Message: Need Anal Training, But I Don’t Like Masturbating?

Anonymous: I’m a girl who’s never masturbated or played with my clit much, I like the idea of sex being more about mutual pleasure and it just seems selfish to rub my clit and makes me feel bad. I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I want to go anal only, and my boyfriend is on board, but I need to train my ass before I can do it every day. We do it sometimes together but I need to do it more often than he has time for. How can I get past the feeling of it being masturbation so I can do it more?

Inherently there’s nothing wrong with masturbation, but I’ve known a number of women who have a similar perspective as your own, and as long as you’re happy and it’s what you want, there’s nothing wrong with avoiding it either, especially if you have a healthy sex life.

I’ve also talked with other women in similar scenarios, where they or their partner wants to be anal only but struggle with pain/discomfort from doing it too frequently and need more practice, but don’t want to masturbate and so end up in a somewhat frustrating cycle.

I’d suggest considering it as not being something selfish because you’re preparing and training yourself for a mutually pleasurable anal only future together. Make your boyfriend a part of it as often as you can, but think of your solo anal masturbation time as anal training for when you are together, and I think it will come a lot easier to you and you’ll be able and eager to go anal only sooner than you think.

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