Article: Becoming a Butt Slut — Anal Sex as a Practice of Sexual Mindfulness
I got fucked in the ass for the first time on my 31st birthday.
It wasn’t my first time trying. Throughout my twenties I felt pressured to try anal by a number of male partners. I even had men try it without consent. The idea of a whole cock in my ass scared me. I imagined that it would be painful, and the few attempts I made proved that to be true. When guys pressed their cocks against my asshole I felt tense and scared and pressured. I knew that anal sex was desirable for them and I wanted to give the guys I was fucking what they wanted. I wanted to be into anal sex but my body said no.
Eventually I started to let guys put fingers in my ass and I found that it felt good. When I was really turned on I was able to take a small amount of penetration. Rubbing my clit while they fingered my ass was exciting and hot. But as soon as we moved up in size from a finger to a cock, my body couldn’t take it. I couldn’t relax enough to open myself wide enough for a cock. I decided that I would never be able to.
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