Message: Fade Away

Anonymous: Some advice to the woman whose boyfriend is pressuring her to be anal only. I’m a woman who enjoys both vaginal and anal, and they’re great when both partners respect each other. But it sounds like your guy is being selfish. Personally, I’d let the relationship fade away. Just gradually spend less time with him each week, until he leaves. And then find a man who treats you as an equal. They definitely exist, and make much better partners 🙂

If someone feels pressured to do things they don’t want to do, then of course it is plausible that there is sexual incompatibility and they are better off looking for other partners. However, it often is not that clear cut, and it’s absolutely just as fair that he doesn’t want to have vaginal sex or be pressured into it either. Not wanting vaginal sex is not selfish. It sounds like he made his needs and requirements clear, and would understand if she didn’t want the same. He even offered an alternative if she wanted to try vaginal even though he has no interest in it himself.

I’d also advise against the fade away. It’s far better and more fair for everyone to actually communicate and if you decide to end things, have the decency to be up front about it.

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