The problem: My husband wants us to have anal sex more often
One thing that even a cursory research will show you, is that the internet is full of ignorance, bad advice and outright negative propaganda with regards to anal sex.
Some people appear to have an agenda which requires spreading and perpetuating old wives tales, presumably so that other people fall in line and behave just as they do.
Take the woman who asks:
My husband wants us to have anal sex more often. He likes it and claims that most couples are really into it. I find it painful and only agree to it because I love him. Is this really something that lots of people do. I’m too embarrassed to ask my friends.
Instead of giving some guidance about how to make anal sex more easy and pleasurable, trying to help her understand her husband, or at least referring her to sites where there are others with experience who can help, we have:
expert sexual health advice from…a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.
Who says amongst other things:
Done a lot, anal sex can cause a leaky bottom
In this century you would have thought the ‘experts’ would know better. As one man points out:
I’m a 45 year old man who has always enjoyed anal sex with all of the women in my life. I’ve been married for 10 years and my wife and I do it as a regular part of our sex lives, maybe 2-3 times per week. The misinformation that anal sex can “cause a leaky bottom” is utterly absurd and incorrect.
I am a 29-year-old married woman and my husband is 45 years old. We dated for 4 years while I was in college, and we got married 7 years ago when I was 22. So, we have been together for a total of 11 years, during which we have been having anal sex on a regular basis, typically 4 or 5 times per week. Anal sex is quite common among heterosexual couples in 2020. When I was in college, about 40% of female students had anal sex, according to research by the Kinsey Institute. And that figure, in 2020, is now probably closer to 50%. Anal sex is becoming more popular because there is zero risk of pregnancy, condoms are not necessarily required if you are having anal sex with your spouse or longtime significant other, and there are more products available now to make anal sex more pleasurable, exciting, and comfortable. I am a petite woman at 5’1” and 102 lbs, and my husband is 6’2” and 204 lbs — so he is literally twice my size. And yet, with the use of lubricant, he can bury his 11-inch erect penis “balls deep” into my anus. The initial penetration can be quite intense as the girth of his shaft is 1.8 inches in diameter, which stretches my sphincter muscles painfully wide. However, as the tip of his penis penetrates the full length of my rectum, partly enters my sigmoid colon, and then saws back and forth throughout my anal channel during vigorous thrusting, my sphincter muscles begin to relax a bit after about 5 minutes — and my pain subsides to a more moderate and manageable level. For us, a typical anal sex session will last about 90 minutes, and he will pump me at a rate of a out one anal thrust per second. So, that is 60 anal thrusts per minute or 3,600 anal thrusts per hour. That means I receive 5,400 anal thrusts in a 90-minute session. And if we have anal sex 5 times in a typical week, I receive a total of 27,000 anal thrusts each week. If you do the math, I receive 1,404,000 anal thrusts each year. And I am 100% healthy with no problems. In a 90-minute anal sex session, my husband typically ejaculates a total of 5 or 6 times, so he is very happy. And as I listen to him moaning in pleasure with each of those 1.4 million anal thrusts each year, it is both a validating and satisfying experience for me as a woman. It is very pleasurable and satisfying for both of us. But not everyone will experience this as some individuals have religious or other objections. So, you just have to decide whether you and your partner want to have those kinds of pleasurable experiences or not.