Message: Should I Give Up Vaginal Forever?

Anonymous: First I just would like to say happy holidays and I love your blog. I’ve been having anal sex for a long time but for some of the men especially the last one I slept with wants to do anal only, he even demanded it. So should I give up vaginal 4ever?

Happy holidays to you as well, and thank you!

Do you want to go anal only? Does the idea interest and excite you? Does it satisfy your own desires? If the answer is yes to any of those, then you might consider trying anal only for a few months as a trial period of sorts. If you’re still enjoying it and having a good time with it at the end of that trial period, then consider making it more indefinite. I’m not really a fan of absolutes, like declaring (seriously, outside of a fantasy realm or dirty talk) that you’ll never, ever do something again and closing yourself off the the possibility of changing your mind. Instead, I advocate doing what works for you now, but if down the road it ever stops being fun and amazing for you, being open to change if change is what you need. If you end up never wanting vaginal again, then great—but if anal only ever stops being fun for someone and becomes a chore instead of a joy, then I think it’s foolish for someone to continue with it. And that applies to anything, including vaginal sex for some people. But I digress.

Don’t go anal only because somebody else demands it, do it because you want it.

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