Discussion: I Prefer Anal, How Can I Change This?

A Reddit user asks this unfortunate and misguided question:

It’s been 6 years i didn’t have any long term relationship, because i don’t give myself any opportunity to find a new girl. And here’s why : i’m not sure i will ever be able to find a girl that will fit my sexual preferences. I’m really obsessed with everything that has to do with ass, “even worse”, i like it when it’s nasty and natural (Not into scat, but i really like the scent of ass and pussy, when it’s all natural, it gets me really horny).

One other thing, is that when i’m not comfortable with a girl, i can’t easily get hard. And it’s even harder when i’m not doing stuff that i prefer. Like, typically, when i’m having sex the first times with a girl, she will except from me to penetrate her pussy missionary, and i will hardly have a boner here, because : 1) I’m not that excited with that form of penetration ; 2) Performance anxiety. As soon as i know the girl better, get comfortable with her, i can get hard and have vaginal sex etc.

So i’m avoiding meeting any new girls, just to avoid the embarassment i will have in the bed, when she will know that “i’m weird”, that i can’t get hard with normal vaginal sex. I like eating pussy and ass, 69, all that stuff, but i’m not sure that’s appropriate on a first time.

This sort of attitude is the result of the shame and fear that comes from the society we live in, where so many still believe that unless you conform to the norm of wanting vaginal sex, something is wrong with you.

Unfortunately, over the years, I’ve talked to so many people—men and women both—who desperately want and need to be anal only, who naturally prefer anal sex for so many different reasons, but who have been afraid to act on that or admit that preference to partners, because they think they will be or have been negatively judged in the past.

Stand up for who you are, what you want, and what you need. Not wanting or liking vaginal sex is not a bad thing. It’s increasingly the norm, but we’re still treating it like it’s something unusual.

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