Message: Wife Doesn’t Want To Try Anal

Anonymous: I’ve been married for a year and my wife (who previously has hinted she would into trying anal) told me she doesn’t like the idea. What do you recommend for “beginners”?

Talk to her more about it. Ask her what she doesn’t like about the idea and what her concerns are about doing it. Try to have an open discussion, and don’t push her, just have a conversation together. Most people’s concerns are either overblown or the issues they’re worried about can be easily avoided with a little effort.

Advice beyond that depends on her concerns. But people just starting with anal, especially if they aren’t that into the idea yet, should usually not even consider anal intercourse at that stage, and should start with rimming, external massage, and light penetration with a finger or small toys in combination with clit stimulation.

If you do have a conversation, feel free to follow up with more specifics.

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