Message: Porn’s Influence on Anal

When I was growing up, I watched a lot of porn and really enjoyed watching anal more than anything, so that’s what I wanted to do myself too. When I first started having sex, the boys I dated were willing to do whatever I wanted but what they really wanted most was anal. They had also been introduced to it through porn and thought it was really hot, so they wanted to try it, or if they had already tried it, it was usually what they preferred.

Do you think porn is influencing people towards doing more anal or just exposing and introducing them to the idea and getting them to try it? I think it’s maybe a little of both, and I actually think it’s a good thing because I don’t know if I would have learned just how much I prefer anal if I hadn’t been inspired to try it and had boys who wanted to do it too.

I actually only did anal for the first three years I was having sex and looking back on it, those were some of the best years of my sex life so far. When I went to college I lost my vaginal virginity and had sex every way for a while and it was nice for a while but I didn’t love vaginal like I love anal and I found myself longing to go back to just anal, so last year I decided to go back to anal only after I found your blog and I’ve been much happier with sex since. I don’t know about other people but it really is the best thing for me.

I agree with you that it’s a mix of both things with porn: it’s introducing a lot more people to the idea in general through exposure but it’s also helping to normalize anal and not treat it as some strange thing you might want to try once or twice or on rare occasions but that it’s a normal activity people should be enjoying frequently. Those are positive things.

The only negative side I see is that it can give somewhat unrealistic expectations of getting started with and preparing for anal and generally leaves out the necessary preparation, lubrication and warmup that happens in the real world, and can lead to some people wanting to try it and rushing into it, resulting in a painful experience that discourages them from trying again.

The other issue that arises as it transitions to be more normalized but isn’t universally there for everyone yet is a matter of consent and mutual desire. If one partner very much wants and expects it and the other doesn’t or is unprepared for the idea, they can end up pressured into doing something they aren’t ready for. Such things should always be discussed and explored together before starting to make sure everyone is on board with the idea and interested in trying it together.

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