Month: August 2014

Discussion of the Day: She won’t have vaginal sex with me, only the back door kind!

Hi, I have been dating this girl from past 3 years now. We tried having vaginal sex many times but every time i have been unable to penetrate her for some or other reason. Either she is too scared of the pain either she is too tense etc.We tried everything from using KY to seeing a doctor also who says all is fine. As a substitute we tried having anal sex. From last 2 years we have been just doing that.

What do you know, an answer from someone who knows what they’re talking about.

I have been maried 20 years. I love anal sex, so much that it has been years since I had vaginal sex. My husband is fine with it. I like some stimulation from his hands on my clit, but having his peins in my butt is what makes me sing. So, dont worry about it. If you both like how it feels, embrace her rear end as though it were her most sarced opening. Get her some butt plugs, suggest she wear one on dates etc. It will get her even more excited. I have one that vibrates and has a remote control for the vibrator. He loves to tease me with that on dates. This one is huge, so I feel like I am really doing something special for him by having it in me all evening. Although I love to be asked to wear one of my plugs, I often just sneak on in me with out anyone knowing. Feeling it with my every move, has me very hot by the time we get home. When he discovers it in me, he is very happy.

A woman who also loves anal (and is anal only!) answering an anal question on the internet? I was starting to think it would never happen!

The rest of the commenters are incredibly unhelpful and rude, telling him he needs to break up with her immediately, that she’s a post-op transwoman, or that she needs to be pushed into switching to vaginal sex.

Did You Enjoy Anal Straight Away, or Did You Grow to Like It?

innovative-deviantWhat was the first time you did anal, and did you enjoy it straight away, or was it something that you grew to like?

giadonna: the first experience when i was about 16 was a bad one. But my boyfriend took the time to train my asshole with toys that got larger and ever since i got it to where he could just shove his big cock in without it shocking me, i’ve loved it! and now its my favorite! then sucking dick..

How to Clean Up For Anal

analfellatio: Easiest way to clean up so you dont get many particles

The way it’s done in porn is to not eat much for a day and then take enemas until you’re totally clean (and probably keep taking them throughout the shoot). But that’s not really necessary in real-world sex, and can be too much of a hassle to be doing if you want frequent anal.

In reality, you can usually control your anal cleanliness by simply eating well and wearing a butt plug for 15 to 20 minutes before fucking. A healthy, high fiber diet will ensure you stay pretty cleaned out with minimal residue, and the butt plug—which, in addition to helping warm up for anal, also stimulates the rectum and can help to move things along if you will need to use the restroom soon—generally ensure a clean ass for a while that’s primed and ready to fuck. The rectum stays empty, assuming a healthy diet, except for right when you feel the need to go to the restroom.

Ultimately, however, you’re having anal sex. Prepare for the possibility of encountering something. It’s not a big deal and you can clean off easily and move on.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

cameltoe-mccougar: Here’s the thing: getting dirty is part of playing in the sandbox.

Have anal often enough and eventually you will run into poo, no matter how much prep and cleansing you’ve done. Just a fact of anal sex life.

So simply be mentally prepared each time you have butt sex for it to possibly happen. And if you can’t keep yourself from freaking out about it, then anal sex isn’t for you.

There is no hard-and-fast rule on what will work best or perfectly for you when it comes to prepping for anal sex. Just have to experiment and see.

With my partners (and with myself when it comes to being pegged or aggressive assplay on me), I’ve found that simply having a good BM not too long before sex, then a good manual cleaning with fingers and mild soap in the shower works fine.

And just from a dietary standpoint, I know what foods affect my GI tract. Some foods will run through me quickly, some won’t. That helps with timing of anal sex for me.

Article of the Day: Anal sex study reveals climate of ‘coercion’

A study on why teenage heterosexual couples may engage in anal sex has revealed a climate of coercion, with consent and mutuality not always a priority for the boys who are trying to persuade girls into having it.

Researchers at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine interviewed 130 teenagers aged 16-18 in three sites across the country to “explore expectations, experiences and circumstances of anal sex among young people”.

The qualitative study found that anal heterosex appeared to be “painful, risky and coercive, particularly for women”, while males spoke of being expected to persuade or coerce reluctant partners.

“Anal sex is increasingly prevalent among young people, yet anal intercourse between men and women—although commonly depicted in sexually explicit media—is usually absent from mainstream sexuality education and seems unmentionable in many social contexts,” the study, published onBMJ Open, says.

It found that some young people normalised “coercive, painful and unsafe anal sex”, in an issue that needs to be addressed by health workers and schools in sex education.

All the more reason safe anal sex techniques need to be taught. No one should be coercing anyone into having anal, and if you do things properly it should never hurt or cause damage. While this study is important and reveals a problem, it’s unfortunate that the article covering it does not even bother to mention that anal sex does not hurt when done correctly and that everyone involved in this study has clearly not been informed about how to properly have anal sex without pain.

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Anal Sex Month: 8 Tips For Great Anal Sex

Here are ways make anal sex pleasurable for both you and your partner.

August is anal sex month, so I’ve put together some tips for how to try it without any pain and, possibly, find it orgasmic.

I’ll summarize the tips below and you can go to the full article to read the details of each.

  1. If you can’t see it happening, it will never happen.
  2. You must know your own body.
  3. Make sure you lubricate!
  4. Use a condom for all anal sex.
  5. Women in porn often stimulate their clitoris during anal play.
  6. Use your fingers or a small anal toy, like the Bendi Butt Plug, to warm up for anal sex.
  7. As Jayme Waxman said on Better Sex Radio, porn stars are sexual athletes.
  8. Women should use her muscles to push as she moves onto the penis.

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Anal sex and semen in a woman’s ass creates a higher sex drive and dependency

First, semen anywhere helps a woman’s sex drive regardless if it’s left in a vagina, ass, or mouth. The mouth is probably the least effective being that the acids in the stomach can destroy the testosterone, while the vagina or colon would absorb much more effectively. The colon being the quickest and most effective.  This is the reason why some quick-acting seizure medications are inserted rectally – the body absorbs chemicals the fastest through the colon walls, semen/testosterone included.

Below I will piece together a few articles and let the reader decide. As far as I know, this claim has not been proven and it originally started when my wife, Venice, started to leave my sperm in her ass after sex. For whatever reason, it seemed a bit cleaner to pull out in the last few seconds and put my head in her ass and unload. She liked it, I thought it was a bit more kinky, and her vagina always stayed fresh to eat, not that my sperm has ever scared me away. However, it definitely was much fresher (no day old sperm). If her ass wasn’t as fresh, well… it’s her ass.

We immediately noticed that her sex drive shot through the roof. She began wanting to deepthroat me. In fact, this sparked her entire need to deepthroat (see “Deepthroating – My Introduction”). She went from initiating sex 10% of the time to 75% of the time, and she demanded that I cum inside her, especially in her ass.

Unsure of exactly what was happening, whether it was her maturing sexually, her age, or the semen in her ass, I began to experiment. For weeks at a time I would only cum in her mouth or vagina and slowly her sex drive would decline. She didn’t notice, but as a man, I did. If I came in her ass, within the next 15 minutes and lasting for the next 48 hours, it seemed to affect her libido. Her oral would change from slow and pleasant, to aggressive and demanding. Her sex talk would go from dirty to extremely dirty, especially when she talked about my cum.

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Discussion of the Day: I am a woman who can only orgasm from anal sex

It is incredibly humiliating to have to ask my partner for anal just so that I can get off but I don’t really know what I can do about it. It’s like my g-spot is somewhere completely different from everybody else’s.

The first time we tried anal and I came the moment he penetrated me. He was like “shit baby are you okay?” thinking he had hurt me and I was like “………..yes.”

I feel like less of a woman for not being able to cum vaginally when I can cum anally (and yes, I know most women can’t come from vaginal sex alone).

She gets many good replies:

I was with a girl for a while that seemed like she was this way. I don’t think it was the only way she ever got off, but she very definitely preferred it to vaginal. Before her, I always thought of anal as something that my partner and I might sometimes work up to during a session, but with this girl it was pretty common for us to skip vaginal entirely. I don’t think it’s something you should be humiliated about at all. If you’re into it (and you apparently are) and he’s into it, why not? Who cares?

You’d be surprised how close the vaginal wall is to the large intestine. It’s entirely plausible that either because of your position, shape/size of partners dick, or the vector of his thrust that feels most comfortable to him that it’s easier for him to hit your sweet spot from that doorway.

Unfortunately there are a few dumb myths spread in the thread as well:

Frequent anal sex can be very damaging in the long run. It can lead to anal incontinence and fissures in the wall between the vagina and anus by repeatedly putting undue pressure on the posterior membrane of the vagina. Also, tearing which is due to a lack of natural lubrication can increase the potential infection rate, and further the possibility of fissures. Lastly, frequent and vigorous anal sex can greatly increase the likelihood of a prolapse.

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