Message: Anal Only Is Just A Fantasy, Right?

Hello. I had my first sexual experience very recently, with an older boy I have a huge crush on (smart, funny, sexy, incredibly good-looking)… it started great, but after foreplay, he put me on my stomach, spread my legs, and started licking my ass hole.

It wasn’t unpleasant, so I didn’t say anything, and after that, he started fingering me, then he finally shoved his cock into my ass. He was very slow and gentle and it didn’t hurt, so even though it felt really weird, I didn’t protest, but the next few times we had sex, he still focused on my ass and ignored my actual sexual organs. It was feeling better each time and I could take his cock better and better, but I finally asked him why he didn’t have sex the regular way.

He acted very surprised, arguing that a woman’s ass was also a “sexual organ”, that anal sex was as “regular” as vaginal penetration, and that in his experience anal was just better, and the only way he wanted non-reproductive sex. He did talk about your blog (I think it’s this one), saying people in general were now naturally having anal sex to avoid contraception, and because it just felt better and made more sense.

I read your blog a bit, and most of it is a fantasy, right? Anal isn’t actually as standard and “normal” as you’re suggesting in some posts and as he’s saying?

The concept of anal only and the anal only lifestyle, however, is not a fantasy for many people, myself included, it’s our actual preference and how we choose to have sex. Is it a majority of people? No, but a growing number of people are choosing to be anal only. You can check out and join the full community if interested at the Anal Only Lifestyle forum and chat.

I will agree with him that a woman’s ass is just as much of a sex organ as her vagina, that anal sex is just as normal (even if not necessarily as common yet) as vaginal, and I share his experience that it is better.

That said, it’s ultimately up to you as well whether you want to take part in the anal only lifestyle. You have just as much say in it as he does, though you’ll have to accept that he will likely be uninterested in having vaginal sex with you. You shouldn’t take that as anything against you, it’s just that his preference is to be anally exclusive, and that’s how sex with him is going to be. If you’re okay with that, then carry on. If you aren’t, you and he may not be sexually compatible.

My very biased recommendation is going to be to stay anal only with him for a while and continue to explore it if you’re currently enjoying things. You’ll enjoy it more and more the more you do it, and you’ll get to enjoy the many benefits of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. It can’t hurt to commit to it for now, and of course you can always change your mind down the road if it isn’t working for you. Ultimately, though, it is and should be up to you what you do.

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