Message: Trained For Months, But Anal Still Hurts

Anonymous: Hello, hoping for some advice in regards to solving the discomfort I experience during anal sex. I did proper anal training for 10+ months, and (I think) we use enough lube, but after my husband enters me and begins to move back and forth I feel discomfort/pain. It’s fine as long as he just stays in and kind of “rocks” back and forth without sliding back and forth but it seems that the more in and out motion irritate me. What could it be? Thanks in advance!

Are you warming up and relaxing with fingers or toys (like a butt plug) before having sex? If you aren’t warmed up enough, it could cause discomfort or pain when you start having sex. Even just wearing a butt plug for 15 to 20 minutes before sex can really help.

It’s also possible the lube you’re using could cause irritation and make sex feel more uncomfortable than pleasurable. If it works for solo play or with toys, however, that may not be the case.

You can try practicing for anal sex more with dildos and see if you can build up at your own pace to the point where an in and out motion doesn’t bother you.

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