Message: Anal Only Is Just A Fantasy, Right?, Part 3

Hi, it’s again the girl from before – your answer made me think a lot, and actually changed my mind. At first, my boyfriend being OK with me trying vaginal sex with another man was an offer I was tempted to take (even if I didn’t know how to handle it), but after reading your answer again and again and pondering, I realized you’re right: where’s the hurry? I’m very young, still at my first sexual experience, there’s no reason for me to multiply partners or do everything at once.

For now, I’m with someone I love and I really get along with (and whom I desired for a long time), he’s been amazing in making me discover sex, and I’m really satisfied. You’re right that him taking me anally for my first time (especially since he didn’t warn me before) and ignoring my pussy and clit since made me think I was not “really” a woman yet and that vaginal was something I was yet “to do”, but now I realize it’s sort of silly to think that way. Now that I do anal sex regularly and that I think about it spontaneously when I think of sex, that stigma is going away. It’s especially true since I followed my boyfriend’s advice and I don’t masturbate with my pussy or clit when I’m by myself any more, just anally (we don’t see each others as frequently as I’d like, we don’t live with each other yet). Looking back, the idea of “cheating” on my boyfriend just for a matter of which hole is penetrated seems sort of selfish, and I’m a little ashamed of having considered it.

I also understand what you mean about “reversing”. When we argued, my boyfriend said: “if we were doing vaginal, you wouldn’t harass me to do anal, wouldn’t you?” and of course he’s right. I feel like treating vaginal sex and clitoral stimulation as weird and taboo and talking down about it, while anal is treated as natural/normal/obvious makes my boyfriend really hot, and, I guess, makes you hot too? I admit that now that I understand him better, I find it sort of hot too.

Reading more about other messages on your blogs, I also realized I was in a situation that made me very special in the eyes of my boyfriend. When I asked him if being a vaginal virgin turned him on, he told me that obviously it was fantastic for him, especially since he was the only partner I ever had, and it made him at least “50% harder” when he fucked me! I now feel special, naughty and pure at the same time, and I’m starting to like it. I’m so proud to be his girlfriend. Thank you!

That’s great to hear! It’s good that you were able to come to terms with the idea and realize that having vaginal sex or using your pussy and clit sexually isn’t what makes you a woman, and that you can be just as “womanly” in an anal only relationship. There are women out there who have never had vaginal sex their entire lives, and they certainly aren’t any less of a woman for it.

It’s also good to hear that you’re starting to see the appeal yourself, and that it’s turning you on as well to think about it. That’s how it should be—fun and appealing to the both of you. If it wasn’t, if it was just one-sided, the I would be more inclined to suggest that it may not be the best option for you, but since you are very much enjoying it physically and are now enjoying it mentally/emotionally as well, by all means stick with it. If it stops being fun, you’re always free to reconsider, of course!

It sounds like you’re both in for a great time now that you’ve gotten through this and worked it out. Do feel free to continue updating if you have anything more to share or ask!

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