Discussion: What should I do if my boyfriend brings up the concept of doing anal again?
That’s the question a Quora user asks, continuing:
He’s brought it up twice even though I say no and tell him that I don’t go that route. I’m starting to feel like he’ll never be pleased.
Many of the answers go into the fact that she has no obligation to do something she doesn’t want to do, which is certainly true, but they’re also generally criticizing her boyfriend and suggesting that there’s something wrong or selfish about wanting anal.
The fact that he wants it and continues to want it isn’t going to go away. It’s a common desire for a reason: anal sex is better sex, and of course people are going to want to do it.
I would encourage the original poster to try anal for herself, on her own terms, and learn how to do it right so she can really enjoy it. Once she’s ready, she can do it with her boyfriend and share that intense pleasure and intimacy with him, satisfying the both of them in the process.
No, dude. Just no. This is where this kink reaches a full stop. She doesn’t want it. She’s not obligated. She isn’t consenting to it. Him pressuring her to do something she doesn’t want to do and has said “no” to is the issue here. Don’t be creepy.
No one is suggesting anyone has any obligation to do anything they don’t want, and my response reiterates that. If she doesn’t want to, it’s as simple as that, she doesn’t need to do it.
However, when someone is opposed to something but hasn’t even tried it and just opposes it out of fear, I generally encourage them to try it on their own terms first to make an informed decision. Do they have to do what I suggest? Of course not.