Message: Haven’t Been Successful With Anal

Anonymous: So, my bf and I have only tried anal twice and haven’t been completely successful. Haven’t been able to take all of him. Help. Also, from what I’m reading here, I’m not supposed to rub my pussy during anal?

Actually, if you’re just getting started with anal, chances are you will want to play with your pussy and clit at the same time. It helps you relax and helps build associations between anal penetration and pleasure. Going fully anal only with no other stimulation is more of an advanced thing some people may find appealing to try once they’re already enjoying frequent anal sex, and others may simply need to incorporate clitoral play anyway.

When you say you haven’t been able to take all of him, what is stopping you? Pain/discomfort or simply a physical limit where he is unable to go any further? If pain, you definitely need to train and warm up with fingers and/or toys more first. If not, you may just try as far as you can go for a while. As you relax, you can straighten out a bit and make deeper penetration easier, or you can try different positions. Try it with you on top, squatting and lowering yourself onto him slowly. Stop if it hurts and just hold yourself there, then go a bit further, repeating until he’s in. It may take a while, but you should be able to get there. The key is to stop when you feel pain approaching and just hold your position to get used to being filled at that size, then resume. “Push” outwards as if going to the bathroom to help relax and ease initial penetration.

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