Message: For the Anonymous Woman Seeking Advice

I’ve read your questions regarding your boyfriends request to go anal only with you and felt compelled to also give my own response, for what it’s worth…

You say  you are looking for reasons to feel positive. I think this is positive in itself as you’ve not turned him down out of hand but are seeking out answers to all these questions that have naturally arisen.

I really believe the first reaction from women is surprise. They’ve not heard of such a lifestyle, have been unfairly and unjustly primed to feel negatively, and to question their femininity. Rest assured he cares for you just as much as ever. He doesn’t dislike your vagina, instead he simply feels very passionate about your ass! The truth is, if you can accept it, that a large proportion of men need to express sex and love anally. It’s normal, and far from any rejection it’s a healthy sign of how much he desires you!

Think about the bold and brave step he has taken by approaching you with this. He’s reaching out to you. I don’t think that can ever be easy. Given that, I feel that you owe him a chance at least. In your own words you claim to be slightly sub and have strong O’s through anal. Even better! You have a good chance of making this work, and after a few weeks when you gotten used to regular anal sex you’ll probably be able to then focus on the positive aspects. Increased intimacy for one, and as he’ll no longer be faking desire and finally be having the sex he likes your relationship will grow even stronger.

But be prepared to be patient and give this a real chance. You may not know straight away and you don’t have to commit to anything. Think very carefully and ask yourself, is your vagina really essential to a happy sex life? Honestly? What would you miss by being anal only and weigh that against what you’d both gain. Keep that open mind as there is no one right way to have sex as part of a loving couple.

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