Discussion of the Day: Anal and Incontinence

My boyfriend and I have tried anal sex a few times throughout our one year (and counting!) relationship. I currently work in the medical field as a CNA in a nursing home and I see almost everyday what bowel incontinence can do to a person’s dignity. My boyfriend enjoys anal sex and I do too (after a while of penetration). My question is, however, how often can a woman have anal sex before she becomes permanently incontinent? Please don’t judge! Thanks!

So what do people start doing? Judging.

ok honey listen. Use lube. and i mean use it. secondly only do it as a special treat not all the time.

also, arent you a little young for anal? whats wrong with vaginal sex at your age.

Starts out a bit patronizing, then makes a valid point (lots of lube is always good)… and then promptly goes off the deep end. There’s no reason to do it only as a special treat. If both partners love anal, do it as often as you want it.

Then the idiotic suggestion that a woman in her early 20s is too young to be trying anal sex and she should just be happy with her vagina at that age. Come on. Not everyone likes vaginal sex as much as anal, regardless of their age. Age has nothing to do with it. Your body and preferences does.

Finally, no one really gave a true answer. And the answer is this: safely practiced anal sex with proper warmup and lubrication, even daily anal sex with the exclusion of vaginal sex, does not cause incontinence, prolapse, fissures, hemorrhoids, or any sort of permanently loose, gaping hole. The sphincter is a muscle, and anal sex exercises it and gives you more tone and control. People who have regular anal sex have better anal control than those who don’t. You can also do kegel exercises to strengthen those muscles even further.

There are some people who have preexisting conditions that make them more susceptible to the aforementioned issues, and anal sex can aggravate or trigger the issues for those people—but so can a lot of other things. There are people who get anal fissures, hemorrhoids and prolapse simply from sitting on a toilet seat and going to the bathroom. In some cases, anal training and sex has helped people with hemorrhoids and fissures because excessive anal tightness made things worse for them.

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