Category: Anal Myths

This category contains posts that discuss common myths. For more information, see our list of Common Myths & Fears About Anal Sex and Long-term Health.


Discussion: How Can You Have Anal Sex and Keep Your Anus Unchanged?

This Quora discussion gets into the common myth of anal sex causing damage or permanent alteration of the anus, and whether it’s possible to have anal without causing such harm.

Very easy. The human anus is made of muscle. It is able to stretch and accommodate the passage of objects larger in size than a human penis. Like any other muscle in the body, it is able to stretch out and then return to its original size, shape, and physiological state. In fact, just like any other muscle in the body, the more it is exercised the stronger it gets!

Michael McClennen, Quora

By going slowly, stopping when it hurts, and using enough lubrication.

When done correctly, anal sex does not do damage to the body. It is important that the person who is being penetrated is relaxed and aroused, and that a lot of lubrication is used to reduce friction. STOP when it hurts. Go slower.

That is how.

Elizabeth Retief, Quora

Much of the myth and confusion surrounding this topic relates to the fact that by having anal sex or masturbating anally on a regular basis, you’re not only strengthening your anal muscles but keeping them much more active and warmed up, which makes it much easier to relax them. Some people confuse this with the idea of them being “loose” or “stretched”, as if that’s some sort of permanent state. But there’s no loss of control, there’s in fact an increase in control, and it’s easy to loosen or tighten them at will. The default resting state is still for the anus to be closed and tight, but it can open up for sex much more easily with experience and practice.

Continue reading on Quora

Article: Teen Vogue is Teaching Sex Ed the Way Public Education Should

On July 7, Teen Vogue published a column titled “Anal Sex: What You Need to Know.” The article detailed the benefits and nitty-gritty details of what it’s like going in the back door, from how to approach anal sex with your partner to what to expect during your first attempt. They claimed the guide was the “anal 101 for teens, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.”

Needless to say, conservatives were not pleased about it.

Within the following weeks, Fox NewsBreitbart, and other conservative news outlets wrote their responses to the article, criticizing the piece and calling it “agenda driven” and “smut.” A mom blogger called The Activist Mommy even posted a videoof her burning the issue, calling for a boycott of Teen Vogue for “teaching sodomy to our children.” It’s no surprise that some people didn’t like it, but some went as far to say that it was a “parent” issue — that talking about sex with teens was not okay.

Continue reading at Odyssey

Discussion: Why Don’t Women Like Anal Sex?

That’s the question a Quora user asks, and they receive a diverse set of answers, some far better than others, but the best answer is:

Some women do not like anal sex. They have tried it, but it was painful, or it was done incorrectly, or they didn’t enjoy the sensation, or any number of other reasons.

Some women have never tried it, and have no desire to, because they think it’s gross, or unnatural, or will be painful.

Some women have never tried it, but would like to.

Some women greatly enjoy anal sex.

There is no singular ‘why’ here, because it’s factually untrue that all women dislike anal sex.

Jeremy Glenesk, Quora

Continue reading on Quora

Discussion: Can Men Get Addicted to Anal Sex?

A user on Quora asks this question, which prompts the following response:

No. Sex addiction does not exist, period. If you don’t like that, don’t argue with me, argue with the DSM-V and the American Medical Association, they’re the ones who made the decision. Frankly, I trust them over the religious nuts and con artists who came up with the concept of sex addiction, but I suppose you’re free to make that call for yourself.

Sex addiction of any kind does not exist. This includes anal sex.

Vivian Mackenzie Mandelbrot, Quora

While this is the correct response in the true technical sense of addiction, what the original user may have been asking was more along the lines of the common usage of the term.

It’s not going to cause an unhealthy addiction to anal sex, but the frequent practice of anal sex and the subsequent realization of how much better it is than vaginal is going to cause most men to definitely prefer and prioritize anal sex, and in many cases to want to have anal sex exclusively and stop all comparatively unnecessary vaginal activities.

This is normal and expected. If you prefer anal and don’t want to do vaginal anymore, don’t do it.

Continue reading on Quora

Discussion: Is it ok to have anal sex with your wife?

From today’s edition of Silly Questions From Quora, a user asks what should be a blindingly obvious question of whether it’s okay to have anal sex with one’s wife.

The answers are all good and focus on the importance of consent while remaining sex positive and making it clear that if both partners enjoy and want anal sex, then they can and should do it.

One answer goes above and beyond and makes it clear just how much women can enjoy anal sex:

I do anal every time me and my husband have sex. Its usually everyday. Sometimes six days a week.

We have vaginal first with a plug to get me ready. I orgasm at least 3 times. Then take the plug out and have 2 other orgasms during anal. Fun times. Been together for 13 years and married 7.

So yah it’s ok, for me at least!

Bonnie Smith, Quora

Given the anal only nature of this blog, we would be remiss if we didn’t suggest that moving away from vaginal even as a means of foreplay would be an even better experience, but ultimately it’s up to each person’s individual preferences and needs. It’s clear that for this person, anal is already the priority and primary means of sexual activity and pleasure and everything else builds up to it, but by eliminating vaginal it can make the anal that much better.

Continue reading on Quora

Discussion: Is It Normal for Women to Have Anal Sex?

That’s the question a Quora user asks, and thanks to the growing popularity and normalization of anal sex, they get some excellent responses!

Yes, anal sex has been practiced for millennia, both heterosexual and homosexual. More women are engaging in it these days, so it’s important to know how to do it correctly because, if you get it wrong, the result can be painful and possibly injurious.

Hombre Serious, Quora

It is very normal nowadays amongst women to have anal sex. Anal sex is considered to. be more enjoyable than other positions while having sex.
The only thing precautionary in Anal Sex is to go about very slow and be caring about your Partner. Being Selfish while performing Anal Sex can lead to Relationship issues on longterm basis.

Harley Julep, Quora

Continue reading and add your own response on Quora

Article: Why Women Should Have Anal Sex

Anal sex gets a bad rap. It’s not hard to understand why. It’s been considered taboo for centuries and often considered to foster homosexual tendencies. But I am a warm blooded woman that happens to love anal sex.

I get why (even I back then) women are cringing at the thought of a man’s you know what coming even close to their back doors. It’s a sexual act only shown on the adult websites and never in coming of age or romantic movies. It’s been made to sound painful and dangerous by scores of women that had a terrible experience with it. Awful, because I feel sorry for their experience, yet that’s understandable. But even more appalling are the ridiculous articles by women who do love anal sex as a degradation to the female race.

Continue reading on Thought Catalog

Article: Expert Tips on How to Have Clean Anal Sex That Doesn’t Hurt

Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of Pleasure: A Women’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need, and Deserve, loves sex toys, believes the world is much too porno-phobic, and thinks more women should give anal sex a try.

In other words, she’s the gynecologist every guy wants his girlfriend to meet.

Among the many sexually taboo topics, anal sex is probably one of the most well known.

All guys seem to want it, while all girls seem to hate it.

But Dr. Hutcherson believes that more women might actually find out that they like it if they give it a try. Women who don’t enjoy anal sex, she says, are probably doing it wrong.

Continue reading on Your Tango

Discussion: How Do I Make My Anus Go Back to its Normal Size After Anal Sex?

That’s the question a Quora user asks. The majority of responses give the correct answer, namely that this happens normally and naturally and that anal sex does not cause one to become permanently “loose”.

Your anus will resume its normal size after anal sex. During and immediately after anal sex, it’s normal for the anus to gape open, but it will quickly return to normal.

It’s a myth that anal sex will “ruin” your anus. I’ve been enjoying anal sex for sixteen years and my anus is as tight as it ever was. What does happen with regular anal experience is you learn to relax your anus quickly to stimulation so that penetration is quicker and easier.

I had regular anal sex with my partner for past 10 years and my anus is same size as ever. My younger sister wo wants to retain her virginity till marriage is also having anal sex with her bf on regular basis and no change in size. Yes, post sex its a bit open for an hour os si but will go back to its normal size after that.

One response suggests they experienced permanent change:

Just like yours, my anus does not really go back to its size anymore. I stopped worrying about a couple of years ago. Guys actually seem to like it now even more after it became lippy and more open.

Since all of the sex I have (including masturbation) is purely anal, it did have long term effects on my anus.

However, since they exclusively have anal sex and masturbate anally regularly, it is far more likely that they simply are more relaxed and prepared for anal sex because they are doing it frequently, and know how to relax their anal muscles easily and at-will, which can even happen subconsciously. Even people who are extremely experienced with anal need to train and warm up again if they go for a few weeks, months or longer without any anal penetration. Actual long-term looseness only happens as a result of nerve damage, which is extremely rare.

Anal Sex in Porn vs. Real Life

Many people’s first introduction to the idea of anal sex is through pornography. While there are certainly those who simply choose to try it on their own, either through curiosity and experimentation with their own body, or with a partner, many see it in porn and are drawn to how sexy and appealing and pleasurable it looks there. And it’s true—it is sex, appealing and pleasurable.

But porn is entertainment, not real life, and while it can provide positive exposure to anal and show people its ideal form and how appealing it can be, it doesn’t show the full picture.

Anal Porn Doesn’t Represent Proper Training and Warmup Techniques

Anal sex requires anal training and warmup of the anal muscles beforehand for most people in order to be safely enjoyed without pain, discomfort or injury. This involves gradually stretching and warming up the muscles with smaller toys or objects, working up in size until anal sex itself can be enjoyed.

Most people need to go through an extended period of anal training for days or weeks or potentially even longer, depending on their own personal needs, before they’re ready to even try anal sex. Even once that initial training has been done, foreplay is needed to relax in the moment and prepare for sex, whether through rimming, fingering, butt plug wear before sex, or the use of a smaller dildo.

Porn often doesn’t show these steps. Some porn producers have gotten better about this and include it as part of the start of a scene, with an actor starting the scene wearing a butt plug, removing it, enjoying some rimming and fingering, and then moving on to sex. But there is still a lot where the warmup was done off-camera and they’re ready to go when the scene starts. For entertainment purposes, there’s a lot to be said for doing it this way, it just needs to be understood by anyone looking to try it themselves that they will most likely need more than what is shown on-camera.

Anal Porn Often Doesn’t Show Proper Lubrication Techniques

Anal sex requires supplemental lubrication of some sort, whether artificial lube, vaginal juices, or saliva. Aside from the lucky few who produce an increased amount of anal mucous and can enjoy anal sex without adding any other lube, the anus is not self-lubricating.

Watching porn, however, you often wouldn’t know that. Most anal scenes start with the actors simply sliding into the women’s anuses with no preparation, or with just a little bit of spit. Again, this is generally because they’re already warmed up and pre-lubricated internally, and the addition of saliva is just enough to get inside and access the other lube.

There are certainly those who have anal sex regularly enough that they don’t need much more than saliva and their natural anal mucous to enjoy sex, but that’s an advanced technique that doesn’t apply to most people, and usually should not be attempted by beginners unless they’re confident that it works for them.

Anal Porn Doesn’t Show Hygiene Techniques

A big issue some people have when reconciling their anal experiences with those shown in porn is the cleanliness factor. By the very nature of having sex in the anus and rectum, you’re interacting with a place that also holds and transports feces, so cleanliness is a common concern for many people. In porn, anal sex is always spotless, and this can set a false expectation of anal sex for people whose only experience is through porn.

In reality, porn actors often fast in advance of anal scenes, do enemas, and in the event any mess happens during the shoot, cut, clean up, and edit that out. We’re all humans, we all poop, and inevitably there will be some messiness as a result of anal sex if you do it enough.

If you’re mature about it and understand that sometimes it might just get messy and it’s not a big deal to just clean up if that happens, you can have a sustainable and usually quite clean experience with a healthy, balanced high-fiber diet and supplemental use of a small anal douche/enema bulb.

Pornography is a Visual Medium

Because porn is a visual form of entertainment, many compromises are made to add to the aesthetic nature of the scene, which in practice is often not ideal for actual sex.

Positions are optimized for visual access and being able to see penetration, rather than for pleasure or intimacy. Positions that people may prefer in real life are often ignored in favor of ones that look good on camera even if they aren’t as pleasurable.

Ejaculation is often done externally rather than internally, or even if it is internal, it’s done in a shallow manner so it can be pushed out afterwards for the camera. In real life, deeper ejaculation is usually preferred, both for mutual pleasure and to keep the ejaculate deep inside where it can be absorbed or plugged inside to stay throughout the day.

Anal Porn Actors Are Professionals With a Lot of Experience

Porn often shows quite deep, fast, aggressive anal, as well as advanced techniques such as the use of large toys, double and triple anal penetration, fisting, etc. These are all things that can be safely enjoyed by ordinary people as well, if that’s something that interests you, but you need to start small and slow and work your way up to that gradually, listening to your body along the way.

The majority of people probably won’t be personally interested in those things, and that’s fine too, but even with just a single partner, it’s good to know your limits and recognize that what you see in porn and may want to mimic is being done by experienced professionals, and you may not be able to just dive right in to that same level immediately. Enjoy and be entertained and inspired by porn, but don’t use it as an informative education. Do a lot of additional research. Read our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle. Ask questions. Experiment and explore, on your own and with a partner.