Message: Want To Do Anal Every Time, But She Gets Sore

Anonymous: I fuck my girlfriend in the ass about once a week. We both enjoy it, and she has great orgasms, but she says it makes her too sore to have it more often. I really want to be able to fuck her ass every time we have sex. She said she would too if she didn’t get so sore. Is there anything we can do to keep her from getting so sore so we can be anal only? It’s the only time we can fuck without using a condom.

It sounds like you need to spend some more time on warmup and ease into things a bit more, as well as perhaps doing some lower intensity anal play more often. I would suggest that you let her go a week or so to get over any soreness after her last anal session, but then rather than having anal sex, start doing lots of anal play alongside other sexual activities. Have her wear a plug, both during oral/vaginal sex, and at other times. Doing this 3 – 5 times a week, if not daily, can really start to make a difference over the course of a week or so, even if just for a relatively short amount of time each day.

When you do have anal sex the next time, have her wear her plug first, then warm her up some more with fingers or a toy before having sex. This helps warm up her muscles and relax so that soreness is less likely to occur.

From there, return to your once a week anal session but keep up the anal play in the meantime as long as she’s not too sore for it. If after a week or two she’s able to do both with less soreness, try going to anal sex twice a week, and keep working up from there. You can absolutely get to the point where she can have anal sex daily, if not more than once a day, without getting sore, it just takes time and gradually working towards that goal, and then maintaining a relatively consistent routine so that her ass stays in that state where it’s ready for sex regularly.

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