Message: Girlfriend Worried Anal Will Cause Problems
Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have experimented with anal for quite a bit now; but she won’t take the plunge and actually have anal sex with me because she’s worried it’ll cause problems if it turns into a regular thing. Do you have any information or sources I can use to show her that she doesn’t need to worry about doing any damage no matter how frequently we do it as long as I warm her up correctly?
I don’t have any studies to cite (perhaps someone can respond with something) but I can cite personal experience as well as the experiences of many other people who have been having anal sex regularly for a decade or more, including some who have been in anal only relationships for extended periods of time (two decades in some cases), and have encountered no problems.
Anal sex done properly with appropriate lubrication and warmup, where it feels good and doesn’t hurt (and if it does start to hurt, you pause and adjust as needed rather than just pushing through the pain) simply doesn’t cause an issue. It’s like exercise for the anal muscles, and helps increase their flexibility, elasticity and strength. It doesn’t lead to incontinence or prolapse or whatever other myths people have about it. Even for people who do big toy play/insertions, long-term issues are rare to nonexistent.