Article: “I prefer anal sex—but is it safe?”

Vaginal sex has never been any good for me. It’s not especially painful – only at first and then I feel mostly numb and a bit icky. I’ve always done it in relationships, but when my fiancé guessed I didn’t like it much we stopped completely. That was over a year ago. Since then we’ve explored alternatives and our sex life is great. I’ve found the best way for me to orgasm is through anal sex and using a vibrator on my clitoris. My boyfriend, I think, would prefer vaginal. Last night I went to a talk about women, confidence and pleasure. One of the speakers was asked about anal sex and said it was just something that was fashionable – that no woman likes it; those who do it are just pretending to be cool to keep their boyfriends happy; and that men who want it are likely gay or bi. They also said it’s a health risk and harms your body, but didn’t explain how. This has made me very anxious. Should we stop?

So begins an article at The Telegraph. This is why people who don’t know anything about anal sex shouldn’t be talking authoritatively about it and spreading myths and fear. Here’s a woman safely practicing anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, and greatly preferring it to vaginal, and she’s being falsely told that she’s wrong to prefer it because no woman actually likes it, and that it’s harmful.

I wasn’t at the talk you went to – but it’s a real shame you left an event about ‘women, confidence and pleasure’ feeling worried and uncertain.

It’s also not clear if the speaker was sharing their own opinions about anal sex, or if they were speaking in a more official, educational capacity.

Either way it doesn’t really matter.

They may have their reasons for disapproving of anal sex. But not all they said was accurate.

Unfortunately, the response ends up taking a similar tone towards the end and though it hedges it a bit by saying that it’s her choice to prefer anal, she should try to enjoy vaginal sex instead.

While enjoying anal is evidently your preference and choice, I did want to pick up on why you don’t like vaginal sex. You say “It’s not especially painful, I just feel mostly numb during it and it feels a bit icky”.  I don’t want to talk you into something you don’t like, but if vaginal sex has always been a source of physical discomfort it might be worth finding out why, rather than dismissing it.

Not everyone enjoys vaginal sex, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Stop trying to make it what’s “normal” and disliking it “abnormal”, and instead recognize that some prefer vaginal, some prefer anal, some prefer oral, and some have other preferences yet. Being anal only is a perfectly valid choice and preference for many people.

Continue Reading at The Telegraph

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