Message: Testing the Waters With Anal Only

Anonymous: Anon female from 12/12 here again. So I decided to test the waters and see how anal only would work for us. He was very sure that’s what he wanted but I wanted to see if he’d just work it out of his system. So, it’s not been that bad, finding I don’t think about vaginal as much as I expected. However, even though I always enjoy the sex and the huge Os, his needs are greater than mine. Despite lots of lube I’m sometimes a little sore back there after. Does this ever settle down? Or must I quit?

There are different kinds of soreness. A low level soreness like after a workout is not entirely uncommon for many people from either vaginal or anal sex. But if it’s more of a stinging or burning pain like from a minor tear or abrasion or a strained muscle, it may be that you haven’t warmed up enough before. To a certain extent this can be more common when starting out, but it is still good even when more experienced to warm up before sex to loosen/relax the muscles in advance.

The use of a butt plug before sex, and even when not having sex, can be excellent to help train the muscles and develop more conscious control to loosen at will. Working up from one finger to several before sex can also be a good warmup.

To fully answer your question: unpleasant soreness from regular anal is not something that you are destined to continue experiencing. Ideally it shouldn’t be happening at all, and if it is, you need to warm up more or do some more anal play in between having sex. Lube is important, but so are other forms of preparation. And the more you do it, more consistently you keep up an anal routine, the less you’ll experience any soreness or discomfort.

I’m glad to hear that you’ve otherwise been having a good time with anal only. It’s perhaps somewhat surprisingly not too uncommon to hear from women who find that they don’t really miss vaginal sex once they go anal only.

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