Message: Regret Ever Losing My Vaginal Virginity
WishIWasStillVV: My biggest sexual regret in my life is losing my vaginal virginity. I was like some of the girls in your blog who started having anal sex only. I did not want to get pregnant and it was an easy way to avoid that when I started. I loved it and my boyfriend loved it, so there was no reason to do anything else.
Over time, I became very attached to anal sex and to the fact that I was only anal, and I decided not to have vaginal sex unless I decided to have a child someday . In fact, I did it for 9 years, until I was 25 years old. But then, after being single for a while, I met a new boyfriend who agreed with the anal but wanted over time to take my virginity and continued to put pressure on me. I did not want to do it, but I finally gave in and gave up.
Unfortunately, it was very uncomfortable and unpleasant for me. I did not like it at all and the fact that I was pushed to do it probably did not help to make things pleasant. But I thought that was what I had to do to be normal, so I did it and continued for a while, until we broke up.
Since then, I have become anal only again and I never want to use my vagina again, but I am so angry and sad to think that I have lost something precious and that I am not pure anal only like I wanted to be .
I am really sorry that you were pressured into doing something you didn’t want to do, that’s not okay regardless of what type of sex act is involved. Someone who doesn’t want to do vaginal pressured into doing vaginal is bad, and someone who doesn’t want to do anal being pressured into doing anal is bad.
I’ve heard similar things from a lot of women who started out anal only for an extended period of time before losing their vaginal virginity, many express some level of regret or at least a wish that they’d realized sooner that they’d want to end up committing to anal only long-term. In your case, however, it sounds like you already knew that for yourself, and the decision to do vaginal all came from external influence instead.
And at the same time, for those who have chosen to lose their vaginal virginity, or who want to try both to see for themselves what they prefer, you shouldn’t feel bad either. It’s your body, and your choice, and that is what matters. If someone is making you uncomfortable by pushing you to do things you don’t want to do, then that’s where there’s a problem.
Thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you were able to end up back in the anal only lifestyle after. I know preserving one’s vaginal virginity as part of being anal only can be appealing and something special to some people—myself included—and it can feel like a loss, especially when you were pressured to lose it despite not wanting to, but it doesn’t make you any less. Always remember that.
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