Message: Anal Sex and Staying A Virgin Until Marriage
Anonymous: Hello. I want to stay a virgin until marriage, and I’m worried about my hymen keeping intact, to the point that I refuse any contact near my pussy (I don’t masturbate). My current boyfriend has big sexual needs, so I agreed to give him handjobs then blowjobs. Now he wants to move to anal sex, but given his needs, I’m worried that frequent anal sex will somehow cause my hymen to tear open. Can that happen? I want to be clean, do frequent but small enemas cause damage? He directed me to your blog.
Hi! Becoming anal only can be a great way to avoid vaginal sex and keep your vaginal virginity, whatever your motivations in doing so, and being able to have great sex.
It seems quite unlikely that anal sex would cause any damage to your hymen, but everyone (and their hymen) is different, and some women can lose theirs just through physical activity like sports, while others can still have theirs intact after having vaginal sex. There are a lot of myths that surround the hymen, and I would suggest reading up on it more if you haven’t already.
Make sure that this is something that you want to do as well, not just because your boyfriend wants sex, and if you decide to go through with it, I highly suggest that both of you do research on how to have anal sex properly, how to warm up and prepare for it, and how to enjoy it.
Regarding enemas, it won’t hurt you to just use a small amount of warm water just to flush out the rectum. You want to avoid doing deeper enemas fairly often, both because that ends up getting into a much more complicated and long process, and because you don’t want to disrupt your intestinal flora that help with the digestive process. But just in the rectum itself to flush it out with a small amount of water several times in a row is fine if you feel it’s necessary.
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