Anonymous: Hi! I’m the “no vaginal sex before marriage” girl from May 27. Me and my boyfriend started having anal sex just four days after my message here, and it’s been great. Days before we started, I took the habit of cleaning up with small enemas and fingering my ass, to get past the “it feels weird” stage and get sure our first time isn’t messy, and things were perfect from the first time. Since the only sex we had before were handjobs and blowjobs, to me it felt like making love for the first time.

Wonderful! I’m glad to hear that you had a great first experience and have been enjoying anal sex together. A little bit of research and preparation before trying it the first time can make all the difference, and is something I highly encourage everyone who wants to try anal.

Despite how some view it, anal sex can be the most pleasurable and intimate way to have sex, so it should come as no surprise how well it works (and is better suited than vaginal, in my opinion) for making love.

Congratulations, and enjoy your new connection and outlet to share yourselves with each other.

Anonymous: Thank you for your quick response. I read many posts on your blog and it answered all my other questions, my boyfriend already read a lot of it too, so I guess we’ll do it very shortly. I already have an small anal douche I carry around. To be honest, I would have been fine with no sex at all before marriage, but that’s not the sort of world we live in, and it doesn’t seem wrong to me to want to make my boyfriend happy. He’s cute and popular and had other options, but he’s been patient with me.

As long as you’re happy and willing to do it, then go for it.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

mrsnewfiesluts: Cute and popular are not the greatest reasons. You should want to do it, you should like/love him, and he should respect your feelings on the subject. If you can’t discuss sex with your partner, you’re not ready for it

Anonymous: Hello. I want to stay a virgin until marriage, and I’m worried about my hymen keeping intact, to the point that I refuse any contact near my pussy (I don’t masturbate). My current boyfriend has big sexual needs, so I agreed to give him handjobs then blowjobs. Now he wants to move to anal sex, but given his needs, I’m worried that frequent anal sex will somehow cause my hymen to tear open. Can that happen? I want to be clean, do frequent but small enemas cause damage? He directed me to your blog.

Hi! Becoming anal only can be a great way to avoid vaginal sex and keep your vaginal virginity, whatever your motivations in doing so, and being able to have great sex.

It seems quite unlikely that anal sex would cause any damage to your hymen, but everyone (and their hymen) is different, and some women can lose theirs just through physical activity like sports, while others can still have theirs intact after having vaginal sex. There are a lot of myths that surround the hymen, and I would suggest reading up on it more if you haven’t already.

Make sure that this is something that you want to do as well, not just because your boyfriend wants sex, and if you decide to go through with it, I highly suggest that both of you do research on how to have anal sex properly, how to warm up and prepare for it, and how to enjoy it.

Regarding enemas, it won’t hurt you to just use a small amount of warm water just to flush out the rectum. You want to avoid doing deeper enemas fairly often, both because that ends up getting into a much more complicated and long process, and because you don’t want to disrupt your intestinal flora that help with the digestive process. But just in the rectum itself to flush it out with a small amount of water several times in a row is fine if you feel it’s necessary.