Message: Heterosexuality and Vaginal Disinterest
Joe: I am a straight man who is and has only ever been into women my whole life but I have always thought vaginas were a turn off and never liked the idea of vaginal sex. Some of my partners made me feel bad and wrong for this or said I was gay because I only wanted anal. But I am not interested in men, I just love anal sex with women.
Why do we think sexuality has to do with genitals rather than with sex and gender? I am attracted to women, I just prefer anal sex rather than vaginal sex and will not do vaginal because anal is more natural for me and what I love.
My friends prefer anal too but are afraid to go anal only because they think they will also be called gay if they stop having vaginal sex. It is wrong that we are forced to do something unnatural to us and it is equated to being unnatural in a different way if we don’t.
For the most part, this comes from the fact that people’s genitals are an intimate part of their body and often associated not only with sex for them, but also come with various insecurities. When someone is not interested in having vaginal sex with them and only wants anal, it can feel like a rejection of their genitals which can trigger those insecurities and result in them lashing out.
It’s important to express your needs and preferences in a manner which shows them that you aren’t putting them down, you just find their ass and anal sex with them to be so sexy, and that there isn’t anything wrong with their vagina, you just prefer anal. Make them feel hot and sexy to be doing anal with you and they’ll be much more open to it.
My sexuality is identical to what Joe is describing. Anal oriented heterosexual men put up with a certain amount of ignorant and hostile bullshit from the vaginacentric. I suspect it is probably even a bit worse for anal oriented women. But it does seem that gradually society is coming around to rejecting the anti-anal prejudices and superstitions that plagued the world in the past. Back in 2013, a poster here suggested that anal centric heterosexual sex education would help break the stigma and allow it to be know that many straights of both sexes naturally want to fuck anally and we are not alone or bizarre.
[…] the only guy with a clitoral aversion. In another pseudonymous post on the blog, entitled “Heterosexuality and Vaginal Disinterest,” a guy named Joe explains that he simply can’t bear the thought of vaginal sex, not because […]
y’all ignore trans women, but want anal only lives… wtf.