Message: AO While Dating
Eva: I’m single and want to stay anal only and not use my pussy at all. But it feels awkward to bring up to new partners — some think I’m joking or fetishizing. How do you bring up anal only while dating without scaring people off?
This is such a great question, and one a lot of single anal only women deal with, even if they don’t talk about it openly. First off, you’re not wrong to want what you want. Wanting to be anal only—even as a single woman—is completely valid, and it doesn’t mean you’re joking, performing, or fetishizing anything. It just means you know your body and your boundaries. That should be respected, not questioned.
When it comes to bringing it up while dating, the key is confidence. You don’t have to dump it on someone in the first five minutes, but you also shouldn’t feel like you need to apologize or tiptoe around it. Once things start moving toward physical or emotional intimacy, be direct: “I just want to be clear early on—I’m anal only. I don’t use my pussy at all, and it’s not something I’m open to. If that’s not for you, I totally understand, but it’s important to me.”
Saying it plainly—not defensively—usually does more to disarm than over-explaining. You’re not being extreme. You’re being honest. Some people will be confused or surprised, and that’s okay. It’s not your job to make them instantly understand—it’s your job to hold your line.
The ones who get it (and they are out there) will respect you more for being clear and committed. And the ones who don’t? They were never right for you anyway.
Anal only isn’t just a preference—it’s a part of who you are. You’re not asking too much. You’re offering something beautiful. Anyone lucky enough to be with you should understand that.
And if they don’t, move along—plugged and proud.
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