Darin: I’m writing to you today not just as a member, but as a man whose life and marriage have been fundamentally changed by what you’ve built here. I don’t think you can truly understand the impact you have unless you’ve been in the darkness my wife and I were in, so I want to share our story. It’s a story of loss, discovery, and a rebirth that I honestly thought was impossible.
For the better part of two decades, my wife and I had what I would describe as a passionate and adventurous love life. Sex was a cornerstone of our connection, a way we communicated love, desire, and joy without words. It was frequent, it was enthusiastic, and it was something we both treasured deeply. Then, menopause arrived, and it was like a switch had been flipped.
It started subtly, with a decrease in her libido, which we attributed to stress and the natural aging process. But then came the physical changes that were far more brutal. Vaginal dryness became a constant, painful reality. The tissue thinned, and what was once a source of intense pleasure became a source of sharp, burning discomfort for her. We tried everything. Over-the-counter lubricants felt cold and clinical, like trying to put out a fire with ice water. Prescription estrogen creams helped a little, but the side effects worried her, and the relief was minimal at best.
Our sex life dwindled from a roaring fire to a pile of barely glowing embers. Intercourse became something we avoided. The pain for her was real, and seeing her wince, her face contorted in discomfort instead of ecstasy, was agony for me. I started to feel a mixture of guilt for even wanting it and a deep, gnawing sadness for what we were losing. The silence in our bedroom grew heavier than any words we could have spoken. We were still best friends, still partners in every other aspect of life, but that vital, primal connection had been severed. I watched my vibrant, sensual wife retreat into herself, and I felt helpless. Her orgasms, which were never particularly easy for her to achieve vaginally, became a once-a-month, if-we’re-lucky event. The passion was gone, replaced by a careful, choreographed dance of avoidance.
This is where you come in. One night, I found her at her computer, tears in her eyes. She told me she was at her wit’s end, just searching for something, anything, that could help. She said she was looking up vaginal dryness on a medical forum when a sidebar link caught her eye. It was a thread on your site, the Anal Only Lifestyle forums, discussing how many women in perimenopause and menopause were finding a new, pain-free, and incredibly fulfilling sexual path through anal intimacy.
I’ll be honest, my first reaction was a mix of skepticism and a little bit of fear. It was new territory for us. We’d experimented a little in our younger years, but it was always a side dish, never the main course. But my wife was determined. She said, “What do we have to lose?” And she was right. We had already lost so much.
Together, we dove into the forums. We read the guides, the personal stories, the advice on preparation and communication. It wasn’t just about the physical act; it was about a mindset shift. It was about redefining what sex could be for a couple facing our specific challenges. Armed with knowledge and a sliver of hope, we ordered a high-quality silicone lubricant as recommended by your veteran members.
The night we decided to try, the air was thick with a nervous energy we hadn’t felt in years. It was a mixture of fear and desperate hope. We took our time, focusing on her comfort, using far more lubricant than we thought we’d need. And when I finally entered her, everything changed. There was no wince of pain. There was no flinch of discomfort. Instead, there was a slow, deep gasp of pure, unadulterated pleasure.
The experience was transformative on a level I can’t adequately describe. For me, the intensity, the tightness, the sheer intimacy of the act was mind-blowing. But watching my wife was the real revelation. Her body, which had been so tense and guarded for so long, completely relaxed and then arched in pleasure. The sounds she made were not of pain, but of an ecstasy I hadn’t heard from her in over a decade. When she climaxed, it wasn’t the small, occasional release she’d have from vaginal sex. It was a full-body, convulsing, screaming orgasm that seemed to go on forever. And I followed right behind her, having the most powerful orgasm of my own life.
That night broke the dam. We haven’t had vaginal sex since. We don’t need to, and we don’t want to. Anal sex is no longer an alternative; it is our sex life. It is the new foundation of our physical intimacy. My wife, who once orgasmed once or twice a month, now has incredibly intense, body-shaking orgasms every single time we are together. Her desire has come roaring back, more powerful than ever before. The woman I married, the passionate and sensual partner I missed so desperately, is back.
I am so profoundly grateful to you and your community. You provided a safe space for my wife to find information that no doctor had offered. You gave us a roadmap out of a dark and lonely place. You didn’t just save our sex life; you saved a vital part of our marriage. You showed us that when one door closes, another can open, leading to a room more beautiful than the one we left behind.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.
Gratefully, A husband and wife you helped save
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story and I’m so glad to hear that going anal only has been able to save your sex life in a time of life where arousal, desire and pleasure often fades away entirely. I think if more women embraced anal and anal only in perimenopause and menopause, they would find so much more pleasure and arousal as the problem is less about arousal and sex but about vaginal.
