasure and not intended for reproduction at all. They say nature intended sex to be had using the vagina, which in one sense is correct—but nature only cares about reproduction, while we care more about pleasure and intimacy with our partners. In general, these people are not resistant to receiving oral sex, even though that is “unnatural” by the same standard. People resistant to trying new things and not confident in the entirety of their body and sexuality can sometimes be quick to classify something out of the norm as “wrong”, “unnatural” or “perverted” because it makes them uncomfortable to think about it. It’s just a dismissive attack to try and make people feel bad for liking something. There’s nothing ever wrong about people’s personal preferences or trying new things with their own body or with other consenting adults.

Myth #5: Anal Sex is Dangerous and Causes Permanent Damage

There are many such claims, including that it causes anal incontinence, hemorrhoids, rectal prolapse, etc. If you approach it properly, use lube, do not do anything painful, and always make sure you’re warmed up enough beforehand, you will not cause permanent damage as a result of anal sex. Frequent anal sex can actually help you strengthen your anal muscles, giving you greater control over the area, not less—reducing your chances of incontinence later in life. Hemorrhoids can be caused by straining on the toilet as a result of an overly tight anus and insufficient anal control. Rectal prolapse can sometimes be caused by extreme anal play, but is incredibly uncommon as a result of regular anal sex unless there are preexisting conditions that likely would have resulted in rectal prolapse anyway—and there are many who engage in extreme anal play with no prolapse or other side effects either. The anus and rectum can stretch incredibly large without damage as long as you use sufficient lube and only increase it in size very gradually—and they return back to normal size and tightness within several hours.

Myth #6: Anal Sex is Gay

This is wrong on two counts: it first implies that there’s anything wrong with being gay, which there is certainly not, but it also tries to claim that a sex act that some gay men perform makes all male participants gay, even when they only want to perform it with women. Sex acts do not make a person gay, only who you want to have sex with. People don’t call men gay because they receive blowjobs from women, even though oral sex is more popular among the gay community than anal. Wanting to have anal sex with women doesn’t make you gay, it makes you someone who wants to have anal sex with women.

A young woman writes:

My boyfriend and I met three years ago. We were both virgins at the time and in high school. We only had anal sex because I didn’t want to get pregnant. We both enjoyed it and I could even have great orgasms.

Now we’re in college, and I got a prescription for birth control. When we tried sex in my vagina, we were both disappointed. It just didn’t seem that good compared to anal sex. It feels good and all, but I can’t even orgasm from it. We’ve been trying it off an on for a few months now, but both really prefer anal sex?

Could there be something wrong with me, or do some women just prefer anal sex?

Naturally after enjoying anal sex, the feeling of vaginal sex may feel muted and unexciting. They had had no preconceptions before, about which would be better for them, but still societal ‘norms’ have caused them to have undue concerns.

One person even suggest they make a rule about having less anal sex as an attempt to force them into liking vaginal. Why, when they are happy doing what comes naturally to them?

dr-yueh: Hello. Just signed up to tumblr just so I could follow this blog! The “lifestyle” looks to be becoming something of a phenomenon. I’ve always had a fascination with everything anal. I think my first fantasies were about anal rather than vaginal sex, which has never done anything for me at all. Which has made life complicated at times as you can guess. It feels good to be part of something/belonging. Please don’t stop posting positive stories and the truth about anal!

I’m right with you on my first fantasies being about anal rather than vaginal. When I first viewed porn, I was completely turned off by vulvas and vaginas—but not by women in general. I don’t recall when I began watching anal porn primarily instead to avoid viewing vaginal penetration, but it must have been quite early on, because I hardly remember a time when I wasn’t predominantly attracted to anal porn and anal sex.

Anonymous: looks like you got a good debate going on. my 2 cents: people are so hung up on the reproductive aspect, so you get this cognitive dissonance. in their minds the vagina has to be best, but their senses tell them otherwise. they don’t see that sex and reproduction can be 2 different things, and maybe the anus has been adapting with humans through the ages as part of all this. why else would people have such a keen interest in anal otherwise? what do the rest of you think?

It makes sense that pleasure and reproduction can be separate. The vagina provides an essential purpose for life, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the best for pleasure. Anal provides more pleasure and intimacy, without any reproductive associations. This seems perfect and ideal. Natural birth control. Better pleasure. Reproduction when and if you want it, with no unwanted surprises.

analk1ng: I find it interesting that different people are coming forward saying how that anal not only is a natural thing to do, or want to do, but actually looks and feels more natural than vaginal which has always been more or less in line with my thoughts on the subject. I look forward to more discussion on this topic. Could it be just the lack or platform for “anal only” meant these feelings just haven’t been shared previously?

I really think that’s the case. It can be hard to admit things if you aren’t aware that other people share your opinion. A lot of people think they’re supposed to prefer vaginal sex, because it’s “normal” and biologically intended for reproduction. But the thing is, we as a species rarely have sex for reproductive purposes, we’re doing it purely for pleasure and intimacy, so that argument in favor of vaginal sex is irrelevant and shouldn’t be used. As more people recognize this, and as more open discussion is had on the subject, in a tolerant and safe environment for people to admit their preferences, I think the truth will come out and even more people will admit their preference for anal sex.

The last 3 times we have done it i climaxed so have actually started asking for anal which he finds hilarious. As i really hated it. I’m a true convert. It feels so good we have both climaxed together which for me was incredible. He finds the climax much more intense this way.

From here.

Anonymous: I’m glad you have discussed and reported on how women have more intense orgasms from anal, but please don’t forget men. I don’t see it mentioned, and many would be interested to know, that it is also much more intense for us two. There is no competition from vaginal or oral as far as I’m concerned. For those who haven’t tried it’ll blow you away. It is both longer and stronger. I believe this may be part of the explanation for why we often get that “boredom”; with any other sex.

A very good point. Most of the content here has been focusing on women who love anal, partly because it is commonly accepted by many that men love anal while women do not. But that can actually be a bit of deceiving, and there are male misconceptions as well. Anal is definitely a tighter fit for men, and can feel more primal and natural, with a more snug fit around the penis than the vagina provides, and the combination of the texture and tightness feels better than a vagina for many men. It also looks more visually striking and appealing.

This post refers to a gif that is no longer part of this blog. It illustrated the contrast between an empty vagina and a full anus as something very visually stimulating and natural looking.

Anonymous: Wow that latest gif is hot. Not only that…but others agree that anal looks like the way sex should be between a guy and a girl – “natural” as you called it. I’ve always kept that thought to myself till now. Liking the blog so much.