Message: Limiting Anal Out of Fear of Getting Loose

Anonymous: Thank you for the informative blog. My wife and I thoroughly enjoy Anal and she too has much better and more powerful orgasms this way. We are careful to warm up and use lube liberally. Two questions please: 1. We impose limits on this activity out of fear that her anus muscles will loosen over time obviously effecting her quality of life. Is this a rational concern? 2. Have you ever heard of shooting/cramping pains following anal intercourse?

I’m glad to hear you’re both enjoying anal sex.

1. Safe anal sex, with proper warmup and no pain, is not known to cause any long-term issues and is believed by many who have practiced it for decades to actually tone and strengthen anal muscles. Most stories of sphincter muscle tone loss as a result of anal are the result of injuries and damage, not safe and painless sex. Extreme anal play (fisting, very large toys) may be more likely to cause issues, but even that is not guaranteed to if you play safely and warm up. There are people who have been getting anally fisted for 20+ years and report zero issues with long term looseness. It is normal to be a little looser for a little while after, of course, but things go back to normal soon enough. It’s also possible when more anally experienced for it to seem like things are looser, due to increased muscle control and the ability to loosen/relax at will. I wouldn’t be at all concerned about it when there are couples who have been having exclusively anal sex 3 to 5 times a week for decades and report zero problems and wouldn’t do anything any differently.

2. This could be due to intestinal gas getting compressed during sex and causing cramping, or it could be the angle/depth and hitting certain spots. Hitting the bend into the sigmoid colon too quickly when it’s not straightened out can cause shooting pain.

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