Message: Can Some People Not Have Anal Sex?
Anonymous: Are there medical reasons why someone can’t have anal sex? I’m a guy and have a fair bit of personal experience with anal sex but my gf is an anal virgin. We bought an anal training kit with three plugs in it and she can’t get beyond the smallest plug because she says it hurts too much. Any advice apart from the obvious like relaxing and using lots of lube?
Some people may have various conditions that make it more difficult, but most people can get to the point of enjoying anal eventually if they’re willing to put in the time and effort. For some people, that’s an incredibly quick and easy process, while for others it’s slow and challenging.
As a general rule, start where it’s not uncomfortable or painful for her. If she can use the small plug without it hurting, focus on that for now. Don’t advance to the next plug until she’s totally comfortable with this one. Combine some other things like rimming and light rubbing or fingering to help her relax. Add clit stimulation if she enjoys that and try to get her to start orgasming in combination with anal stimulation and/or penetration.
Then, when she’s comfortable with and enjoying the small plug, try the next size. If it still hurts, go back to the smaller one or try something a size in between (this could be a finger/thumb in some cases) before trying again. Go back and forth until the plug can fit in without pain. Repeat this process as needed.