the-kittencupcakes: Ok first love the blog second trying to prepare for anal sex been practicing w a insertable one time it wasn’t painful at all and other times a lot so is it that I just need to take my time ?? And any other advice?
If it hurts, it’s either too big for your current level of ability or you aren’t using enough lube. That’s all there is to it.
Start small, with lots of lube, and work whatever you are starting with in and out repeatedly and for a while until it feels totally comfortable, then go to a larger size. If, when increasing the size, anything hurts, stop and just relax there for a moment or two until the pain fades. If it doesn’t, pull the object partway out and wait until it doesn’t hurt, then repeat again and again until you can get it all the way in without it hurting, then do the same thing with moving it in and out for a while before increasing. Keep repeating this cycle until you have worked up to the size you really want to use.
Consider getting a butt plug, or several of different sizes that you can work up through over time, and wearing a plug for as long as you comfortably can on a regular basis. This helps train your anal muscles and makes it easier for you to relax/loosen at will to accommodate penetration. Plus it feels great once you get used to it!