Boyfriend Loves Anal, But I Don’t

This age old problem is discussed at sexpressed.com after a reader contacted the site for advice.

The way it usually goes is for the man to be very interested in anal, the women doesn’t understand, gets confused by the obsession and eventually gets angry. Sometimes the roles are reversed, but whichever way you end up with a collision of conflicting desires.

This case is no different to all the others:

No matter what we did I hated it. It was painful, not sexy, and generally just a bad time for me in every way. I told my boyfriend that I gave it a shot and am just not into it, so I guess it won’t be happening anymore.

What usually happens at this point is that the person who doesn’t like anal thinks that by making such a declaration that that is the end of the matter, and both can happily resume ‘normal’ vaginal sex and forget about the anal thing.

This is a great mistake. A person with an interest or preference for anal sex is not able to simply discard or forget this facet of their personality. And there is no reason that they are any more wrong to like anal than the other person is to dislike it.

The article concludes with:

As of right now you are dating a guy who really loves anal sex and you are a girl who really does not like anal sex, which you may not believe but makes you fundamentally incompatible.

This needs to be understood by everyone; you can either take steps to make it work or go your separate ways, but it is impossible to try to ignore the problem.

However, I would wager that in the above case (as with most) at the heart of the problem lies an error in their technique or approach. Perhaps they just didn’t give it long enough. Learning to enjoy anal takes time. Often several attempts over weeks or even months are required, but once a taste is acquired you’ll never look back.

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