Message: Feel Like Going To The Bathroom During Anal
Anonymous: How do I get over the feeling of having to go to the bathroom? We go very slow and there isn’t any pain. I know I don’t actually have to go to the bathroom and won’t during sex, but being penetrated and feeling full feels exactly the same as having to go. This is very distracting and makes it extremely unenjoyable.
How long have you been doing anal? When you first start out, this isn’t uncommon for some people, because the same parts of your body are being stimulated as when you get the urge to go to the bathroom. But with time and practice and a bit of a mental shift about it, you will start to separate the sensation of sexual anal penetration from the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom.
I would suggest incorporating more frequent anal play that focuses on the parts of it that are pleasurable to you currently, and from there you can expand that pleasure into the other aspects of anal. Lots of rimming, lots of gentle external anal massage with a lubricated finger or two rubbing/massaging around your anus until it opens up naturally and then gently slipping inside and focusing on sensations that feel good. The more you focus on the pleasure of anal, the more the rest of it will feel good too. Do it more than just with a partner as well—explore anal play and pleasure on your own time. Starting to think of it as a way to pleasure yourself and masturbate can help shift you towards seeing it as more pleasurable.
If you aren’t already, you might also try combining it with clitoral stimulation. I often suggest clitoral denial on this blog, but for some people that’s something that should come a bit later in the process, and combining anal penetration with clitoral stimulation at first can go a long way in accelerating one’s enjoyment of anal by combining a known pleasure with a new form of stimulation and building up that association between anal and pleasure.