Message: Been AO For Years, But Struggling With New Boyfriend
Anonymous: Hi, I hope you can help me with this because I’m at a loss of what to do.
I’ve been anal only since 2014, when my boyfriend at the time and I tried an anal only challenge and really enjoyed it and decided we would keep doing anal only afterwards. We were together another three years, then I hooked up with various guys for a while, all anal, and they all enjoyed that I was anal only and I never had any trouble with it. My last boyfriend came out of that and we were together the past two years before breaking up for other reasons.
I’m now seeing this new guy and I really, really like him, but he doesn’t want to just do anal and wants vaginal too. I really don’t want to have vaginal again and lose my 6 year anal only streak, but I’m afraid if I tell him how important staying anal only is to me, he won’t be interested in staying and will want to leave. What do I do?
Isn’t it interesting how so many women turn out to love and prefer anal and it’s often the guys they meet who are more closed to the idea and end up wanting to stick with vaginal? Obviously there are many guys who know better and also want anal only, but it just goes against the traditional myths and misconceptions about how it’s guys who prefer anal and women who don’t.
I strongly suggest being open and honest with the new guy. Presumably you’ve only done anal so far, since you haven’t lost your anal only streak yet, and he’s been hinting that he wants vaginal too? Talk to him about being anal only and that you don’t want to go back to vaginal, and that you much prefer anal and like doing only anal.
If he understands and goes along with it, great! If he has any concerns, talk them over with him and see what they are. Chances are you can avoid most of the issues and come up with a mutually satisfying result.
And if he doesn’t understand, then honestly he’s probably not a good fit for you. There’s more to a relationship than sex, but being sexually satisfied is a pretty fundamental component of a relationship for most people, and if being anal only is what you need, going into a relationship that you know won’t work for anal only and which you’ll have to often do sex that you don’t much enjoy, may not be sustainable long-term for you and may end up leading to frustration and resentment.