I want/need anal in our sex life. My boyfriend will not go there. Is it a lost cause or will he come around?
That is the question asked by a woman at guyspeak.com.
Sadly, she is given the completely wrong advice:
A guy who won’t stop pestering his girlfriend to let him in the backdoor is a creep, and you will be too if you push your man to do something he’s not comfortable with. These are the compromises we must make as civilized creatures.
If it’s really important to you, let him know that; maybe you can come to an understanding. Maybe even try to tempt him again every once in a while. But if he’s a flat-out no, at the end of the day, you can’t force him to change something so personal. And pushing will probably just make him defensive and pouty.
Nowhere does she say she is pestering him, he doesn’t really answer her question nor does he acknowledge the crucial point that she needs anal in her sex life.
No investigation of why he may not want anal, or what she could do to get him more interested, but basically telling her she is creepy, pushy and unreasonable.
The truth is that the boyfriend may come around, but ultimately sexual compatibility is key in maintaining a relationship. It isn’t healthy to remain in a relationship where your sexual needs are not met, and this includes anal.
Unfortunately, this is too often the negative attitude of those that prefer anal sex routinely encounter.
Lets hope she paid more attention to a later answer:
Seriously, you should probably have him watch some anal porn with you. Watching it may help him see how fun and wonderful it can be. But don’t get just an exclusively anal porn. Something that has vaginal sex in it as well. This may help him get used to the idea better if he relates it with “normal” sex.
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